Voices in your head can be scary

Yang Ji Hye

Ji Hye let the man lead her over to bench that she hadn't seen, careful not to walk through any of the spirits in sight. The pupils in Yeoleot's eyes followed them as they sat down and as she fidgeted nervously, the entire spirit began to slide toward them. It spread itself out as a crescent around their feet.

It blinked as if in judgment.

"I'm Lysander."

Ji Hye looked at the man, startled from her nerve-wracking staring contest with the mokumokuren. He held out a hand, which she took hesitantly, letting go after only a momentary brush of their fingers.

"Are you feeling better?" Lysander asked her. "You seem" -there was a pause and Ji Hye strained, not sure if he was being drowned out or not -"red."

That's the best color! Mengyan manifested itself on the bench in the space between them and Ji Hye shrank back. It turned its head at her. You, though, are a disgrace to it, it said, poking at her cheek. Everybody looks good in red, so that takes some serious fail skill!

That only made Ji Hye blush harder. "I- uh, it's just-" There really was no good way to explain it, was there? "It's just me!" Which made no sense whatsoever in this contest.

The idiocy of the statement sent Mengyan into a cackling fit. Xunhuan, who had taken residency at their feet, snarled as one of its flailing limbs struck it on the ear. Viciously, the bulgasari bit into the offending part and yanked the akaname off.

Hey, you stupid -thing! Let go!

Behind them Leolkeo hungrily devoured the wiggling cocoons on its web, its now human head holding a fierce expression of glee as Kyoushi Sama watched on, yawning. Aoi no Ue curled up against the side of the bench, propping up its body in such a way that it looked like a queen on her throne.

Peasant, kindly refrain from looking like prey, the nure onna ordered her. Your coloring makes me thirstier.

There was nothing that she could say to that while Lysander was sitting right next to her, so Ji Hye settled instead for sitting there awkwardly, watching Xunhuan and Mengyan wrestle on the ground before them. Yeoleot's eyes had parted hastily to avoid the fight.

And then, all of a sudden, Shourou towered over them. YES, THERE IT IS AGAIN. WHERE IS THAT HOLYMAN? HE CANNOT HIDE FROM ME FOREVER.

Just a beat behind it, Lysander burst out, "That her being afraid has nothing to with me, yeah, I know. Will you shut up now?"

Ji Hye stared at him, frozen. Then, she was glancing around, frantically trying to see if there was anybody else around that he could have been speaking to. There wasn't. You're not the only one, Lysander had said.

Oh.

What was that feeling that she felt now? It seemed to hover around hope and relief.

Eh? What's with him? Mengyan looked up from the scuffle on the ground.

THE OUTBURST IS INDEED SUSPICIOUS, Shourou said. I SUGGEST THAT WE EAT HIM.

Ji Hye squeezed her eyes shut. I'm not alone, she thought. Her heart was doing hiccups and she couldn't do a thing about it. She didn't cry again, though.

"I'm Yang Ji Hye," she found herself saying. It made sense, at least, which was a positive. But then the enormity of everything was starting to really build up. Feeling a little like hyperventilating, the next thing she said was maybe not so appropriate.

"Shourou wants to eat you. You wouldn't happen to have a priest in your head, would you?"

I'm so stupid...

Yang Ji Hye

I BEG TO DIFFER, Shourou said, bones rattling ominously as Lysander made his comment about not being tasty. THERE ARE FEW UNAPPETIZING FLESHBAGS IN THIS WORLD. DIVINE PRESENCE OR NO, I WOULD NOT CONSIDER THIS PREY TO BE AMONG THOSE FEW.

Ji Hye shuffled nervously, edging vaguely in a direction to -what? Either protect Lysander or get away from the gashadokuro, it was hard to say.

tasty tasty! Leolkeo said in agreement from where it lay idly on its web, having finished devouring the lesser spirits. eat eat eat flesh tasty yes! priest bad flesh good flesh good good!

"What, do you have something to say as well?" Lysander bit out suddenly, the tone causing Ji Hye to jerk and wonder if she had done something wrong. But then she saw that he didn't seem to be speaking to her at all.

Ah, so this is what it's like when people see me! Ji Hye realized. She could now why it could be disturbing. But, the way that Lysander spoke to his spirits. It seemed like he was so in control of them. I could only ever do that with the lesser ones, maybe, she thought. Only if the others weren't around. And maybe with Imouto and Oppa. She owed so much to Oppa, though, that she probably wouldn't be able to do it anyways.

He's nice! Imouto plopped back onto the plane, reappearing in the empty spot on the bench that Mengyan had previously occupied. Unconsciously, Ji Hye drew closer to it so it could brush against her arm. She only made a slight, soft sound of agreement.

I should be saying something, Ji Hye thought as she looked at Lysander, quietly almost pleading for him to keep the conversation running. He's been nice enough to put up with me this far. Oh, what if I'm just bothering him?

"Do they talk a lot to you?" she asked, feeling like it was kind of a pathetic question. Inwardly, though, she wanted to ask, Can you make them be quiet? Can you show me how to do that? But she was too afraid of Shourou and the others to ask it in their presence. So, forever. "Mine can go on for a while."

And in the background, she could hear the sounds of the tsukumogami speaking excitedly, buzzing loudly. She touched her free hand to her ear, wincing as the spirits laughed and shouted at something.

Yang Ji Hye

"The question is, my friend, do they ever shut up," Lysander said, and Ji Hye was surprised to find the corner of her lips shakily quirking a little upwards. It flattened right back out soon enough.

HIS INSOLENCE IS AMUSING, Shourou said. HOWEVER, THE PRESENCE OF THE LESSER PREY IN HIS SKULL SHOULD NOT BE ENOUGH TO SAVE HIM FROM PHYSICAL HARM.

"I'm getting a bit better at ignoring them though," Lysander started, trailing off. He closed his eyes for a few moments. "Actually, it seems that you'll have to scratch that. I'll never get used to the pain."

Ji Hye watched on sympathetically but still felt as if she were intruding on something. Do they read all of his thoughts, then? she wondered worriedly. It was a frightening idea to consider, since her mind was the only place Ji Hye had privacy in anymore.

I suspect that the peasant will once again deny your request, for whatever reason, Aoi no Ue deadpanned. It turned to Ji Hye. Perhaps the peasant boy will be willing to offer up his blood. Its tongue flickered out briefly. Or, more preferably, simply take it from him. The healer, if it is competent, will prevent him from bleeding out, after all.

"Uh, how about you?" Lysander asked, after it looked as if he had gotten his own spirits under control. His expression was unsure. "I mean you have said they talk to you a lot but..."

"Ah." Ji Hye looked down her her hands. "There, there isn't really much use in trying to ignore them," she said about her own spirits, shifting anxiously at the movement in the corner of her sight. "It doesn't hurt, though. They, they aren't really in my head. I guess that's why. They're just...around."

useless useless talk! Leolkeo was crawling on the ceiling above them now, Ji Hye guessed. She could hear the sneer in its voice. kill kill kill eat yes!

There were so many things she could say. Do I gloss over them? Do I just spill everything? She could feel her heart starting to hammer against her ribs. But she wanted so badly just to be able to tell somebody for once, somebody who could understand it. Not just somebody who could only theorize about it. Wouldn't that be nice?

This place one of the cleanest, most boring places I've ever been to, Mengyan complained. Let's mess it up! But you'd probably fail at that, huh?

She sighed. "The tsukumogami usually stay on the plane," Ji Hye said, keeping her voice quiet enough so that she wouldn't be able to hear it over the spirits around her. Somehow, it gave her more confidence. A small amount, at least. "They're the background noise. I don't hear much at times." She made a sound that could have been a nervous laugh or a choke. "Like now. Maybe. Those are just the lesser ones but there's enough of them that they're always talking. It's my own fault, really. I wasn't ever good with keeping my power under check. It just kept leaking out..."

Yang Ji Hye

Do you think there are people here who can chain lightning things to themselves? Xunhuan wondered. You know, the lightning creatures that live in those light boxes people have around.

Television! Imouto chipped up.

Ji Hye strained to hear Lysander's words over their voices. "I got used to it," he was saying. "Mostly... Somehow. In a way... Okay, not really, but I don't have any other choice, right?" He stopped for a moment and seemed to be listening to one of his spirits talking to him.

Now wouldn't that be a stupid thing? Kyoushi Sama began to viciously wash its paws. I wouldn't be surprised, though. It seems like the type of person this place would actively go looking for.

She made a gesture kind of crossed between a shrug and a nervous nod, trying to answer both conversations at the same time. Yes, the girl thought despondently, there just isn't a choice, I know. Why does this even happen? And also, she meant to convey, I think I like this place, I think that I would be okay if there was. I think it would okay. I really do. If only that meant something. Why am I always so helpless?

Some people just aren't meant to be strong. Now had that thought actually come from her? Or had somebody else told her that? There were just too many people around her to be able to know for sure. One, two, six, twelve, a hundred. More. And then Lysander and however many people he carried with him. Sometimes it seemed like Ji Hye was lost out in that sea of personalities because she really had so little of her own.

"Tsukumogami?" Lysander sounded confused, his voice sounding small under the weight of the other conversations going on above it. All of a sudden, he squeezed his eyes shut. "Stop that! What the hell, Lyre?!"

Spirits, not me, Ji Hye was quick to remind herself. I haven't done anything wrong, he isn't talking to me. And why did she feel as if another presence had entered the space? One of Lysander's? she wondered. But she hadn't felt any of them so far.

Imouto perked up on the bench next to her. Oh! it said, sounding surprised. Oh, I can't remember what that is. It stared out at the wall, its head tilted to the head as if in thought.

Ji Hye looked around to see if anybody else had noticed. But the presence had been very faint and the other spirits seemed engrossed in their own doings. There might have been a lapse in the background noise of the tsukumogami but she couldn't be sure.

"Um, Ly-Lysander?" She asked, "What kind of spirits are you bound to, exactly? We don't have the same kinds, it seems like. Um." Are they nice to you, at least? Oppa-nice or Imouto-nice. Hitori-kind of nice, even. Are there many of them?

If the presence of the priest was any indication, they were probably human or partially human. Ji Hye often wondered if that would have ever made a difference with her, to have actual people bound to her instead of these... Lesser nature spirits? Demons? Household spirits? The categories seemed so neat when they remained only in her mind.