Name: Vesper Galen Grey
Age: 19
Birthday: January 25th
Gender: Female
Species: Human, ⅛ Enenra
Religion: Apathetic Agnostic (basically-- “I don’t know and I don’t care”)
Category: Student, College First Year
Major: Undecided*
Appearance:
[size=9Credit to [url=[URL]http://bluesaga331.deviantart.com/]bluesaga331[/URL][/url] for creating this art. They’re amazing! I have recieved permission from them to use this on my profile.[/size]
Perhaps the easiest way to describe Vesper is both streamlined and angular. Pretty enough to model with ease, Vesper’s a tall girl, about 5’7”, with small bones, a slender figure and endless legs. Her curves are gentle, feminine but not outrageously so, and her breasts are about average, if not a bit on the smaller side. Vesper’s shoulders are boney, rather than fleshy, and she has very little fat anywhere to cushion her frame. However, her transitions are smooth and fitting, and she makes the slimness work.
Vesper’s complexion is honestly very doll-like in its beauty, but its edge cannot be ignored. Though fair as she may be, her face - chin, nose, cheekbones, jawline - all are sharp and defined, but subtly enough that no feature appears awkward or misplaced on her face. As said before, the transitions are smooth and seem to fit her overall image. Vesper’s eyes are a faint, greyish-blue in color, nearly resembling ice in both appearance and impression. Already defined by unusually long lashes, she often defines them further with dark, dramatic eyeshadow and mascara, often the only visibly made-up part of her. They are compelling and judgemental eyes, clinging to every action made by those around her, just as sharp as any of her other features. Possibly the only soft feature about Vesper are her lips. They are plump and pouty, colored in a pale pink as is natural with someone of her complexion. After all, her skin is quite fair, creamy and pale as porcelain with only a faint splash of coloring. Finally, Vesper’s hair is white, pure white and naturally so, as surprising as it may be. She wears it medium length, only an inch or two past her shoulders, with many highly-textured layers and bangs that fall across her forehead. With her naturally straight hair, this achieves an almost purposefully-messy look, sharper than it is sleek - just like the rest of her.
As far as facial expressions are concerned, Vesper is hardly very expressive. Her face often rests in a somewhat flippant, casually judgemental state, seemingly unconcerned with her surroundings. However, her striking eyes are very observative, and she often catches the happenings around her even when appearing to be absorbed otherwise. It should be noted that, despite she quiet judgement coloring her features, Vesper rarely seems outright aggressive or hostile. She isn’t an arrogant person, and generally doesn’t aim to convey such, though it has been mistaken before. However, she is definitely unapproachable, giving off a distant, unimpressed, and sometimes chilly air about her. At the same time, this aura is as compelling as her eyes, urging others to inquire while warning them not to approach.
Though Vesper is not naturally very expressive, that is not to say she’s constantly indifferent. She simply maintains a good control over outward appearance. When she does show other expressions, they are usually slight, rather than dramatic smiled and grimaces. Nevertheless, these small changes of face speak volumes for Vesper, saying plenty about what she feels — but rarely more than she’s willing to give. Only strong, surprising flashes of emotions can usually catch her off guard. In short, Vesper’s face may not be traditionally expressive, but it’s enough on someone like her.
Though emitting a casual and fairly unapproachable air, Vesper does tend to take very good care of herself. She jogs and attends the gym often twice weekly, and liked to do an hour of yoga every day, though there are exceptions at times. Vesper’s frequent dance and gymnastic sessions play on her yoga skill as well, showing in her strength, flexibility and graceful movement. She keeps her hair brushed and smooth, makeup impeccable and body clean. She almost always smells of a soft, cool mix between calla lilies and rain. In clothing, Vesper doesn’t care much for whatever is trending in society’s higher circles, nor what brands are the most “fashionable.” She gets her clothes for cheap despite her wealth and wears what she feels herself in, rather than what others would think most appropriate. Loose crop tops, beanies and jeans often color Vesper’s wardrobe, and she’s never been one for flashy colors. She likes flashy belts, chains and bracelets, both for ankles and wrists. She has several piercings in each ear.
Vesper’s voice is both deep and distinctly feminine, with a cool tone and a slight scratchiness that make it unique. Her vocal range is vast, but she rarely sings, and her laugh is rich, chesty and rare.
Personality:
Powers:
Species Traits:
History:
Additional Information:
* Vesper has a strong inclination towards maths and physics and, though excelling in most academic areas, these are her strong suits. However, with her knack for strategy and a couple well-placed comments from cops after her uncle was apprehended, Vesper is entertaining the idea of studying in the investigative and criminal mentality areas. She may even enter into the police academy.
Name Pronunciation: Vehs-pur Gay-lin Gray
Age: 19
Birthday: January 25th
Gender: Female
Species: Human, ⅛ Enenra
Religion: Apathetic Agnostic (basically-- “I don’t know and I don’t care”)
Category: Student, College First Year
Major: Undecided*
Appearance:
[size=9Credit to [url=[URL]http://bluesaga331.deviantart.com/]bluesaga331[/URL][/url] for creating this art. They’re amazing! I have recieved permission from them to use this on my profile.[/size]
Perhaps the easiest way to describe Vesper is both streamlined and angular. Pretty enough to model with ease, Vesper’s a tall girl, about 5’7”, with small bones, a slender figure and endless legs. Her curves are gentle, feminine but not outrageously so, and her breasts are about average, if not a bit on the smaller side. Vesper’s shoulders are boney, rather than fleshy, and she has very little fat anywhere to cushion her frame. However, her transitions are smooth and fitting, and she makes the slimness work.
Vesper’s complexion is honestly very doll-like in its beauty, but its edge cannot be ignored. Though fair as she may be, her face - chin, nose, cheekbones, jawline - all are sharp and defined, but subtly enough that no feature appears awkward or misplaced on her face. As said before, the transitions are smooth and seem to fit her overall image. Vesper’s eyes are a faint, greyish-blue in color, nearly resembling ice in both appearance and impression. Already defined by unusually long lashes, she often defines them further with dark, dramatic eyeshadow and mascara, often the only visibly made-up part of her. They are compelling and judgemental eyes, clinging to every action made by those around her, just as sharp as any of her other features. Possibly the only soft feature about Vesper are her lips. They are plump and pouty, colored in a pale pink as is natural with someone of her complexion. After all, her skin is quite fair, creamy and pale as porcelain with only a faint splash of coloring. Finally, Vesper’s hair is white, pure white and naturally so, as surprising as it may be. She wears it medium length, only an inch or two past her shoulders, with many highly-textured layers and bangs that fall across her forehead. With her naturally straight hair, this achieves an almost purposefully-messy look, sharper than it is sleek - just like the rest of her.
As far as facial expressions are concerned, Vesper is hardly very expressive. Her face often rests in a somewhat flippant, casually judgemental state, seemingly unconcerned with her surroundings. However, her striking eyes are very observative, and she often catches the happenings around her even when appearing to be absorbed otherwise. It should be noted that, despite she quiet judgement coloring her features, Vesper rarely seems outright aggressive or hostile. She isn’t an arrogant person, and generally doesn’t aim to convey such, though it has been mistaken before. However, she is definitely unapproachable, giving off a distant, unimpressed, and sometimes chilly air about her. At the same time, this aura is as compelling as her eyes, urging others to inquire while warning them not to approach.
Though Vesper is not naturally very expressive, that is not to say she’s constantly indifferent. She simply maintains a good control over outward appearance. When she does show other expressions, they are usually slight, rather than dramatic smiled and grimaces. Nevertheless, these small changes of face speak volumes for Vesper, saying plenty about what she feels — but rarely more than she’s willing to give. Only strong, surprising flashes of emotions can usually catch her off guard. In short, Vesper’s face may not be traditionally expressive, but it’s enough on someone like her.
Though emitting a casual and fairly unapproachable air, Vesper does tend to take very good care of herself. She jogs and attends the gym often twice weekly, and liked to do an hour of yoga every day, though there are exceptions at times. Vesper’s frequent dance and gymnastic sessions play on her yoga skill as well, showing in her strength, flexibility and graceful movement. She keeps her hair brushed and smooth, makeup impeccable and body clean. She almost always smells of a soft, cool mix between calla lilies and rain. In clothing, Vesper doesn’t care much for whatever is trending in society’s higher circles, nor what brands are the most “fashionable.” She gets her clothes for cheap despite her wealth and wears what she feels herself in, rather than what others would think most appropriate. Loose crop tops, beanies and jeans often color Vesper’s wardrobe, and she’s never been one for flashy colors. She likes flashy belts, chains and bracelets, both for ankles and wrists. She has several piercings in each ear.
Vesper’s voice is both deep and distinctly feminine, with a cool tone and a slight scratchiness that make it unique. Her vocal range is vast, but she rarely sings, and her laugh is rich, chesty and rare.
Personality:
On the surface, Vesper seems, in a word, indifferent. She’s not a hateful person, nor is she altogether apathetic; Vesper is simply not very expressive - cool, rather than cold, and distant, rather than mean. Though often mistaken, Vesper is also not a very arrogant or genuinely judgemental person, though she may have her moments just as any other will. She just doesn’t care much for the opinions of strangers and won’t hesitate to correct the assumption that she does. Vesper doesn’t give a damn about her reputation, especially in reference to strangers she neither knows nor plans to know. She is a woman who lives how she wishes, and on no one’s terms but her own. This is not a reflection of a selfish nature, but of a reserved, independent and individualistic one. She does not conform to societal norms that she does not believe in, and sticks to her own ideas of things, though these specific beliefs are malleable to a degree. Vesper is a quietly freethinking person, not a quietly pigheaded one.
In general, Vesper generally keeps a level presence. She has incredibly control over her emotions and body language, allowing her lies and tells to be nearly impossible to detect, though there can always be an exceptional fault-finder that catches her in the act. Vesper’s skill comes from several years of practiced lying and manipulation of a dangerous man. Though rarely visibly tense, she rarely lets her guard down, especially in public, and is very hard to catch off guard. Vesper does not often reveal her her inward emotions and opinions, and usually only supplies what she herself feels fit, so please don’t metagame tells that aren’t there.
Vesper’s control over her body language may imply her to be a manipulative person, but in truth, she is generally straightforward when there is a need to be so. She is not a passive-aggressive person, unafraid to call people out if acting stupid or childish, and she only hold grudges against those who deserve it. After all, she rather doesn’t care about others’ actions; it takes significant happenings to anger her at all (note - most of Vesper’s fighting in the past was internalized anger, poor self-control and attention lust, all of which have been dealt with in some way). In truth, Vesper holds contempt for lying, manipulation and foul-play, despite being able to enact them well. When she does manipulate, it is often for specific, well-deserved reasons, rather than selfish gratification, and all the while Vesper still holds distaste for the actions. In turn, Vesper doesn’t take kindly to people trying to manipulate or hurt her either, and, though not a terribly vulgar person, has a few words reserved to express her opinions on the matter.
Vesper is not the sort of person to seek out affection, either. She may accept it in a shallow way, going with the flow if the mood strikes to do so. However, she hardly cherishes flirtation and empty romance, taking no hesitation in ending an interaction if she feels it no longer suits her. Vesper really holds most people at a distance. She may flirt, make acquaintances and hold casual relationships, but she will rarely seek a deeper bond. In fact, Vesper tends to reject outreach from others if she feels they are getting too close. She likes to maintain a comforting bubble of separation from people - perhaps not outright isolation, but definitely a lack of closeness. Vesper is not an easy person to develop intimacy with, and is often labeled “complicated” and “not easy.”
Nevertheless, Vesper does open up a bit more to those who manage to worm their way into her heart, but rarely to the extent that these lucky (or, at least, persistant) few would like. She may show a bit more of herself, her true emotions and reactions, to her closer people, and she may discuss more personal information or give more of her hobbies and interests, but Vesper would still feel as though she is holding everyone at a distance. She keeps a veil up around others, even her most intimate relations, because the idea of emotional intimacy makes her feel exposed, vulnerable and able to be conquered. Vesper feels it too easy to be deceived and hurt when her heart is open, too easy to give her hopes up for nothing, and so she prefers to keep to herself and not deal with it at all.
But, at her core, Vesper is lonely and unwell. She feigns happiness - or, at least, contentment - a bit too well, and often deceives even herself. Vesper has a lot of memories and issues she refuses to explore. Her mind is stuck around emotional self-preservation, and in the thick of this, she has developed a major problem with locking away emotions that she doesn’t want to deal with. If Vesper had been an emotional child, she would never have come out on top of her past, and this philosophy seems to continuously govern the deepest areas of her being, even with her renewed and, really, rather pleasant circumstances. In the end, Vesper is a survivor of lifelong abusive, neglectful circumstances. Her ideas have been ingrained into her very center and will be a right pin to get past. Vesper is not someone to be “fixed,” whether by friendship or by love. Though she may open up, it won’t be to just anyone, and it won’t be for just anything. Vesper is complicated and hard to get close to, and this isn’t something that can be resolved in an easy plot or two.
Vesper’s interest reflect her personality; they are quiet, solitary and peaceful. She enjoys walking through the woods immensely, especially after light rain or snow flurries, and takes comfort in the quiet of the trees and the chirping of the birds. Photography is one of her casual hobbies, and in accordance with her enjoyment of nature, her pictures mostly follow a nature quiet nature aesthetic. Though not much of a writer, Vesper occasionally dabbles in poetry - nothing flowery and superficial, mind, but simple words with intense meaning; it serves as a bit of self-expression, when she does care to deal with things. Vesper is, also, skilled in dance and gymnastics. Her flexibility and balance serve her well in these areas, and though Vesper’s two favorite (and conflicting) styles are ballet and street dancing, she can cut a rug to any beat that plays. Aside from these, Vesper isn’t an incredibly artsy person. She enjoys reading and can appreciate art and music, but doesn’t have any exceptional talent in the areas.
Vesper is, however, a big fan of television and cinema. She quite enjoys bingeing out a new series or three when life allows, and fully appreciates a good movie. She sometimes gets really… intense about the plots and pairings of her shows, but hardly lets on about it. Vesper’s interest in cinema has led her to filming a few short films, only a few minutes in length and often without actual dialogue or characters, but she wouldn’t mind creating something a little longer if given the plot and inspiration. Aside from her fictional fandoms, Vesper also enjoys nature and astronomy documentaries, and has a particular interest in stars and space.
Vesper is an avid smoker. She’s not addicted - her species negates negative effects in smoking - but she does enjoy it. However, Vesper can curb the habit in the case of children or avid non-smokers. She also drinks a bit more than she should, though she does so mostly in the confines of her own home. Vesper prefers finer flavors - wine, champagne, etc - but can easily hold down hard liquors when she likes. As far as food goes, rich and savory flavors are Vesper’s kryptonite, and she much prefers quality dishes over fast food.
In general, Vesper generally keeps a level presence. She has incredibly control over her emotions and body language, allowing her lies and tells to be nearly impossible to detect, though there can always be an exceptional fault-finder that catches her in the act. Vesper’s skill comes from several years of practiced lying and manipulation of a dangerous man. Though rarely visibly tense, she rarely lets her guard down, especially in public, and is very hard to catch off guard. Vesper does not often reveal her her inward emotions and opinions, and usually only supplies what she herself feels fit, so please don’t metagame tells that aren’t there.
Vesper’s control over her body language may imply her to be a manipulative person, but in truth, she is generally straightforward when there is a need to be so. She is not a passive-aggressive person, unafraid to call people out if acting stupid or childish, and she only hold grudges against those who deserve it. After all, she rather doesn’t care about others’ actions; it takes significant happenings to anger her at all (note - most of Vesper’s fighting in the past was internalized anger, poor self-control and attention lust, all of which have been dealt with in some way). In truth, Vesper holds contempt for lying, manipulation and foul-play, despite being able to enact them well. When she does manipulate, it is often for specific, well-deserved reasons, rather than selfish gratification, and all the while Vesper still holds distaste for the actions. In turn, Vesper doesn’t take kindly to people trying to manipulate or hurt her either, and, though not a terribly vulgar person, has a few words reserved to express her opinions on the matter.
Vesper is not the sort of person to seek out affection, either. She may accept it in a shallow way, going with the flow if the mood strikes to do so. However, she hardly cherishes flirtation and empty romance, taking no hesitation in ending an interaction if she feels it no longer suits her. Vesper really holds most people at a distance. She may flirt, make acquaintances and hold casual relationships, but she will rarely seek a deeper bond. In fact, Vesper tends to reject outreach from others if she feels they are getting too close. She likes to maintain a comforting bubble of separation from people - perhaps not outright isolation, but definitely a lack of closeness. Vesper is not an easy person to develop intimacy with, and is often labeled “complicated” and “not easy.”
Nevertheless, Vesper does open up a bit more to those who manage to worm their way into her heart, but rarely to the extent that these lucky (or, at least, persistant) few would like. She may show a bit more of herself, her true emotions and reactions, to her closer people, and she may discuss more personal information or give more of her hobbies and interests, but Vesper would still feel as though she is holding everyone at a distance. She keeps a veil up around others, even her most intimate relations, because the idea of emotional intimacy makes her feel exposed, vulnerable and able to be conquered. Vesper feels it too easy to be deceived and hurt when her heart is open, too easy to give her hopes up for nothing, and so she prefers to keep to herself and not deal with it at all.
But, at her core, Vesper is lonely and unwell. She feigns happiness - or, at least, contentment - a bit too well, and often deceives even herself. Vesper has a lot of memories and issues she refuses to explore. Her mind is stuck around emotional self-preservation, and in the thick of this, she has developed a major problem with locking away emotions that she doesn’t want to deal with. If Vesper had been an emotional child, she would never have come out on top of her past, and this philosophy seems to continuously govern the deepest areas of her being, even with her renewed and, really, rather pleasant circumstances. In the end, Vesper is a survivor of lifelong abusive, neglectful circumstances. Her ideas have been ingrained into her very center and will be a right pin to get past. Vesper is not someone to be “fixed,” whether by friendship or by love. Though she may open up, it won’t be to just anyone, and it won’t be for just anything. Vesper is complicated and hard to get close to, and this isn’t something that can be resolved in an easy plot or two.
Vesper’s interest reflect her personality; they are quiet, solitary and peaceful. She enjoys walking through the woods immensely, especially after light rain or snow flurries, and takes comfort in the quiet of the trees and the chirping of the birds. Photography is one of her casual hobbies, and in accordance with her enjoyment of nature, her pictures mostly follow a nature quiet nature aesthetic. Though not much of a writer, Vesper occasionally dabbles in poetry - nothing flowery and superficial, mind, but simple words with intense meaning; it serves as a bit of self-expression, when she does care to deal with things. Vesper is, also, skilled in dance and gymnastics. Her flexibility and balance serve her well in these areas, and though Vesper’s two favorite (and conflicting) styles are ballet and street dancing, she can cut a rug to any beat that plays. Aside from these, Vesper isn’t an incredibly artsy person. She enjoys reading and can appreciate art and music, but doesn’t have any exceptional talent in the areas.
Vesper is, however, a big fan of television and cinema. She quite enjoys bingeing out a new series or three when life allows, and fully appreciates a good movie. She sometimes gets really… intense about the plots and pairings of her shows, but hardly lets on about it. Vesper’s interest in cinema has led her to filming a few short films, only a few minutes in length and often without actual dialogue or characters, but she wouldn’t mind creating something a little longer if given the plot and inspiration. Aside from her fictional fandoms, Vesper also enjoys nature and astronomy documentaries, and has a particular interest in stars and space.
Vesper is an avid smoker. She’s not addicted - her species negates negative effects in smoking - but she does enjoy it. However, Vesper can curb the habit in the case of children or avid non-smokers. She also drinks a bit more than she should, though she does so mostly in the confines of her own home. Vesper prefers finer flavors - wine, champagne, etc - but can easily hold down hard liquors when she likes. As far as food goes, rich and savory flavors are Vesper’s kryptonite, and she much prefers quality dishes over fast food.
Powers:
According to others in her family, Vesper is apparently capable of teleportation. However, she has not trained this power yet, and does not know the capabilities and limitations of it.
Vesper is able to turn herself both invisible and transparent, somewhat like a ghost. She can thus evade the naked eye and move through walls and the like without effort. This is consistent in both her smoke and human forms. Her clothing and the items on her person also become invisible and transparent. Vesper is able to turn both sections of her body and the entirety of it invisible and transparent, and may become invisible, transparent, or both rather than only one of these options. She is undetectable only to the natural senses, and may be seen by energy-reading vision, aura reading, etc. If she were to travel through a living being, they would feel a slight chill, and smell the faint scent of calla lilies and rain.
Species Traits:
Smoke Manipulation:
Vesper is able to manipulate both pre-existing smoke and that which she creates herself. Her range is about 50 meters in all directions. At most, she can create enough smoke to completely obscure vision in a 5 meter radius around her. However, in terms of preexisting smoke, she may manipulate however much is in her radius.
Vesper is also able to turn her own body into smoke, both in fractions and its entirety. Her clothes and the items on her person also shift. She can enter this form at any time and may maintain it for as long as she sees fit. When traveling as smoke, she moves as a single cloud. If any smoke is separated from the main cloud, it becomes regular smoke, and Vesper may return to her normal state as usual without suffering loss. If the cloud is dispersed completely, Vesper is forced to return to her human state, weakened and forced into recuperation for about an hour. The smallest the cloud can be is a concentrated area about the size of a human toddler, but may disperse to a wider area.
Because of her affiliation with smoke, Vesper is immune to the hazards of smoking tobacco. It still affects her, but nothing negative, and is actually beneficial to her overall health and state of mind.
Vesper’s smoke has no taste, and it smells slightly of calla lilies and rain, rather than wood and ash. The smoke is soft and mist-like to the touch, and it is harmless to breathe in.
Wound Restoration:
Due to the nature of Vesper’s physiology, she is able to easily regenerate her body when wounded. It is a combination of her ability to turn her body into smoke, as well as her ability to create and manipulate smoke. It takes very little time for Vesper to regenerate her body. Also, due to the nature of this power, Vesper is immortal, and will stop aging between now and her mid-twenties. The exceptions to this power feature are below...
Weakness to Fire:
Vesper’s biggest weakness is to fire. Her human form burns very, very easily, similar to paper, and catches instantly when exposed to flames. If even a single hair catches, the flames spread very quickly, and they must be put out with magically or with water (or a fire extinguisher, etc) quickly, lest they completely consume her. She cannot turn into smoke when lit on fire. Injuries caused by fire cannot be healed with her smoke restoration, and must be healed with an outside magical source or by lengthy, natural means. The only way to kill Vesper revolves around fire: she must me charmed and unable to leave her human form. Then, she must be burned completely. Otherwise, she will survive and be able to regenerate, however slowly this occurs.
Vesper is able to manipulate both pre-existing smoke and that which she creates herself. Her range is about 50 meters in all directions. At most, she can create enough smoke to completely obscure vision in a 5 meter radius around her. However, in terms of preexisting smoke, she may manipulate however much is in her radius.
Vesper is also able to turn her own body into smoke, both in fractions and its entirety. Her clothes and the items on her person also shift. She can enter this form at any time and may maintain it for as long as she sees fit. When traveling as smoke, she moves as a single cloud. If any smoke is separated from the main cloud, it becomes regular smoke, and Vesper may return to her normal state as usual without suffering loss. If the cloud is dispersed completely, Vesper is forced to return to her human state, weakened and forced into recuperation for about an hour. The smallest the cloud can be is a concentrated area about the size of a human toddler, but may disperse to a wider area.
Because of her affiliation with smoke, Vesper is immune to the hazards of smoking tobacco. It still affects her, but nothing negative, and is actually beneficial to her overall health and state of mind.
Vesper’s smoke has no taste, and it smells slightly of calla lilies and rain, rather than wood and ash. The smoke is soft and mist-like to the touch, and it is harmless to breathe in.
Wound Restoration:
Due to the nature of Vesper’s physiology, she is able to easily regenerate her body when wounded. It is a combination of her ability to turn her body into smoke, as well as her ability to create and manipulate smoke. It takes very little time for Vesper to regenerate her body. Also, due to the nature of this power, Vesper is immortal, and will stop aging between now and her mid-twenties. The exceptions to this power feature are below...
Weakness to Fire:
Vesper’s biggest weakness is to fire. Her human form burns very, very easily, similar to paper, and catches instantly when exposed to flames. If even a single hair catches, the flames spread very quickly, and they must be put out with magically or with water (or a fire extinguisher, etc) quickly, lest they completely consume her. She cannot turn into smoke when lit on fire. Injuries caused by fire cannot be healed with her smoke restoration, and must be healed with an outside magical source or by lengthy, natural means. The only way to kill Vesper revolves around fire: she must me charmed and unable to leave her human form. Then, she must be burned completely. Otherwise, she will survive and be able to regenerate, however slowly this occurs.
History:
Child Abuse/Neglect, Domestic Abuse, Implied Non-Con, Alcoholism
Grade 3; Age 9…
“Mommy, guess what?
“Guess what, Mommy?
“Mommy－”
“What?”
“I got in trouble today.”
“That’s nice, dear.”
“I punched Calvin Harmon in the nose.
“It started bleeding.
“Mommy－”
“Mommy’s working.”
“You’re just on the phone with Noa－”
“－aaan of your business. Vess! Now what is it?”
“I… You didn’t hear my story?”
“Mommy is wo－”
“Fine. I just need you to sign a slip.”
“Go ask Daddy.”
“Okay.”
• • • • • •
“Momm-”
“I said go find Daddy!”
“He’s sleeping in his chair again.”
“And? Go wake him up!”
“I can’t.”
• • • • • •
05-15-07
Mommy won’t stop crying.
She says he only drank because of my fights.
But I only fight because of her.
I think she’s lying. She’s good at that.
But she’s sad, and angry, and so am I.
I don’t care why Daddy drank.
I just wanted them to see me.
I just wanted them to love me.
•
•
•
•
•
Grade 8; Age 14…
“Mom, I got into a fight again.”
“Yes, yes. Your principal called.”
“I broke his arm…
“In two places.”
“So I heard.”
“I got expelled again.”
“I know.”
“...So?”
“So what?”
“So… So aren’t you going to… Mom, please, say something! I don’t know what to－”
“How many times?”
“What?”
“How many times has this happened?”
“This is… my second time… that I’ve been kicked out…”
“Correction. This is your third.”
“What? No… I’m sure it’s my secon－”
“You’re a f*king disgrace, Vesper. You killed your father, you broke a boy’s arm, you got expelled... Oh, don’t you look so innocent! I found the whiskey under your bed! I found all the shit you’ve lifted!”
“Mom－”
“Don’t say that word to me! Get out of my house. You’re going to live with your uncle, I’ve already made the arrangements. Fucking rat, you’re lucky you’re not going to jail－
“－Get your hands off of me! I never wanted you! I wanted your daddy and you took him too, just like everything else!
“Wipe the fake tears off your face. I’ve packed your things. Your uncle will be here in three days for you. Until then? Get out of my sight.”
• • • • • •
04/21/12
Mom’s dad was like mine. He drank. But he wasn’t nice when he did it. He wasn’t nice to his kids.
He hurt them in ways I don’t really understand.
Mom, she turned out loud. And she hits, sometimes. She seeks out bad men and bad decisions. Too used to the fight to let it go.
But I heard my uncle turned out worse. He’s like their dad, but smarter. Smart enough for the business world, smart enough to make a fortune and then some.
Smart enough to get away with things.
It’s a vicious f*kin’ cycle, don’t you think?
• • • • • •
I just wanted her to love me.
But I’m getting tired of loving her, and she’s getting tired of me wanting to.
•
•
•
•
•
Grade 11; Age 16…
“Jesus, Vess. Fight again?”
“Yeah. It’s just some bruises, don’t worry; I kicked their ass.”
“Yeah? Who was it?”
“Oh, you know… someone…”
“That’s… really vague－”
“Drop it, okay? Let’s just get our food…”
“Yeah, sure… You look awfully tired, though. Sure you’re okay?”
“Up late, watching a movie.”
“With your uncle, right?”
“Riv, what－”
“I’m not an idiot, Vesper. I’ve known you since you moved here, and I know what’s going on. He’s－”
“God, would you just shut up with that? You’re literally so wrong, it’s funny. Stop analyzing everyone. Hell, last week you thought Damien was an alcoholic!”
“Well, he was－”
“－sleep deprived from his 4 AP classes and on new medication! You need to chill out. Not everyone needs saving… okay?”
“Okay… Ves?”
“What?”
“Just… promise you’ll talk to me if anything ever does happen, though, okay?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever, Riv. Can we get our tacos now? It’s too cold to be standing around…”
• • • • • •
11/28/14
I lied to River again, today. I’m getting good at that. Like mother, like daughter, right?
Sometimes I even fool myself.
I wasn’t up watching a movie last night, that was a lie. And I’m not going to tell River anything, best friend or not. There’s nothing she can do. There’s nothing I’d want her to do. I can handle myself these days.
At home, no one notices if a bottle or three go missing. They just get replaced by the help.
And no one minds the smell of smoke - we’re Enenra. So what if that smoke smells like poison instead of rain?
I stopped shoplifting. I’ve got everything I want, and it’s lost it’s thrill, anyway. Too easy.
Been fighting less, too; that was another lie. I get enough of that at home, and the bruises stack. Still haven’t figured out how to regenerate.
Actually, I’m really starting to get a hang of my impulses. It’s become easier to control myself, my facial expressions and verbal cues. I think it’s a lot to do with my circumstances. With the practice.
You know, I still get my clothes on clearance racks. I live in a house with eight bedrooms and a dining room the size of a gymnasium, but I still shop on clearance. I want to save every penny I get my hands on, so I’ll have something when I finally leave.
Because I’m going to leave eventually. It’s just a matter of when.
And when I go, I’m taking a fair piece of compensation with me. I’ve been siphoning - just a little bit, here and there. Things he doesn’t notice when he checks his accounts. But I’m getting away with it.
I’m getting away with a lot these days.
Manipulation. Sneaking. Lying. Stealing.
Her traits. His. Theirs.
I think I’m becoming like them…
But I don’t want to. I don’t want to be like them.
Remember what I said about those cycles?
• • • • • •
My uncle loves me, but not in the good way. Not in the right way.
Honestly? I don’t think I want to be loved anymore.
•
•
•
•
•
•
Grade 12; Age 18…
“I’m getting tired of this same old fight, Vesper.”
“Then stop. Stop fighting. There’s no argument to be made anymore.
“I’m getting tired of being your toy! You broke me, now throw me out into the street, just like she did!”
“You know I can never let you go.”
“Then I’ll cut off your f*king hands.”
“Ves－ Vesper! Where do you think you’re going?!”
“Leaving! I’m 18; I can do whatever the hell I want!”
“Don’t you da－”
“Touch me again and I’ll kill you! I’m leaving, right now, and don’t you try to stop me. One wrong step and I’ll call the police.”
“And what? You can’t prove anything.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I’m leaving－”
“－if you walk out that door－”
“－and I’m never, ever, coming back. May you rot in hell for all you’ve done to me.”
• • • • • •
02/05/16
He was right, of course, to call my bluff.
But he called the wrong one.
The police showed up at his door less than ten minutes after I walked through it. I met them outside.
Long story short, they got him.
The women - the girls - the embezzlement, the blackmail. The abuse. I had pictures, videos, documents with his signature. He kept his paper trails tidy, minimal, but not so much that I didn’t make copies before they vanished.
Alcohol was never the only thing he overlooked.
And I got everything. Everything. Since only weeks from the day I first came to him, I kept track of everything, waiting for the time I could finally strike him back.
And they got him. For everything, or as much as I could prove. They got him for life.
That…
That was my present on my eighteenth birthday. His look of horror, and every penny that was already under my name.
He’d given me thousands. Thousands and thousands.
Enough for college. Enough for expenses. Between four years of allowance and my siphoning in secret, I saved a little fortune of my own.
• • • • • •
I think I’ll get myself a quiet apartment somewhere.
Just a temporary thing, while I finish up school.
I got a full ride to our state university… and, actually, a few others, too.
But…
I got a letter, too. In the mail. It’s a school, Academy really, for “people like me.”
And I think I’ll go there instead.
• • • • • •
I love the winter. I love the forests. I love the rain, and the quiet, and the smell of faint candles burning by my bedside. I love the wind and the stars. I love soft things.
I love freedom, and freedom loves me.
Grade 3; Age 9…
“Mommy, guess what?
“Guess what, Mommy?
“Mommy－”
“What?”
“I got in trouble today.”
“That’s nice, dear.”
“I punched Calvin Harmon in the nose.
“It started bleeding.
“Mommy－”
“Mommy’s working.”
“You’re just on the phone with Noa－”
“－aaan of your business. Vess! Now what is it?”
“I… You didn’t hear my story?”
“Mommy is wo－”
“Fine. I just need you to sign a slip.”
“Go ask Daddy.”
“Okay.”
• • • • • •
“Momm-”
“I said go find Daddy!”
“He’s sleeping in his chair again.”
“And? Go wake him up!”
“I can’t.”
• • • • • •
05-15-07
Mommy won’t stop crying.
She says he only drank because of my fights.
But I only fight because of her.
I think she’s lying. She’s good at that.
But she’s sad, and angry, and so am I.
I don’t care why Daddy drank.
I just wanted them to see me.
I just wanted them to love me.
•
•
•
•
•
Grade 8; Age 14…
“Mom, I got into a fight again.”
“Yes, yes. Your principal called.”
“I broke his arm…
“In two places.”
“So I heard.”
“I got expelled again.”
“I know.”
“...So?”
“So what?”
“So… So aren’t you going to… Mom, please, say something! I don’t know what to－”
“How many times?”
“What?”
“How many times has this happened?”
“This is… my second time… that I’ve been kicked out…”
“Correction. This is your third.”
“What? No… I’m sure it’s my secon－”
“You’re a f*king disgrace, Vesper. You killed your father, you broke a boy’s arm, you got expelled... Oh, don’t you look so innocent! I found the whiskey under your bed! I found all the shit you’ve lifted!”
“Mom－”
“Don’t say that word to me! Get out of my house. You’re going to live with your uncle, I’ve already made the arrangements. Fucking rat, you’re lucky you’re not going to jail－
“－Get your hands off of me! I never wanted you! I wanted your daddy and you took him too, just like everything else!
“Wipe the fake tears off your face. I’ve packed your things. Your uncle will be here in three days for you. Until then? Get out of my sight.”
• • • • • •
04/21/12
Mom’s dad was like mine. He drank. But he wasn’t nice when he did it. He wasn’t nice to his kids.
He hurt them in ways I don’t really understand.
Mom, she turned out loud. And she hits, sometimes. She seeks out bad men and bad decisions. Too used to the fight to let it go.
But I heard my uncle turned out worse. He’s like their dad, but smarter. Smart enough for the business world, smart enough to make a fortune and then some.
Smart enough to get away with things.
It’s a vicious f*kin’ cycle, don’t you think?
• • • • • •
I just wanted her to love me.
But I’m getting tired of loving her, and she’s getting tired of me wanting to.
•
•
•
•
•
Grade 11; Age 16…
“Jesus, Vess. Fight again?”
“Yeah. It’s just some bruises, don’t worry; I kicked their ass.”
“Yeah? Who was it?”
“Oh, you know… someone…”
“That’s… really vague－”
“Drop it, okay? Let’s just get our food…”
“Yeah, sure… You look awfully tired, though. Sure you’re okay?”
“Up late, watching a movie.”
“With your uncle, right?”
“Riv, what－”
“I’m not an idiot, Vesper. I’ve known you since you moved here, and I know what’s going on. He’s－”
“God, would you just shut up with that? You’re literally so wrong, it’s funny. Stop analyzing everyone. Hell, last week you thought Damien was an alcoholic!”
“Well, he was－”
“－sleep deprived from his 4 AP classes and on new medication! You need to chill out. Not everyone needs saving… okay?”
“Okay… Ves?”
“What?”
“Just… promise you’ll talk to me if anything ever does happen, though, okay?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever, Riv. Can we get our tacos now? It’s too cold to be standing around…”
• • • • • •
11/28/14
I lied to River again, today. I’m getting good at that. Like mother, like daughter, right?
Sometimes I even fool myself.
I wasn’t up watching a movie last night, that was a lie. And I’m not going to tell River anything, best friend or not. There’s nothing she can do. There’s nothing I’d want her to do. I can handle myself these days.
At home, no one notices if a bottle or three go missing. They just get replaced by the help.
And no one minds the smell of smoke - we’re Enenra. So what if that smoke smells like poison instead of rain?
I stopped shoplifting. I’ve got everything I want, and it’s lost it’s thrill, anyway. Too easy.
Been fighting less, too; that was another lie. I get enough of that at home, and the bruises stack. Still haven’t figured out how to regenerate.
Actually, I’m really starting to get a hang of my impulses. It’s become easier to control myself, my facial expressions and verbal cues. I think it’s a lot to do with my circumstances. With the practice.
You know, I still get my clothes on clearance racks. I live in a house with eight bedrooms and a dining room the size of a gymnasium, but I still shop on clearance. I want to save every penny I get my hands on, so I’ll have something when I finally leave.
Because I’m going to leave eventually. It’s just a matter of when.
And when I go, I’m taking a fair piece of compensation with me. I’ve been siphoning - just a little bit, here and there. Things he doesn’t notice when he checks his accounts. But I’m getting away with it.
I’m getting away with a lot these days.
Manipulation. Sneaking. Lying. Stealing.
Her traits. His. Theirs.
I think I’m becoming like them…
But I don’t want to. I don’t want to be like them.
Remember what I said about those cycles?
• • • • • •
My uncle loves me, but not in the good way. Not in the right way.
Honestly? I don’t think I want to be loved anymore.
•
•
•
•
•
•
Grade 12; Age 18…
“I’m getting tired of this same old fight, Vesper.”
“Then stop. Stop fighting. There’s no argument to be made anymore.
“I’m getting tired of being your toy! You broke me, now throw me out into the street, just like she did!”
“You know I can never let you go.”
“Then I’ll cut off your f*king hands.”
“Ves－ Vesper! Where do you think you’re going?!”
“Leaving! I’m 18; I can do whatever the hell I want!”
“Don’t you da－”
“Touch me again and I’ll kill you! I’m leaving, right now, and don’t you try to stop me. One wrong step and I’ll call the police.”
“And what? You can’t prove anything.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I’m leaving－”
“－if you walk out that door－”
“－and I’m never, ever, coming back. May you rot in hell for all you’ve done to me.”
• • • • • •
02/05/16
He was right, of course, to call my bluff.
But he called the wrong one.
The police showed up at his door less than ten minutes after I walked through it. I met them outside.
Long story short, they got him.
The women - the girls - the embezzlement, the blackmail. The abuse. I had pictures, videos, documents with his signature. He kept his paper trails tidy, minimal, but not so much that I didn’t make copies before they vanished.
Alcohol was never the only thing he overlooked.
And I got everything. Everything. Since only weeks from the day I first came to him, I kept track of everything, waiting for the time I could finally strike him back.
And they got him. For everything, or as much as I could prove. They got him for life.
That…
That was my present on my eighteenth birthday. His look of horror, and every penny that was already under my name.
He’d given me thousands. Thousands and thousands.
Enough for college. Enough for expenses. Between four years of allowance and my siphoning in secret, I saved a little fortune of my own.
• • • • • •
I think I’ll get myself a quiet apartment somewhere.
Just a temporary thing, while I finish up school.
I got a full ride to our state university… and, actually, a few others, too.
But…
I got a letter, too. In the mail. It’s a school, Academy really, for “people like me.”
And I think I’ll go there instead.
• • • • • •
I love the winter. I love the forests. I love the rain, and the quiet, and the smell of faint candles burning by my bedside. I love the wind and the stars. I love soft things.
I love freedom, and freedom loves me.
Additional Information:
* Vesper has a strong inclination towards maths and physics and, though excelling in most academic areas, these are her strong suits. However, with her knack for strategy and a couple well-placed comments from cops after her uncle was apprehended, Vesper is entertaining the idea of studying in the investigative and criminal mentality areas. She may even enter into the police academy.
Name Pronunciation: Vehs-pur Gay-lin Gray
