Voices in your head can be scary

Yang Ji Hye

Just outside of the admissions office, a short Korean girl stood hunched by the door frame, appearing to be trying to melt into the wall. Her bangs had fallen forward to partially curtain her face but if somebody looked hard enough, they would be able to see a blank, dazed expression and a partially open mouth. Every so often, her head would twitch to the side and send the emotions on her face shuffling through calm, anxiety, fear, and disturbance before reverting right back to blank. To put it simply, Ji Hye looked kind of stoned.

There was a little more to it than just that, of course. Anybody with spiritual powers would be able to tell that there was something simply wrong in that general area where she stood, feet contained in a single tile of floor. Her arms were squeezed straight by her sides as if in an invisible coffin.

Psst, hey you! came a whisper from over her shoulder. The source of it, like some of the other presences hanging about her, had rendered itself invisible for the time. I bet everybody thinks you're on drugs! Mengyan cackled gleefully. No, seriously, though. You might want to close your mouth. Who knows what could fly into it! Right? Right?

THERE IS POWER HERE another voice declared. Shourou stood crouched over her in full view, its bony legs coming down on either side of her body. That was the reason why Ji Hye was postured so rigidly. There was only a few millimeters of space between her and the gashdokuro. I DEMAND THAT WE DEVOUR SOME OF THESE PREY. YOUR SQUEAMISHNESS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

kill kill kill tasty flesh tasty yes! Leolkeo added its voice in agreement, spider parts clicking together in anticipation. flesh good flesh good delicious kill them all!

Ji Hye twitched. "Stop it, stop it," she muttered under her breath. "Please just be quiet, I need to be normal now. Stop."

By her feet, Yeoleot blinked its hundred eyes silently.

I want to kill something! Xunhuan said excitedly, different parts of its body phasing in and out of view. What about those? it asked about a group of passing students.

I am thirsty. Aoi no Ue sniffed delicately, coiling its serpentine body into a neat pile. Peasant, I don't see what's so unreasonable about my request. It's not like I'm asking you to kill people like these other spirits here. I simply require a decent meal. As a host, I find that you are appallingly bad-mannered.

Oh, look at this! What's that? Hey, do you think we could-

Honestly! Never in all of my years-

BOO! Hey, did I scare you? Haha, you're such a freak!

kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill-

THAT ONE OVER THERE. I WILL FEAST ON HIS FLESH.

Ji Hye twitched again and thumped the back of her head against the wall. "Shut up, shut up!" She let out a sort of whimper and began to cross her arms together in a loose self-hug. "Just for a bit, please be quiet."

This was a rather normal day.

Yang Ji Hye

Being ignored was something that Ji Hye had become used to and the tendency to give up after only a couple of tries was just part of the package. It was all hopeless, anyways, to try and convince any of the spirits of anything.

Maybe I should just listen to them for once? If I make them happy, will they leave me alone then? she thought uncertainly, panic sending her heart into a frenzied thumping which made her body feel numb and her thoughts dull. She was almost unable to hear herself in her own mind as the spirits around her continued to argue.

Hm, so demanding you lot. Kyoushi Sama stretched its body luxuriously and passed over a few of Yeoleot's eyes with a glance of disdain. You should probably give in to the self-named lady over there it said. Don't you think you've made enough enemies among us?

"I can't do that," the girl said monotonously, staring down at the tiles. Her eyes were unfocused and only seeing blurs. "Then I'd have to do it for everybody else, too."

Yes? Yes, can we? Xunhuan said eagerly, batting at her leg. Ji Hye flinched as the needles on its pelt went into her skin. They left no wound but she could feel the sting lingering on. Humans have pets. Can I have a pet? Oh, can I have that one over there? Her hair is so pretty!

"You can't keep humans as pets," she muttered, trying to shuffle away from Xunhuan without brushing against Shourou's leg. "That's called slavery."

Above them, the gashadokuro was in a vehement disagreement with Leolkeo which was drowning out her words.

I AM BIGGER THAN YOU. THUS I REQUIRE FAR MORE SUSTENANCE Shourou was saying.

The tsuchigumo had adopted a fully arachnid form now and was clinging to the top of the opposite wall. yes? yes? bones bones what need for food? it hissed in Shourou's face. none! food all mine mine!

Xunhuan's ears twitched. Oh. It appeared to think for several moments. It perked up. Can I have a slave then?

"No, people wouldn't like it," Ji Hye said, trailing off.

Ohoho! That one looks juicy! Aoi no Ue eyed a bigger than average person hungrily. Surely he will not notice if I take just a few pints?

Why not? Xunhuan wailed. How do you think your pets feel? I bet it's the same!

Noise, there's just too much noise. "Stop asking me things!"

Why?

Yeah, "why?" You hypocrite!

The voices washed over her and her head pounded. Don't cry, she told herself. She could feel tears building up in the corners of her eyes. Don't cry. They would only make fun of her for it, she knew. Something tugged gently at her skirt.

Ji-chan? Imouto looked up at her. Today it had taken the wispy form of a mountain spirit, wearing a hat made from a giant white mushroom cap. It had only two little dark holes for eyes. Ji-chan, I think- It was impossible to hear it.

"Please not now," Ji Hye told it quietly. "It's not a good time."

Imouto tilted its head back. But-

And then suddenly, there was a weight on her arm, warm and real. "Hey, are you alright?" she heard a person -an actual person- ask. The voice was faint, seeming so distant. She froze.

At some point, Shourou had shifted in its argument with Leolkeo. It now had a foot on each side of the hallway, unsuspecting students passing under its body unknowingly. Ji Hye had missed the movement and taken the blur that had come up on her side as one of its legs.

Actually looking at this person who had confronted her, Ji Hye found herself at a loss. "Alright?" she echoed. She looked nervously from his face to over his shoulder.

mine! Leolkeo scurried down the wall. It turned its eyes onto this man. food! food! it rejoiced. quick kill now now now!

Shourou crouched down to observe the human in question. NOW WHAT KIND OF PREY IS THIS?

Fear welled up inside of her. "No!" Ji Hye burst out without thinking, turning to the two spirits. "You can't just -I don't want you to-"

Hey, kid Kyoushi Sama said. You might want to check your arm right now. We've got company.

Ji Hye blinked. "What?" But even before the word left her lips, she remembered that the number of thinking, judging beings present had just increased by one.

Yang Ji Hye

The minor tsukumogami spoke in broken mutters from the sub-plane where they were hidden. Ji Hye heard them, as well as the brief lapse in conversation.

NOW THAT IS INTERESTING.

She scooted into the wall with a squeak as Shourou moved closer to the man and had the gashadokuro been capable of expression, there might have been a frown of contemplation on its face.

Leolkeo spat on the ground and backed away from them, as Imouto cooed, looking at the man with stars in its eyes.

FOR A MOMENT, I THOUGHT I COULD SENSE SOMETHING DIVINE, Shourou said. It straightened slightly. PERHAPS RESIDUE FROM A PASSING HOLY MAN. HM. IT MAKES MY BONES ITCH.

I like priests, Imouto said shyly. They makes things nice. The spirit vanished in fright as Mengyan swiped a clawed hand at it, jeering.

nasty nasty nasties tasty flesh but nasty tasty! Leolkeo muttered to itself, torso contorting from arachnid to human and back. hungry so hungry hungry!

"I," Ji Hye started. By the man's feet, Xunhuan was sniffing at his shoes. "Um." Meanwhile, Yeoleot's eyes had begun to shift to the wall next to him. They blinked in unison as she tried to form coherent speech. What did he say? she thought desperately. It was "Are you alright," right? What was the thing after?

Her thoughts crashed to a halt as she realized something.

Wait. Wait, I heard him clearly that time, Ji Hye thought in confusion. I think? And, the tsukumogami. It was. Quiet? Only a few seconds. It was, at most, only for five. But it had been there. For five short seconds, it had been totally quiet. It had happened before but not in her recent memory.

It was quiet. Had been, anyways. Now the conversations were going on again, almost as strong as before. Almost. Almost, almost, almost.

Ji Hye just felt numb. She said "I don't know," and had to strain to hear herself. "Sorry," she heard her voice say from a distant place. "Maybe I should just-" Go, she wanted to say. But didn't really matter anyways. She dissolved that line of thought and awkwardly began to slip away, trying to tiptoe around the spirits in the area.

Yang Ji Hye

There was power pouring into her skin from somewhere all of a sudden, bringing a radiating, prickling feeling. The initial contact made Ji Hye shudder. It wasn't a bad feeling, though. On the contrary, actually. The magic settled into her, warm and heavy. Her heart squeezed. For once, there was the utterly foreign sensation of feeling safe.

But something about the magic didn't quite seem to take physically. Ji Hye could feel the power trying to seep more deeply into somewhere -and being rejected. At the same time, something in her seemed to stir, jolted awake by the new magic.

She flinched. It felt like parts inside of her tried to jump and knit together and as they failed and kept failing, she couldn't help but think, So was my theory right then?

The feeling of safety crept somewhere into the back of her mind, humming. The warm feeling remained in her body. It hurt. And then it just didn't.

The magic cut off.

Ji Hye breathed out deeply, a weight that she hadn't even noticed lifting off her chest.

The spirits were still arguing, loudly. Terms flying around for diviners and summoners, and really any kind of spiritual power. Their voices dipped into several languages all at once, some of them human and some not. They were in even more perfect clarity now, every syllable precise in her hearing. But it was as if somebody had taken the master controls and downed down the volume.

Oh, I can hear, she thought, unable to be sure what she made of it. Was she supposed to feel happy? Relieved? Confused, that's what she was.

It wouldn't last, Ji Hye knew. Even now, as the seconds passed, the barrier against the sound was cracking. Or maybe it had never really existed at all. It seemed likely that all that was really happening was that she was calming down.

She trembled without knowing why, licking her lips, and looked at the man with wide eyes. For the first time, she actually looked straight at him.

"I'm not crazy," Ji Hye found herself rambling. "I swear I'm not, I'm really not. Sometimes it's just too loud and I can't even hear myself think." She felt like sobbing but her eyes were strangely dry now. She shouldn't be saying things like this to a total stranger.

But isn't that what you came here for in the first place? a voice in the back of her mind said. To get help, right? Don't you have to start talking to people at some point? It was starting to hit her, really hit her that she was at a place where abnormal things -people, people. Those other people were people but she wasn't sure about herself- like her might not be unheard of.

What have I gotten into? she wondered. And just like that, the floodgates opened up and she choked.

"Sorry, sorry," she forced through the tears. She heard Mengyan jeer, and Leolkeo screech, and Aoi no Ue scoff at her weakness and Kyoushi Sama make an offhand comment about emotional girls.

It didn't matter. She didn't want it to matter. It did anyways but for now, she could at least pretend for a few moments that it didn't.

Ji Hye wiped her face, sniffing noisily. "It's been a rough day."

Yang Ji Hye

Aw, how touching. I think I'm going to puke. Mengyan seemed to think for a moment before leering at her. So, it said, When are you going to screw him?

Ji Hye flushed as she sputtered some kind of protest. "S-sorry," she said to the man, feeling mortified. "That, that wasn't for you."

Don't worry, I believe ya, he had said. Did he really? Was she just hearing the things she wanted to hear? Or was just saying it because he was trying to humor her?

But, he seems nice? Her head and heart hurt from wondering about it.

Aoi no Ue slithered in front of Mengyan and lifted its head, coils flaring. How vulgar! Watch your tongue, akaname!

Please, Mengyan sneered. We were all thinking it and you know it.

There would be no value in such a thing! Aoi no Ue said in disdain. Look how plain that man is! Surely there can nothing much to him.

Ha. So you were thinking it! the red spirit said in triumph. All you did was phrase it differently!

"I-Uh, yes!" Ji Hye squeaked. "Let's find some place- Um." There were too many spirits in the way for her to see if there was a sitting area anywhere near.

Shourou was still cramped into the upper half of the hallway, brooding as Leolkeo began to weave a web around it. There were already some lesser spirits trapped on the strands, just little will o wisps so faint that even her Dark Sight had trouble seeing them clearly. Their screams were shrill and quiet as the tsuchigumo eagerly wrapped them in thread. Lazily, Kyoushi Sama pawed at one which had broken free, throwing it back in to its death.

Can we take this one as a slave? Xunhuan asked anxiously, nuzzling its body against the man's leg. You like him, right? That means we can keep him, right?

The tears that were starting to come back up were probably of humiliation. Up until that point, Ji Hye hadn't known she had even retained anything of her pride. It was a strange, mostly negative feeling.