Itsy Bitsy Spider Ain't So Bitsy (Tanau)

Bowen

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Jul 20, 2015
950
@"Tanau"

Shikkanuka really didn't like going shopping. He didn't fit very well in a lot of places, he was shy, and being in public put anyone with even the slightest fear of spiders at serious risk. He really really really didn't want to scare anyone.

He also didn't want to starve, though, and he couldn't afford to hire someone to go out and get food for him. And so there he was, wedged into the aisle of a supermarket that REALLY SHOULDN'T BE SO BUSY THIS LATE IN THE NIGHT why couldn't he just curl up and die in lonely misery. It really was quite late; he had forced himself to stop here after a gig because his fridge had basically two stalks of celery and some butter and nothing else.

The only reason he had celery left still was because he'd forgotten about it when he'd thrown everything else into a stew. He was not much of an herbivore; he was a spider.

From the waist down, anyway. All giant bright orange, slightly hairy eight-legged monstrosity down there. The rest of his spiderlingness he could mostly hide with clothing (when it wasn't irritating his skin, like now, leaving angry red welts all across his neck) and the hair he had carefully combed over his eyes.

He also felt that it was extremely surreal to be a giant half-spider creature pushing a shopping buggy down the snack foods aisle looking for cookies on sale.
 

Tanau

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Jun 7, 2015
272
Tanau was in a small predicament. Known to effect a wide range of people from all walks of life, the most common cause of this particular... epidemic being a lack of maintenance. That's right; Tanau was out of food. While he could have stopped by the cafeteria in such an occasion, the food they were serving today was the same old thing each week. it wasn't like he could get snacks like Doritos or Faygo from there. Who doesn't like those?

He walked in with a small basket. The first thing he saw? Not the faygo he wanted, not even those cheese ring knockoffs. Instead, what seemed to be a strange fusion of a man and a giant spider stood in front of him. "T-tasty..." No, no. He wouldn't. Though bug-like creatures were a common delicacy where he was from, he just wanted some Doritos. Honest. He quickly shrugged the thought off before speaking again.

"Uh, hi."

@"Bowen"
 

Bowen

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Jul 20, 2015
950
Shikkanuka was trying so hard (as usual) to reassure random people that he wasn't scary that he was right at the edge of tears even before one of the most terrifying words in existence reached his stressed little spider ears.

Tasty. Tasty implied eating and EATING HIM WAS HORRIBLE NO NO NO NO wait

He was in a place that was literally dedicated to food. Of course whoever it was who had said 'tasty' was simply referring to one of the wonderful snacks in this aisle.

EEP SOMEONE WAS ADDRESSING HIM no don't panic don't panic don't panic. Shikkanuka gave a little cough to try to get himself under control. "Um, h-h-h-hello," he stammered in reply, some of his noted musical ability slipping out through the broken consonants. Hey, his throat was still warmed up from singing earlier.

@"Tanau"
 

Tanau

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Jun 7, 2015
272
After his introduction, the aisle fell (relatively) silent again. He honestly couldn't help but... stare at the guy; he'd never seen such a majestic (and deliciously crunchy looking wait NO) creature in his life, and he used to own a piece of technology that let him hop between dimensions at will. Suffice to say, he'd seen some crazy shit. Not to mention, they guy had a pretty nice singing voice. Well, it sure seemed like it when he practically sung through his stammering.

It eventually occurred to him that he should probably respond to the poor guy. He looked stressed enough as it was, and he didn't want to come off as rude. "Uh, so what brings you here? I mean, what're you getting?"

@"Bowen"
 

Bowen

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Jul 20, 2015
950
@"Tanau"

Awkward silence. So so so awkward. Shikkanuka might constantly be mired in awkward but that didn't make him any better at handling it. If anything, it made it so much worse because he knew how bad and awkward it could be. Plus he was being actively, openly stared at and he didn't know what the grey guy was thinking. Was he scared? Was he hungry?

WAS HE SCARED AND HUNGRY?

Shikkanuka felt faint. It was s good thing he had so many legs; it was really, really hard to fall over. Down, yes, but he was leaning on his shopping cart so that direction was okay too. Breathe. Breathe. There. Conversation. He had to do conversation stuff. He could do conversation stuff, right?

Right. "J-just g-g-groceries," he said, shifting a few feet nervously and glancing at his cart, with its neatly stacked piles of cheap fruit, on-sale-because-it-was-about-to-expire meat, and boxes of assorted nommables that were all either on sale or had coupons. "W-what about y-you?"

See, this was normal. He could do normal. Probably. Maybe.
 

Tanau

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Jun 7, 2015
272
They were making conversation now. It was still at that 'rocky start' stage, but at least they were making conversation. This was good. Anything to keep his mind off the sudden urge to eat that may or may not have been beginning to invade his thoughts. As if to remind him, his stomach began rumbling.

Oh yeah. He hadn't eaten yet. Whoops.

"Oh, I just came to pick up some snacks, I am very much lacking in that department."

Yeah that helped. Nice one.

Hey, it was the truth. He was in need of food. After all why would he be here? Okay calm down remember what you're here for. "Just stuff that's unhealthy but worth it. Like Doritos." His teeth, which normally varied in structure like any human's, subconsciously became noticeably sharper as he spoke. Which became more obvious as he offered the guy a somewhat nervous-looking smirk.

@Bowen
 

Bowen

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Inactive
Jul 20, 2015
950
Oooohhhh Shikkanuka really really wanted to just crawl into some hole or corner or closet or something and stop existing. This was so awkward and he couldn't even hide his face in his hands because he was in public and people would stare even more and they were already staring and freaked out and hungry and scared and and and

Spider was very good at working himself into a panic without much cause for concern. "I-I-I'm low on s-snacks t-t-too," he mumbled, picking up another box from the shelf just so he had something to hold onto and fidget with and look occupied with.

Then he glanced at the stranger and twitch-jumped an inch off the ground. SHARP TEETH SHARP TEETH SHARP TEETH owwwwwwww he kind of jumped into the shelf and both bruised his shoulder and knocked a box of cookies on his head.

Definitely time to crawl into a hole and die, he thought as he tried to rub both his head and his shoulder at the same time without hurting his shoulder by using that arm to rub his head. Somewhere in the process, he'd pushed his cart a few feet away (why did they like to keep rolling??) and sunk to the ground, his legs sort of splayed around him.

"Oww...."
 

Tanau

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Inactive
Jun 7, 2015
272
What just happened right after the spider guy spoke happened so fast. He was amazed, but in a far different sense from before. This guy had somehow managed to both knock himself into a shelf, knocking a product on his head, and push away the very cart he was using (and apparently leaning on, judging by the way he ended up on the floor). He couldn't help but find this whole thing very amusing.

He tried in vain to hold back a snicker, his sharp, vicious-looking teeth still showing. "Are you okay, man?" he giggled.

@"Bowen"
 

Bowen

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Jul 20, 2015
950
@"Tanau"

Ow ow ow owwww.

Shikkanuka did not like pain. He didn't have much tolerance for it and he just plain didn't like it. Pain hurt. He kept rubbing at his injuries, not hard enough to cause more pain but enough that it was weirdly comforting (there was really no logic to rubbing bruises that he could think of; it usually just made them hurt more but he felt like trying to do it anyway??)

With his arms all twisted around to pat his owwies, and one hand in his face with his hair, Shikkanuka was at least spared further sight of the grey stranger's stressful teeth. He wibbled at his own misery for a few more moments, then answered.

"Kinda," he said sadly. "My head hurts..." somehow more than the shoulder that had actually hit a shelf. He'd just had a box land on his head - and not even a particularly big one.
 

Tanau

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Jun 7, 2015
272
There was the silence again. Except this time, Tanau was on the receiving end of the awkward and not the spider guy. He stood there, taking it all in. This guy was just... incredible.
"Your head hurts from... That...?" He gestured to the box that had fallen on his head. How amusing. This guy was such a meme it was almost sad. Really funny, though. Funny enough, in fact, to secretly take a photo of with his phone while he covered his face. He'd have to make a meme out of this later.

Still smirking from all his amusement, he decided to break the silence before it got awkward again. "You need a hand, buddy?" he giggled.

@"Bowen"
 
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