[Event] I'm Sorry Every Songs About you [Paradox]

ReD

ReD

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@"Paradox"

The sun was starting to set and as it got closer and closer to the horizon, Lochlann's anxiety grew. Things hadn't been the same since the accident, and he was starting to think he'd broken them beyond repair.

Everytime he saw her, Lochlann wanted to do nothing more than pick up the pieces and try to put them back together, but he was trying to give her his space. He wasn't sure what to say, either. She'd seen him a way no one else had. How could she ever look at him the same way again?

Lochlann was sitting outside at a cafe down town. He'd gotten his hair cut since the last time he'd seen her, and he was making every effort to say I'm okay with his body. He did look significantly better, although there was the indication of dark circles beginning to form under his eyes. Without the pills or the shots, he was having a hell of a time sleeping at night.

But he hadn't taken any since. It's not like he needed to use them, anyway and he wanted to prove to Addy that he didn't have a problem.

She was the only thing he couldn't live without.
 
Trahnael

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And she's been broken-hearted since she's learned so much about him. About his addiction, his hospitalizations, his... other activities. They all scared her, and she didn't know exactly why. All she knew was that she cared for Lochlann and she didn't know how to take those information well.

Adelene looked a little tired. She hasn't been able to sleep so well recently, either because her nightmares had come back or because she was trying to push them away by clinging to her Lamby plushy, and that only reminded her of Lochlann and what had happened in the hospital.

She's been so full of scary and worrisome thoughts. Her head's been so full of Lochlann.

And they were going to meet this afternoon. Addy honestly didn't want to go outside while Manta Carlos had stuff going on in the streets for summer, but she wanted to see Lochlann. Despite being uneasy around him, she wanted to assure herself constantly that nothing bad was going to happen to him, because that paranoia drove her crazy, and she just couldn't help but need to see him.

Her eyes wandered about as she went inside the cafe where Lochlann was. They were still a little red from all the sleepless nights and the occasional crying, and her skin's become much paler than before the air became so heavy around the two of them.

She kept looking around, but because she didn't know he's gotten a haircut, it's become slightly more difficult to spot him. She didn't see him until she decided to scan the tables closer and eventually saw his face from a shorter distance.

"Hey," she greeted, coming closer. Unlike her usual outfits, she was wearing black leggings today and a red turtle neck. She felt cold even though it was summer. She wasn't wearing her white goggles either; as much as she loved them, she didn't want them to cause her to see more things are probably rathered not knowing forever. "You got a haircut. I didn't recognize you immediately."
 
ReD

ReD

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@"Paradox"

Hey,

Relief flooded through him at the sound of her voice.

He looked up at her, and she looked…cold. Cute, too, in the black leggings and the red turtle neck, but it wasn’t exactly a summer outfit. Somehow, the clothes seemed like another barrier between them.

He stood up from the table, holding onto it for only a fraction of a second while his leg readjusted to the sudden change.

“Hey,” he said, back. He ran a hand through his hair. What the hell was he supposed to say next? Why did talking to her suddenly become so difficult?

You got a haircut. I didn't recognize you immediately."

“Ah, yeah,” Lochlann said. “I hadn’t had one in a while. I was overdue.”

Until the incident, he hadn't really looked at himself. He fell silent for a minute, eying her face, searching for…..he wasn’t sure what. Some indication that he could still savage this.

“How are you?” he finally asked.
 
Trahnael

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A smile, actually, made it to her lips quite easily, but it was small and soft and still a little tired. She sat across Lochlann. Before, staring into his eyes wasn't such a hard thing to do, but at the moment, it was like a strong force kept her from doing so. She can only manage to glance at him every now and then, but her eyes can't stay.

"I'm fine," she answered with one heavy exhale. She looked out the window towards the busy streets. "Not gonna lie, I'm a little tired. But it's no biggie. How about you?"

After that incident with them swapping bodies, the two of them haven't really been able to see each other regularly, and Adelene usually chose to stay in her apartment during most of her free time. It's become really awkward between them, and Addy blamed herself for suddenly fearing to get closer to him.

"I hope you've been taking care of yourself."
 
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Lochlann gave her a small smile back, but it was almost as strained as hers. The fact that she couldn't look him in the eye made anxiety claw at his stomach.

"I'm fine," "Not gonna lie, I'm a little tired. But it's no biggie. How about you?"

"About the same," Lochlann admitted with an equally heavy sigh. "I've been...uh...busy."

He hadn't really been that busy. Mostly he was trying to find things to pass the time at night when he should be sleeping. He'd been reading a lot, and taking a lot of walks, but it hadn't been helping.

"I hope you've been taking care of yourself."

He nodded slowly, swallowing.

"Ah yeah I haven't...I haven't taken anything since the accident," he said. He hesitated, and then pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket.

"I um...I meet with someone every two weeks, to be uh, tested," he said. The paper was his results--clean except for alcohol. He didn't know why but he wanted to prove to her that he could do this.

He ran a hand through his hair again, resting his elbow on the table and propping his head up on one hand. "Lamby misses you."

So did Lochlann.
 
Trahnael

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Lochlann brought out a paper and searching eyes followed it until Adelene took it from him and carefully opened it. She was happy with it, with what Lochlann was saying she showing. She nodded, smiling a little wider.

"Good."

She had less things to worry about, less worries. She returned the paper, letting it go on the table, but she didn't pull her hand away after that. She wanted to touch his.

"I miss Lamby too. Haven't been to your place for a couple of days but... it feels a lot longer than that, to be honest." She had wanted to go. But she was afraid she might discover something else again, and while she wanted to know Lochlann more, she was afraid she might not be able to handle more fit for now.

"I missed you too, Loch. But I didn't know if it was okay to visit you..."
 
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"Good."

She returned the paper and her hand didn't pull away, so Lochlann's fingers grazed her hand. He rested his hand on top of the paper and the very tips of his fingers were touching hers.

"I miss Lamby too. Haven't been to your place for a couple of days but... it feels a lot longer than that, to be honest."

"It does, doesn't it?" Lochlann admitted. "I feel like I slept those first three days I came home and that sort of screwed up my entire schedule."

He shook his head. Now his sleep was flighty and interrupted. He was relying on his arrangement with Chloe to give him the relief he needed.

"I missed you too, Loch. But I didn't know if it was okay to visit you..."/i]

"Well," Lochlann said, hesitating. "It was...I guess it was probably a good thing to have a few days off. I was pretty boring when I was just sleeping, and I had some paperwork to finish up. I'm gonna be moving."

He waved his hand quickly, adding, "I'll still be on the island, I'm just getting a different place. my landlord isn't too happy with me."
 
Trahnael

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She was moving her fingers absentmindedly, brushing them with Lochlann's because she wanted to, and because there was nothing else to fumble with.

The air was really awkward around them. Adelene didn't feel any freedom to speak as casually as she usually does.

When Lochlann said he was moving, Adelene looked him in the eyes, her smile fading away, before she looked out the window again and nodded. Will she still be allowed to come over? What if Lochlann was also going to move so she can't go to his place anymore? After all, he probably didn't like it when she caught him overdosing on tranquilizers, and there's also that woman Vlad that Lochlann mentioned was... a roommate or something. And she wouldn't want to walk in on them with the possibility of disturbing their... alone time.

She figured it was just her being paranoid that made her feel a little unwanted but she can't help but think of it that way. Whether it was paranoia or not though, she decided she'll just wait for Lochlann to tell her more about it on his own. She wasn't going to ask.

"Hey, are we going to stay awhile? If we are, I think I'll order some coffee first." She turned to her other side to call for a waitress for some coffee. Even though the drink was a bad idea because it always caused her to be more jittery.
 
ReD

ReD

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@"Paradox"

Lochlann finally had the courage to link his fingers with hers, holding their hands over his paper like it was an accomplishment. Of course, the second their fingers interlocked, Lochlann tensed because his mind went to the last time their fingers interlocked and he was
trappedtrappedtrapped

But he took a deep breath and didn't let go, and he forced his body to relax.

She caught his eyes and looked away and then Lochlann felt anxious again. He was moving because he was going to be staying on the island for college. He wasn't really able to make the choice--he wasn't allowed to come home, but he was hoping he'd at least be able to spend it with her here. It'd be a long four years otherwise.

"I'm um....staying for college," Lochlann admitted. His voice had a hint of hopefulness in it, but he didn't pursue it further. He hated how awkward things had become from them.

"Hey, are we going to stay awhile? If we are, I think I'll order some coffee first."

"I was thinking that maybe we could go up to the roof," Lochlann started. "There's supposed to be fireworks tonight. Unless uh...unless you didn't want to stay."
 
Trahnael

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It was as if Adelene was immediately clinging to him, when her hand was held and she also held on tight to him. The last time she held his hand like this was when they were in the hospital, and she was crying as Dr. Hart spoke words she didn't want to hear again. The doctor had forced her to go home, and for the days after that, things have become really different. Even when their bodies swapped, things didn't get better, they only became worse.

But Addy wanted this heavy air to go away. She wanted to be closer to Lochlann. And so, she held on.

At the mention of college, she perked up, her eyes turning back to him slightly wider. They had been lifeless for a few days, but the news brought back a glint in them. "C-College?" She felt a weird fluttering in her chest. Maybe the news made her feel happy.

Another smile came to her lips as she tried to guess what Lochlann would be taking. As she imagined how things would go from now, how Lochlann will become in the future once he's finished his studies. She hoped things would become a lot better.

"What are you taking? Let me guess, it's related to literature, isn't it?" she chuckled.

She's become slightly less guarded and tensed when Lochlann mentioned the roof. She just shrugged, thinking maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.

"I was thinking we could go try the stalls in the street since I... I haven't really tried having fun in a summer festival before. But the roof is okay too, we'll get to see everything from up there, right?" She hadn't known about the fireworks. But at the moment, she could only wish for it not to be another memory for disaster. "I... I don't mind either way." As long as you're okay.