In the Midst of Nightmares

Trahnael · Jan 8, 2016

"Oh." That would explain why he was a doctor. She was looking at their hands, and wondered if that warmth was soon going to be cold, so cold, maybe like the water that had almost drowned her.

Adelene took a shaky breath in and shrugged. "Because nobody's guarding me?" she sounded uncertain. She wasn't really sure why she was doing this in the first place, she only knew that she had to, like death was pulling her close and she just couldn't resist. As if she just knew death was going to feel lighter than all these spiraling emotions stuck in her chest and stomach, emotions she didn't even understand entirely. "This isn't my first time trying it though. So... What happens to me now?"
@ReD

ReD · Jan 8, 2016

Interesting.

So this wasn't the first time, but it was certainly the last time if he was here. Aiden sucked on the inside of his cheek for a minute. He considered what she said--that no one was guarding her--and for some reason, that made him feel...pity? That she needed to be guarded? That he had no idea what that was like, to have someone else looking out for you.

When she asked what happened next, Aiden laughed.

It was a low, dry sound, but it wasn't cruel.

"God only knows," Aiden said. "That's the worst part of this. I can take you over to the other side, but I have no idea what's there. It could he heaven, it could be hell, it could be another universe, it could be nothing. You could cease to exist. And I will never know."

Aiden gave her hand a squeeze.

It was automatic: a doctor's gesture.

"You die," he said. "Let's go for a walk. You pick where."

Trahnael · Jan 8, 2016

It was better not knowing anyway, Adelene decided. But she wished Aiden would just get this over with, if he really did intend to take her soul, and not make this any longer as if he was trying to make her want to back out.

She didn't want to walk. She wanted to lay down and rest. But, "Downtown," her lips automatically answered for her, though quietly.

"Honestly though, I don't see the point in this."
@ReD

ReD · Jan 11, 2016

Aiden laughed.

"Welcome to life, sweetheart," he said. "Since you're dying, let me give you a secret: it's pointless. Everything is pointless."

Still, he was walking towards the downtown with her. Everything was oddly still. Aiden had to admit, he liked this part of dying.

"I would be lying if I said this wasn't a relief," Aiden said. "You certainly hung on long enough. I've dealt with people who had even less going wrong in their lives than you did and they made the decision much earlier. Kudos for your tenacity."

Aiden did not stumble, but he did falter.

The ground clenched beneath his feet. He realized she wasn't wearing shoes.

"Do you want my shoes?" he asked her.

Trahnael · Jan 12, 2016

Tenacity, huh?

Adelene knew she was stubborn. How many times have she encountered threats to her life?— since childhood-- and yet she's always striven hard to live, knowing somehow that dying was not a good choice.

That made her wonder, now, why on earth did she choose death then, this time?

"I'll be honest, Doc, I don't understand myself anymore," she said. She was looking at the path ahead, and not at his face, her hands raising her awfully long dress to make walking easier.

She chuckled, albeit lacking humor in its tone. "Thank you for the offer but no." The ground was definitely harsh on her feet, but she wasn't going to mind any of those, unless she steps on something pointed accidentally, in which the pain won't be something she'd be able to ignore, if ever she will still be able to feel it. "So... How long is this walk gonna take?"

ReD · Jan 13, 2016

"I don't know," Aiden said. "How long does it usually take to get to the downtown?"

Aiden definitely wasn't feeling right. He never dragged these things out. As a matter of fact, that was one of the things he liked about being death. He didn't give a life review. He could honestly care less.

It must be the alcohol. He so rarely drank. He had to be impacting his reasoning, he decided.

"How many of your memories did you get back?" he asked.

He wanted to know that, for his notes at least, in case he needed to use those pills again.

Trahnael · Jan 14, 2016

Memories? Dr. Hart helped her with that so she didn't mind talking about it. Partly she was thankful, but she didn't really have anything to do with those memories anymore, and so she felt like it was just wasted. "I know who I am, I know my real family, my lifestyle as a kid, what I am, what everything was like back then, but the specific memories are very selected," she answered in one breath.

Adelene sighed, and maybe exaggerated it a little. This was taking too long. She wanted to get out of this place, yet here was Dr. Hart, keeping her stuck. She hugged her own arms, letting her gown go as she stopped walking.

"I change my mind. I don't want to go there," she said, her brows meeting downwards as her eyes went to the doctor's once more, shooting him a glare that looked more desperate than angry, tears beginning to form in their corners. "I'm sure that's all you wanted to know, so please, can we stop this? PLEASE."

ReD · Jan 15, 2016

"Interesting," Aiden said.

That was interesting. It meant the pills were working better than he expected. He'd increased the dosage and it'd taken her this long to follow through with her ideation. It was unfortunate, but maybe he could actually get them approved for other uses.

When Adelene stopped and said she was done Aiden turned to her with a puzzled look.

"Adelene," he said. It might have been the first time he referred to her so casually. "You're dead. You lost the ability to make any decisions when you fired that gun into your head. Your life is mine now."

He did not seem to care that she was going to cry.

"I've been waiting for this moment since I saw your file. Now it's here. i'm giving you the option to visit some place, but hell, I don't even have to do that," Aiden said. "What did you think was going to happen when you pulled the trigger, miss cross?"

Trahnael · Feb 23, 2016

Adelene glared. Aiden was right somehow, that she didn't have any say on anything anymore the having given up on life. But why wasn't she feeling dead just yet?

"Something different," she answered, partly to give support to why she was glaring at the doctor, why she seemed to be getting angrier and angrier by the second. "Darkness. Silence... Death. Instant death."

This wasn't going anywhere, however. Exasperated, dejected, Adelene sighed once more and resumed walking. She moved her feet aimlessly this time.
@ReD - crappy post sorry

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