Private Finished Slumber Party!

Yuki strained to hear Gabe's response; the quiet bassy echoes of his words reverberated around the room were close to overpowering his friend's voice. His voice was meek, and Yuki could imagine them accompanied by a soft string quartet... although that'd be way too dramatic. Real life didn't have a soundtrack. Yuki saw Gabe's eyes move to his lips, but pull away. Good. As much as Yuki loved Gabe, he wanted answers right now more than anything else. So the boy took the opportunity to tuck a strand of Gabe's hair behind his ear, smiling softly.

"Don't worry. We can't always explain everything we do." Gabe was so close, so vulnerable, so open... It was all Yuki could do to stop himself from kissing Gabe himself. "Then... why were you so good to me afterward? I realise that the first time I asked you this I wasn't in the best mental state, but... now that I'm a bit more stable..." He hesitated. The memories of that night were still strongly imprinted in his mind. He wondered if he'd ever forget it. "Why me? That night, you said it was because we were friends, but... we barely knew each other. There has to be a reason that... that you're always so good to me." He looked away, turning to face the wall on the other side of the room. Good wall. At least the wall wouldn't try and cover up his answers with compliments. Or dodge the questions.

Yuki really wanted to know. He needed to feel like he was worthy of Gabe. Or else... or else he might end up going somewhere dark. And he definitely didn't want to do that. To himself, or to Gabe, or to anyone. He couldn't let his insecurities take over, or else he might screw up this relationship with Gabe. And he definitely didn't want to do that. Ever.

Yuki didn't say anything. He couldn't. How...how was this possible? Gabe was... everything Gabe was saying was exactly how Yuki felt.

The words were sweet, melodic to his ears, and yet...they made him so emotional. What was this feeling, what was it? Gabe's lips on his, the world grinding to a halt, the gentle rhythm of his and Gabe's breathing syncing up, their heartbeats aligning as they both cried. But not an ugly crying. Silent, beautiful tears. Yuki had always thought crying was an ugly thing. Shameful. Embarrassing. But now... he couldn't think of it that way anymore. It was an outpouring of the soul, the bearing of one's inner voice. 'Honne', as the Japanese called it. The deep, hidden, true sound of someone's heart. Their true thoughts. Their soul. He wanted to sing. He wanted to write. He wanted to etch this moment into the very fabric of the universe so he'd never forget. So no one would ever forget.

"I...I love you." He whispered in Japanese, knowing it was such a strong word. The kind of word you used when you wanted to get married. When you said goodbye to someone for the last time. When you said hello to your newborn child. It...it felt right. So right. Everything with Gabe felt right. He didn't know why, or how, but it just did. He knew it. He knew it deep down. Gabe was so precious to him, he never ever wanted to let him go. He didn't know if he ever could. It was dramatic, he knew, but who cared? He didn't. Yuki pressed his lips against Gabe's, making soft noises as he nibbled at Gabe's lips and wrapping his arms around Gabe's neck to pull him down over him, holding him there. Keeping the boy wrapped around him. He shut his eyes, enjoying the warmth. Enjoying this feeling. This time. This place. This atmosphere.

So the world was unfair. He could keep it locked out there. In here, it was beautiful. They could make it beautiful.

Yuki looked at Gabe, dazed. His cheeks were pink, and his breath was coming back to him in big gulps. Right. Breathing was a thing. Breathing was very much necessary for life. Taking a moment to look at Gabe's phone, he realised that it was indeed chiming. Yuki sighed, then stopped.

Gabe's arms had been around his waist. Gabe's hand had been around the small of his back. Gabe had... oh, god. If things had carried on the way they were going...

Oh god. Oh god. No way.

Yuki's face turned scarlet, and he writhed away from Gabe and rolled off the couch, scuttling across to the other end of the room, face buried in his hands. No, no, no, no, no. No way. None of that. Not happening. Not now. Yuki was barely sixteen. He probably didn't look it, either. He was saving himself. Nuh-uh. Boy or no boy, he was not going to do anything like that until marriage. Not even a passionnate make-out session was allowed. Nope.

And yet, and yet they'd been so close...

It was scary. Scary just how far he was willing to go. Scary how far he let Gabe pull him, how far he pulled himself. It was...amazing but terrifying. "Y-yeah. Check it. It could be important." He mumbled, curling up into a tiny ball. Tonight was a sleepover. Not a sleep-together-over. He busily began setting up the Switch to the TV and avoiding Gabe's eyes, face still scarlet. He needed something to do. Something to distract him. Or else his thoughts would go back to making out. And he didn't want to do that.

Yuki cringed. Gabe was calling him out. Calling him out on the constant hot-cold switcharoo he kept pulling. He felt bad. On the one hand, Gabe was amazing. He was sweet and kind and caring and considerate and wouldn't even hurt a fly, let alone Yuki. On the other hand, he was dangerous. Very dangerous. To the point that he was the living embodiment of a Britney Spears song.

"You want me to be honest?" He sighed. He still couldn't meet Gabe's eyes, for fear of seeing a hurt look on his face. But Gabe had told him that they needed to be honest with each other. And Yuki would stick to that. "I'm... I'm not okay. And I know it's okay to not be okay. Where is all of this going to lead? What if I end up giving myself to you? I... I'm scared. Scared of us. Where we'll go. I've jumped into the deep end with you, Gabe. You're my first real best friend. My first boyfriend. And yeah, I'm calling it that for the purpose of this conversation, because it might as well be true." He sighed. Why did things always have to end like this? Why did everything with Gabe always turn so difficult? Why couldn't anything ever be simple?

"We've kissed. We've hugged. We're even going to be sleeping in the same house tonight. So... Where's the line? You're so amazing. You're so good to me, but that's the problem..." He slowly moved to sit down with his back to Gabe, leaning back against his...boyfriend. "I'm scared. I care about you so much that I'd probably give myself to you. All you'd have to do is ask. And that's what's terrifying..." He mumbled quietly, resting his head on his knees.

There. He'd said it.

Yuki meeped, embarrassed at Gabe being so open. And cheesy. And teasing. Furrowing his brows, he took the opportunity to strike Gabe's weakness: his sides.

With a quiet sigh, he rested his head on Gabe's arm around him, tucking himself into the space his partner had created for him to fill. It was comfortable. It made him feel safe. Secure. Unstoppable.

But revenge was a more pressing matter at hand.

With a silent grin, Yuki whipped around and began attacking Gabe's ribcage relentlessly, tickling and poking without stop as he laughed maniacally. "This is what you get for trying to tease me!" He said between breaths, moving up to tickle Gabe's neck and under his armpits and literally anywhere else Yuki thought the boy might be ticklish. Today was about fun. Not being deep. Or too lovey-dovey. Gabe's mum would be home soon, and he couldn't afford to be caught being too intimate.