If I Sing to the Rain, Would the Clouds Break?

Trahnael

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It was not funny how Lochlann was acting so funny while Adelene was feeling so guilty and worried. She went to him quickly, helping him up after he did the worm thing, which was really weird in a sense, and tried pulling him back to bed. She was wearing shorts as usual, so there would be no lewd views anytime soon.

"You took some tranquilizers, you better sleep!" she insisted. He was heavy though, really heavy, she needed him to stop being stubborn. "If you really want some pizza I'll order them for us but just rest okay?"

She sniffed. She needed to wipe those tears soon, before they escape her eyes and Loch notices. Her vision was not very good with them blurring her eyes. "This isn't funny, Lochlann. Go to bed!" She was trying to drag him back, but it was harder than she thought.
@"ReD"
 

ReD

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"You took some tranquilizers, you better sleep!" "If you really want some pizza I'll order them for us but just rest okay?"

It was good that he was so high, because it made him pliable. He followed Addy back to the bed, stumbling a few times before he finally crashed face-first onto the mattress and laid there for a few minutes.

When he realized where he was again, he rolled over and looked up at her.

"This isn't funny, Lochlann. Go to bed!"
"You know..you know what is funny?" Lochlann asked. He couldn't remember what was funny, so he reached up to the belt loops on her shorts and tugged, trying to encourage her to come with him.

"Come...come lay with me," he slurred. "I want to make you feel better."
 

Trahnael

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Adelene was right beside the bed when they reached it. Nothing was funny. She was already trying so hard not to sob but...

Lochlann suddenly tugged on her belt. Caught off guard, she was easily pulled in, and she had to support her weight on his chest or else she'd fall on him and some more awkward situations might happen next.

But at this point, only her tears fell to his cheeks. Just a couple of drops. And her hands were still on his chest. She wasn't crying, but the tears had formed so...

She sniffed again. "I don't need to feel better. Now let me go so I can order pizza."
@"ReD"
 

ReD

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"I don't need to feel better. Now let me go so I can order pizza."

"Yes you do," Lochlann said, reaching his hand up to brush her tears away. "Look, you're leaking."

He didn't let go of her, both because he lacked the motor control to do that and talk at the same time, and because he was still really worried. "Addy come on, come here and tell me what's wrong. I'm not gonna make it much longer, but I don't want to go until I know you're okay. Please?"

His heart was so slow and his eyelids felt like they were made out of bricks, but he was clinging to her desperately. Part of him wanted to ask her, right now, if she was absolutely certain she didn't remember kissing him, and then he'd ask her if she wanted to try again just to know what it felt like.

He tried to get a grip but his thoughts were sliding like sand between his fingers.
 

Trahnael

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She heaved a long sigh. It was a little shaky, but she didn't seem very fazed about it. Even as he brushed her eyes, she didn't seem like she was noticing it.

"Fine," she said, voice slightly sharp and lower. "I'll stay until you fall asleep." It wasn't like she had a choice, he was grabbing on her and wouldn't let go.

So she pulled away to get in the bed, pushing Lochlann towards the wall so she can stay on this other side and be able to leave easier once she had to.

She was feeling really bad, still scared, still worried, still anxious, still guilty. But Lochlann was by her side when she got sick, maybe staying to keep him company at a time like this was going to make her feel better.

She was still angry about the overdose though.

She lied down beside him, reaching up to stroke him gently on the head and get him to sleep faster. Fighting tranquilizers might only make him feel groggy when he wakes up.

"Alright, I'm here. Now sleep."
@"ReD"
 

ReD

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"Fine," "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

Lochlann visibly relaxed. He was surprisingly easy to move towards the wall and he adjusted so that when she laid down next to him, he could slide one arm over her body possessively.

"Thank you," he murmured.

Her voice still sounded stressed, and now Lochlann reached out to brush her hair back away from her face. Her fingers in his hair was making him even harder to find this. He should be dropped to his feet by now.

"Alright, I'm here. Now sleep."

"Mmmm....why don't you tell me what's wrong first, angel?" he slurred. His mouth was on her lips and his thoughts were on how he could kiss her again, and how he shouldn't want to do that. He forced that feeling down and then thought that he should probably take something for that...though of course he already had.

Quietly, he said, "I don't like when you're upset. It makes me feel useless."
 

Trahnael

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Adelene felt arms around her and for some reason, they felt different than usual, and she had to put her hands between them or they'd probably end up kissing.

Lochlann's lips were almost brushing against hers, it actually felt like she wanted to close in... But she was afraid of what would happen if she did it. She's already dreamt of kissing him, doing it for real was probably already too much.

There was no way Lochlann liked her more than a friend anyway. He's hit on her but that was when he was delirious.

"Nothing's wrong with me," she whispered back. Their breaths were mixing together, Loch smelled like whiskey while she smelled like coffee. Her eyes were unconsciously on Lochlann's lips...

And then Lochlann said he felt useless. She frowned, looking up at him in the eyes, hushing him as she reached to pet him again. "Shhh... You're not useless. You're a really good friend and you know I love you. And that's why I'm upset. I'm just scared you're doing bad things to yourself that would end up making you suffer. I'm just scared. People I care for... always end up leaving me. Even Seth became a whole different person..."

She closed her eyes. The thought was indeed scary, and she didn't want Lochlann to leave her alone too. Not after she's made her open up to him fully.
@"ReD"
 

ReD

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Her hands were between them, keeping him at a safe distance, but Lochlann didn't care because she was close enough that he could just enjoy the warmth of her body.

"Nothing's wrong with me,"

She was frowning and looking into his eyes, and he leaned closer yet so their foreheads were touching while she was stroking her hair. He was fever hot, but it was just a side effect of the sedatives, or so he though.

"Shhh... You're not useless. You're a really good friend and you know I love you. And that's why I'm upset. I'm just scared you're doing bad things to yourself that would end up making you suffer. I'm just scared. People I care for... always end up leaving me. Even Seth became a whole different person..."

She loved him?

Lochlann closed his eyes because he wished she meant it the way he meant it. He wasn't sure if what he felt for her was love or lust or just that he wanted her because he couldn't have her, but the idea of anything happening to her, of her hurting, it tore him apart.

And he knew that, if he loved her, he'd be the one hurting her.

"I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you, Addy," Lochlann said. His hand was in the small of her back and his fingers traced patterns there absentmindedly. "I don't want to leave you. I like being with you. I'm just not a good person, and sometimes that scares me."

Could he tell her?

"I'm a monster."'

He closed his eyes, his breath stopping, and his heart was lagging so slowly. It was actually starting to hurt.

"Anything I do to myself, I deserve, but I wouldn't...I won't kill myself, Addy. I like living too much. I like being with you too much, even if I don't deserve it."
 

Trahnael

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Hurt her? Why would Lochlann hurt her? Adelene furrowed her brows and gave him a confused stare.

"There you go again. Just like in that small shed before. Telling me you'd hurt me."

She sighed, tilting her head up to kiss his nose affectionately. And also to stop him from saying hateful things to himself.

"You're not a monster." She was firm on that. "We're students in Starlight, I don't expect you to be a normal human, but whatever you are, I know you're not a bad person. You're not a monster." Her voice was cracking again, and she was feeling like some tears were going to well up from her chest again.

"I like being with you, too, Loch. Don't say that you don't deserve this... You don't, and I'd always need you around."

What was she saying? She was saying things she won't normally admit, despite being entirely true...

She cleared her throat and tries to smile. "Hush now, I'll be right here, so you better sleep."
@"ReD"
 

ReD

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"There you go again. Just like in that small shed before. Telling me you'd hurt me."

She kissed him on the nose and Lochlann wished he was quicker, because he wanted to have caught her lips with his.

He closed his eyes. His breath was coming slower, and each intake to talk almost hurt. It required too much energy, too much willpower.

"You're not a monster." She was firm on that. "We're students in Starlight, I don't expect you to be a normal human, but whatever you are, I know you're not a bad person. You're not a monster."

His voice was really quiet when he said, "I wish I believed that Addy. I've done things you don't know about, things that I don't want you to know about."

He rolled onto his back because if he faced her any longer, he was going to kiss her. He couldn't stand knowing that it'd happened once and could never happen again, especially when he spent every waking moment thinking about it.

"I like being with you, too, Loch. Don't say that you don't deserve this... You don't, and I'd always need you around."


Lochlann pulled her closer to him again so she was nestled up against his side. Touching her made him feel better and he hated that part of him right now. He hated that he couldn't just stifle these thoughts and feelings, he hated that he couldn't stop picking at the thought in his head like an open wound.

What if he kissed her?

"Hush now, I'll be right here, so you better sleep."

"Addy," he asked, his voice softer yet. "I wish you dreamed about kissing me more often."

He was so quiet now. He might have been asleep, or he might have been waiting to hear what she had to say. Lochlann wasn't certain himself.