Happy Birthday dear Emily

When she told him that she didn't want to get hurt, Lochlann was touched. It showed on his face. He was much more emotive when he hadn't numbed himself and, with no one watching, Lochlann didn't bother to control his expressions like he usually did.

"Thank you, Emily," he said, and he reached over and gave her knee a gentle squeeze.

He nodded towards her assessment about needing more time, but let her know that he was always available to help so long as he was on the island. Lochlann wished he could offer to help if he was off the island, too, but he wasn't sure how possible it would be to contact him.

When she offered to help, Lochlann considered it. She seemed worried about the intimate part so that in turn made him worried.

"Can you elaborate on intimate if you're comfortable?" Lochlann asked. "I'm surprisingly okay with a fair deal of intimacy. But I'm trying to keep our friendship away from a more romantic nature and that's always hard for me, so if I have to like...get naked or anything I think I'll pass."

He winked at her and smiled, hoping she wasn't embarrassed by his candidness.

Lochlann considered this.

It would certainly help him, but it seemed like it'd help her a lot, too. But he felt that he couldn't agree to it unless he gave Emily some kind of warning.

"Do we get to uh...pick what memories?" Lochlann asked.

He wondered how he should explain this and he finally said, "I know there are rumors about me and various women on campus, and some of them are true."

But the more he thought about it, the more he thought it would help. However, he was worried that, even if he didn't have to undress for her, Emily might end up seeing him naked after all.

"I'm also worried you might think differently of me, but I have to admit, I'm intrigued by the idea," Lochlann said.

Lochlann was relieved that he could decide what they saw.

Despite his comfort in letting other people take charge of situations, Lochlann did have some issues with feeling that things were out of control. He had no interest in letting Emily see all the things he did. For some reason, Lochlann was reassured that someone might think he wasn’t a horrible person.

“Well, hopefully we can avoid having you see some of the things that inspired those rumors,” Lochlann said. He was trying to keep his voice light but he sounded serious. He did smile when Emily reassured him and said, “Thank you for believing better of me.”

That meant a lot more than he could express.

Lochlann was curious about her drawing of the hanged man.

“No, I didn’t,” he said. “What does the hanged man mean?”

"Oh," Lochlann said, considering what she said about the hanged man.

There was a certain sense of logic to it. He did not know enough about tarot cards to catch all the meaning, but if Emily thought it was him, he trusted her.

"Hopefully I wasn't next to a super bad card," he told her. "I could use some luck right now."

Lochlann didn't know just how bad his future was.

He considered this. If he really thought about it, he'd probably chicken out, and so far Emily had given him the only shred of hope he had for finding any clues about Guinevere.

"No," he said. "I'm ready, let's do it now."

Lochlann was originally worried about getting into a bed with Emily, but once he was laying down next to her and she took his hand, some of his worries dissipated.

This was Emily. He would be safe. He could trust her. He gave her a smile, held her hand, and then closed his eyes.

Lochlann wasn't sure where he was at first.

It was dark, very dark. Lochlann tried to figure out where it would be if it was so dark.

The bottom of the lake, his mind filled in for him. Instead of being pressed in by water, Lochlann felt like he was just walking through a very murky room. The kelp and other aquatic plant life still drifted upwards, but Lochlann felt like he was walking through air. A koi fish swam over his head and acted as if it was floating.

"I'm here, Emily," Lochlann said, finding her by a half-submerged bell Lochlann had discovered during his first week of class.

"How did we end up here?" Lochlann asked her, looking around.