I don't care what you think as long as it's about me

Lochlann didn't want to explain any further on the human meat eating shop. It made him nervous to think about it for too long, especially the part that revolted him the most: the shop had smelled really, really good.

He'd avoided really eating for two days after that.


Lochlann was okay at child's pose. He struggled a little bit at first at Cobra, but when he opened up his chest and tilted his head back, he found his body moved easier.

Lochlann was a little embarrassed when they got to downward dog because he watched her moved first, and he was looking at her butt the entire time, and thinking of another position that had dog in the title.

He was working very, very hard to keep his eyes level and his breathing even, but otherwise, this wasn't so bad.

He might actually be enjoying this.

"I think okay," he said. "Sometimes, I don't feel what I'm supposed to be stretching, but I definitely feel it on this one."

Since he was on his hands and feet, his dark hair fell over his eyes and his shirt had ridden up a bit, exposing part of his back and sides. His amulet was over his head and touching the floor; he was peering at her from beyond the chain with a bemused expression on his face.

He was one more pose away from taking his shirt off. He was surprised how hot he was getting from just stretching. The bandages on his hand felt slick.

By trying hard to not think about trying hard to relax, Lochlann somehow tried twice as hard as he was before. He ended up holding his breath, and then realizing it and gasping, then stifling a laugh as they stood back up. He slipped his amulet back into his shirt and enjoyed mountain pose. He followed her breathing and was surprised to realize that his back didn't hurt.

It's not that Lochlann ever consciously thought of his back hurting, but it was something he didn't notice until the absence of tension in his back and shoulders was gone. It was loosened.

"Oh," he tilted his head to the side. Then, he realized she'd complimented him, and he grinned. "Thank you."

He followed her lead and rolled up the mat, then hesitated, unsure if he should join her on the couch. It seemed rude not to, but it seemed awkward to stand away. He settled for grabbing his coffee and sinking onto the floor next to her, his shoulder up against her knee.

“That was fun,” he said. He tilted his head back and looked up at her.

“Thank you for showing me,” he said. “I feel um…”

He laughed. He wasn't sure why.

“Looser. My shoulders feel better, and so does my leg," he said. Lochlann had a bad habit of slouching. "How did you start with yoga? was this for gymnastics?"

Cat's fingers brushed into his hair and Lochlann turned to putty. His eyes drooped and the breathing that he'd had trouble with before now came easy. He was fixated on the sensation of her fingers and he admired that they felt strong, which was a weird thought to have about fingers, but Lochlann imagined they must be from the painting, yoga, and writing.

"Maybe I will try it some more," Lochlann said. He liked this idea of control over his body. He felt like he had so little of it lately that this idea that there was something he could do appealed to him.

"I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to be a pretzel," he laughed. "But this wasn't so bad. It reminds me a little bit of how it feels after a really good swim. A non horsey swim."

He added the last part on to demonstrate that his mind had not yet gone to a horsey thought, even though he could remember the curve of her butt when she bent over very clearly when he thought about yoga now.

Her fingers left his hair and returned to her coffee, and Lochlann took the opportunity to pick up his own to steal a sip. He took in what she told him with surprise.

"Since you were a toddler?" Lochlann said. "Wow."

So her dad had suggested gymnastics after her mom taught her yoga. He stored these details in his mind. He never got to meet anyone's parents under pleasant circumstances, but her parents sounded very much like pleasant people.

He twirled the chain of his amulet around his finger for a moment.

"So you can turn yourself into a pretzel then?" he asked. "What is the hardest thing to do in yoga? how do you....ummm...win? I don't know what word to pick to describe it."

"You're probably right," Lochlann said, but realized he should have dropped the probably. He was willing to bet she was right.

Lochlann considered this. Yoga at night to help him sleep? That seemed like a plan.

"Do you have less intense dreams after yoga?" he asked. He mirrored her and took another sip of his coffee as well, then set it back down on the floor.

After two meetings of being in the spotlight, Lochlann was enjoying being able to learn more about her. He'd liked that she'd shared yoga with him, and he liked it even more now that he knew how personal it was to her.

Lochlann laughed at her comment about the flailing cat, but he took another sip of his coffee a second afterwards.

"Horsey thought," he confessed. "Tell me more about yoga."

The flailing had turned into what it might be like to watch her swim and that sent a sudden, sharp pain of hunger through Lochlann's gut. He'd been eating even less since the butcher shop. He didn't want to be eating while he was thinking about Cat, and he'd been thinking about her a lot.

"Do you still do this every morning?" he asked, though he felt like she'd already explained that she had, so he paused for a moment. "I mean that routine that you just took us through. Is it the same? Or do you do different ones?"

He decided that, since he'd had a horsey thought, Lochlann would not ask her to show him one of the pretzel things. That might be dangerous.

Knowing that there was no opportunity at winning made him laugh for some reason.

"So then the only one you're competing with is yourself?" he reaffirmed. He liked the sound of that. She tucked her toes between the cushions and Lochlann shifted so he wasn't pressed up right next to her, giving her some space.

"What's tandem?" he asked. He understood it involved two people if she needed her brother for it, and the mention of being dropped had his interest peaked. He understood all too well the idea of dropping someone on purpose, though. He thought back to Lawrence and gave her a sympathetic smile and shrugged his shoulders as if to indicate, siblings, what can you do.

He fingered his necklace again.

"Did you ever teach yoga if you've been doing it so long? like you just did with me now, but with other people?"

"I would like that," Lochlann said. He didn't want to explain his complicated relationship with sleep, only that he liked the idea that this could help him. "If it makes waking up easier that's good for me."

He anticipated a bad reaction at his confession of a horsey thought, which is why he was so quick to change the subject, but it made him feel guilty when she apologized.

"It's not your fault," he told her. "I don't know what makes my head go the places it does."

But he fell into the talk of yoga easily and pushed everything from is mind except that faint tickling of hunger that kept tickling the back of his throat just when he thought he was ignoring it completely.

"You're able to stay that still when you're so stressed?" Lochlann asked. It didn't sound silly to him--actually, he sounded like he was impressed. Lochlann was all anxious, jerky movements when he was stressed. He was a pacer. The idea of being stationary was almost a foreign concept without some chemical help.

Lochlann did his best to get his mind around the idea of self-reflection, but that was something he strictly avoided at almost all costs. It led into self-pity and pacing. Instead, he said, "It sounds like I'll have to try it until I understand better."

As for tandem, Lochlann considered this. He took in everything she said and understood, or at least made to understand, why it would be difficult. Naturally, he thought about sex, and how the best sex he'd had was with a partner who moved like she was dancing with him.

Her fingers were in his hair again and Lochlann was surprised they brushed away the lewd thoughts. This time, his eyes did droop completely closed for a moment.

His voice was quiet when he confessed, "I like that."

He was picturing what it must like to meet up with other yogis. He wondered if she did it in the mountains, with waterfalls, but that was just dramatic. He just liked the idea of it being dramatic.

"You were good," he told her, and then he opened his eyes back up and grinned at her. 'If you decide to be a teacher I will be very helpful. I will spread great rumors about your flexibility and convince all to attend to achieve your mastery of limberness."

He reached for his coffee but left it where it was because he didn't want to pull his head away to drink it. He preferred the feel of her fingers against him.

"Did your brother do gymnastics with you, too?" he asked her. He liked this, learning about her, without the subject flicking down dark alleys or to the bottom of a lake. He had an unexpected pang in his temple but it disappeared under his touch. He didn't pay attention to what that little bit of pain might be trying to signal to him. The sun was still out. It was beautiful for a winter day.

"I cannot imagine trying to get any of my family to try yoga with me," he said, and then he took that back. "Actually Lawrence might like it but he'd never admit it in a thousand years or do it anywhere anyone could see."