the post office's reason for insurance

@"King"

There was a particular reason that Iris didn't like the sewers, and it wasn't just the stench. That much was tolerable. The problem was that it was dirty. Again, that much was tolerable, but not when combined with her spectacular clumsiness. Together, they equated to something awful.

"I should really stop dropping my hat down here," she complained, pinching her nose to hold back the stench. This was the third time in the month that her hat had accidentally fallen in an undesirable place. It was also probably the worst of them all.

Several minutes did she wander those dim, foul halls in near-complete silence, accompanied only by the sound of her own heels clacking on the stone. Here she contemplated the wisdom of wearing heels.

To be fair, it was supposed to be a not-that-busy sort of day. Also to be fair, she wasn't used to heels in the first place and wearing them was a ridiculous idea. She tripped enough without them, thank you very much. Now she was just asking for disaster.

Thankfully she made it to where her hat fell without incident. Knowing the ins and outs of the city had its perks, and as glaringly specific as this particular perk of her job was, it still had some use. She bent down at the knees to pick the hat off the ground with a dainty pair of fingers, stowing it into a plastic bag she picked up before going down.

By this time she was rather hungry, and though it hurt her to do so, she had to eat down here where it was dank and not in a good way. With a groan she walked and tried to soldier on, but she hadn't eaten since last dinner, and it was nearing lunchtime now. Iris began to regret not eating breakfast; had she done so she would have had enough energy to keep going and leave before eating.

"Well, this is my life now," she said to herself, sitting down on dry brick. The spot she'd found was surprisingly free of scent and muck, which alleviated her misgivings about staying there to eat her six chicken sandwiches. "Eating brunch in the sewers. What a life I lead."

@"King"

The shock of having her lunch stolen snapped Iris backward, her translucent wings flaring out in surprise. Then it was irritation - she had enough of an annoying start to her day with her hat falling in the sewers, and she was already eating in the sewers.

It took a second for her to realize what had happened, and another second for her to shout, "YOU COME BACK HERE WITH MY LUNCH RIGHT NOW!" In the third second she flew, going straight to top speed after the culprit, forgetting the hat that got her here in the first place.

Even if he had a head start, fifty miles an hour was nothing to scoff at and almost immediately she was right on his heels. Iris thought to accost him and run him to ground, or pin him down and reclaim her food. She went for the latter.

Accidentally.

Cursing her lack of grace in such times as she lost balance and fell, Iris began to yell, "Look out -" but was cut off by her slamming into the unidentified person. She landed right on top of him, which was exactly what she was going for anyway, though she'd have preferred a less painful way of pinning him down.

She leapt off him to snatch the sandwiches, and then let her wings fade out of view and physical existence. Dusting herself and the bag of food off, she glared at the man. Was it a man? No matter. "You know I'd have shared, right? Couldn't you, you know, have asked? I've had a bad day as it is... after my hat - WAIT, MY HAT!"

Upon realization, Iris dashed off with two hands on the bag, gripping it tight and trying not to fall while running with heels. She failed halfway.

Picking herself up, she kept walking back to her hat and turned to face the other man who tried to steal her food. "If I lose that hat I am so getting mad at you! You wouldn't like me when I'm mad."

@"King"

Her hat was gone. That was a very important hat.

Understandably, she was now very, very angry. The moment she realized that the hat was gone, she turned and let her wings manifest again, flying straight to the man who attempted to steal her food. Midflight, she let her power flow, and a purple line of light stretched out from her chest to his.

"You know, you're actually really impressive. It's not every day I meet someone who makes me mad." She landed beside him, with a taut, threatening smile and a finger on the light along her chest. It wasn't usually meant to be used in such a manner, but this was an exception.

Iris leaned in close as her voice dropped low. "That hat was my favorite. Now if you can tell me that it being lost was in no way your fault, I can let it slide... but if you can't... this light will show me where you are."

@"King"

"Stop running! STOP BEING GUILTY!" Iris yelled, giving chase. When

@"King"

"Oh, there is NO way I am going down there," Iris exclaimed. It was a very irritating thing - she liked that hat. It was her third favorite, to be exact. But despite that, she was not going down to the sewers to retrieve it, especially not on an empty stomach.

She took a bite out of a chicken sandwich and contemplated her life. Here she was, wearing her nice pair of comfy heels, a skirt, a shirt and a blazer, eating chicken in the sewers. "Life wasn't meant to be this way," she groaned, half-joking and half-serious.

Iris finished her meal with haste, not wanting to spend more time in these sewers. Then with a disappointed sigh, she raised her fingers to cut off the string - and then she had a better, more spiteful idea. The light pulsed and her lips curled into a grin, as she muttered, "You know what, how about you share my clumsiness for the next four hours?"

There was a little bit more of a spring in her step as she walked away and left the sewers to rejoin the land with daylight.