A Rumored Troublemaker And A Control Freak In A Room[CD]

''Everybody likes coffee, Tavish'', the boy said, suddenly feeling awkward and very much out of place once his room-mate had thanked him. The older man might have fumbled with the can, but it had still ended up in his hands in the end. The way William had thrown it he had expected it to hit Tavish if not directly in the face than at least shoulder or chest. He had, thus prepared himself for another argument, a fight, with both his room-mate and his very annoying, very wolf shaped conscience. He had even hoped it would help him relieve some of that itch still flowing strongly under his skin, like a river of anger within his blood, demanding to be let out. He did not expect to be thanked, and quit frankly, didn't exactly know what to do with that.

The possibility of him simply saying 'you're welcome' was so far out of question it was probably in another universe, buried under a big rock somewhere in the middle of a very tick jungle so that nobody could ever find it. He had already said 'please' once today, a very memory of that making his face morph into a deep, irritated frown. He certainly had no intention of adding to that any time this century if he could help it.

''You, it would seem however'', he said as he followed Tavish's gaze to the stack of cups resting beside the small trash bin sitting in the corner, his mind immediately latching onto anything that could prove itself to be a distraction and soon replacing his frown with a smirk and burring his awkwardness under mocking words and shallow amusement. ''Slightly more than others'', he said, pointing to the small mountain by the bin, a wide grin appearing on his face yet again. It could still be seen, though one could have to look a little bit closer now, that something about him was off and that at least one piece was still out of place.

''It is no wonder you are used to not sleeping at night'', the boy said, jumping over the wolf in order to reach his bed yet again, though he choose to sit down on the very edge of it rather than to lie down yet again. He cast a wondering look towards both Warrior and the wolf as he did so, surprised slightly that neither of them had neither said or did anything ever since the had come into the room. Usually, he would hear Spirit correcting his behaviour at least once until now, even if it was only with a sigh or a disappointed look.

Unbeknown to him, Spirit did very much want to do both of those things, yet bit on his own tongue before doing so, sticking with his conviction to let the situation happen as it would, without any influence from him. There would be no point in stopping William from stepping on seeds and destroying the future trees that could grow from them in a while yet. After all, the seed needed to be planted first, if nothing else, he thought, as he watched both the smirk and amusement disappear from William's face as quickly as they had appeared as soon as Tavish spoke again.

As always, Williams first reaction was to tens up, his body almost recognising this as instinctual now. The smirk which had somehow won over the frown melted away, leaving his face blank, and the awkwardness rose from it's resting place, stronger and gripping on his insides more tightly than ever. He rarely allowed to himself to feel this way, though, so that wasn't really saying much.

The bitter words filled with poison and bite meant to claim how that yeah, there were some people not worth of effort and he was one of them exploded in his chest, out of his anger, and the wish to transfer it on something else, to stop the itch within his blood, and this weird feeling in his chest that for some reason seemed to have made home between his shoulder blades, only to die an even quicker death once they had actually reached his tongue.

Raising his eyes, which he had lowered at some point or the other, he could not even remember when right now, towards the other man, he actually whispered a barely audible ''Yeah'' instead.

''Thanks for realising, I guess'', he added, the thanks only making it past his lips because it was anything but sincere. There was no poison in it, or at least none that was directed towards Tavish directly. Still, the bitterness his whole body held against it could still be both heard in his words and seen in the way his hands gripped tightly at each other quite loudly and even more clearly.

So you know that I like a lot of coffee the other man said in a voice as awkward as William himself felt, and the boy found himself scoffing, though he was unsure whether it was the (under)statement itself that had made him laugh or the fact that they both seemed so out of place in this conversation. It was probably the first thing, he decided, for the second would mean that he felt some sort of empathy, a commiseration, a fellow feeling because of them both being in a same situation. And that was impossible for more reasons than he could ever list. So he scoffed, rolling his eyes, because he was mocking Tavish and his clearly understatement of the year. Perhaps even the century.

... and I know that you like a lot of black, judging by 90% of your clothes Tavish continued to speak, and for a moment, William wondered if he should tell him that he had not picked most of his clothes himself. It was both for him, appearing and disappearing as he grew, nobody ever asking him if he perhaps he wanted to keep his favourite shirt. Not that he actually had one, though, considering how same all of them were, black, and tightly cut. All of them proper, if not formal. He needed to go shopping, he realised, and soon, just as he was about to grow at himself, for here he was, yet again, considering something that just could not happen. He would not share pieces of himself. Tavish did not care.

And we've both got issues, clearly the other man said, and though William was surprised to hear him say both instead of you, he still scoffed, because that, too, was an understatement, twice as big as the previous one. Not because he didn't know what else to say. Certainly not because of that.

Um, do you want to try again? the man in front of him finished even more awkwardly, a goal William had thought would be impossible to reach, and that finally, made the boy burst out laughing, his shoulders shaking as he shook his head, starting at his hands as he wished he had gotten a can of that coffee himself, for his hands were still grabbing awkwardly at each other for the lack of anything other to hold onto or do.

''I am not a girl you had just broke up with, Tavish'', he said, raising his head so he could look the other man in the eyes, a glimmer of that laughter that had just somehow escaped through the prison bars of his mind still holding on to life in his own eyes, making his lips curve ever so slightly in a light, almost honest smile. ''Nor can I go out and just pretend to move in here again'', he said, scoffing again and rolling his eyes. ''But, yeah'', he finished then, surprisingly, the feeling around him still ten times lighter and ten shades brighter than a moment before.

''Sure. Whatever'', William said, and Spirit smiled from his post at the floor. He knew that the mood wouldn't stick and that soon William would be back to teasing Tavish's anger out of him, but this, here. This was the Seed.

''And I know you know I know what you meant'', the boy said, smiling, his shoulders still shaking in some sort of silent laughter, relaxed; his face still showed traces of his smile, the lightness of it making it seem almost open.

He could barely recognize himself, he thought, tightening the grip that his right hand had on his left. The way he was acting, the lightness he suddenly felt in his chest. It almost felt like some strange sort of high, like that feeling you get when you breath in too much of the too thin mountain air. It felt almost maniacal, like something inside him was suddenly just waiting to break.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, steadying himself. He would not allow himself to look weak again,he thought, frowning at the floor, as the feeling in his chest changed again, making his heart suddenly beat louder, and he was suddenly to aware of the silence surrounding him. It felt defending, like it was stretching into infinity.

Biting into his lip, he refused to let the feeling take over him. It felt too much like panic, like the urge he got during his dreams, to turn his back on everything and run, and never to come back. He didn't know what had set off the reaction this time, there were no horrid memories of his past, no darkness, or dreams. Just Tavish, and he refused to think that the brunet could set of this kind of reaction inside of him, and a quiet, small moment of a quite genuine laughter for once.

The sophistication that thought carried with it almost set him into another round of this time definitely hysterical laughter, making him thus actually feel grateful that the college boy had finally found another topic to talk about. Rising from the whichever depth of his mind he had somehow fallen into, he slowly build up again all of his layers, one by one, standing firmly on top of them once he had opened his eyes once again.

''Some of it'', he said, the small, almost honest smile having now long ago been erased from his face. ''And not all the time.'' He had an iPod filled with the songs loud and violent enough for him to get lost into while running on those rare occasions he would actually go run, or for when the itch within his blood, the urge to fight, got to strong for him to handle, and he had no other way to spend it.

''So if you're asking me if it's okay for you to go strumming on that guitar of yours in the middle of the night the answer is no'', he said, his voice harsher than it had been, but still keeping some of its earlier openness. He was still holding on, Spirit thought, lying still on his post and pretending to be asleep. He was still keeping himself from collapsing under the weight of the emotions he was feeling, from building up layers of caring and not caring and hiding under them. That was good. Very good. The collapse would probably come soon, and then Tavish's offer would truly be tested by angry remarks and hurtful comments, but for now, everything was still good, so the wolf kept smiling.

''Well, even if you did, it would be only fair, I guess'', tilting his head to the side as he looked at his man in front of him, suggesting, for the first time in William's life that he was asking him something simply because he was curious about him. About whether or not he liked music. His voice once again lost some of its harshness, the feelings inside him dancing on a strange, paper thing edge. A moment before he was ready to break, his body tensing like an animal which was run into a corner. Now he felt steady, almost normal the way he imagined everybody else fells on the day to day bases. It was strange, he thought. Stranger, he was sure, even than his paper thin, maniacal-steady edge.

''It's not like I won't be disrupting yours...what little of it you manage to get anyway'', he said, his smile growing slightly bigger, though not any more cheerful in tone. ''So go on strumming, I guess'', he added quietly in the end, almost whispering. He felt awkward yet again, the spectrum of feelings kept apart but that paper thin edge growing larger to include that as well. He was unsure whether he should add anything else to that, actually confirm that it was okay for Tavish to ask or even perhaps describe what sort of music he liked.

Thankfully, the other man's continued speaking, distracting him from his thoughts before he bit through his own lip in confusion. ''That can hardly be called a debt, col...'', he said, rising his head to look at Tavish again before biting his tongue yet again to stop the words from coming out. It will be hard, he thought, not using them, he could already see that. What was stranger thought, was that this time, they weren't even mocking him. It was almost like a...nickname.

''Tavish'', he said immediately, as soon as he felt his thoughts go there, stopping that train of thought before it even left the station. ''It's just a can of coffee'', he said, shrugging his shoulders. ''Nothing that you should worry yourself about. Considering it'', an apology he wanted to say but the words wouldn't go past his lips yet again. ''A moving in gift if you must'', he finished awkwardly after a pause long enough to clearly indicated he had initially intended to (try and) say something else.

Feeling more awkward than ever before in his life, William suddenly turned his attention to Spirit, prodding him with his leg to check whether the wolf was really asleep as he was pretending to be.

I didn't catch what you said the other man said, and William found himself biting onto his lip again, wondering whether he should repeat himself. In the end, when the wolf did not respond to him prodding him with his leg by trying to bite the said leg off like he usually would, William found himself drawing his limbs closer to himself until they were comfortably close, his legs crossed beneath him, his hands resting on his knees for a second before his fingers found their way into his fair in a nervous gesture.

''I said I won't mind you playing the thing at odd hours of the night if you should feel so inclined'', he said, looking at Tavish for a whole moment before looking away again. His eyes jumped from one corner of the room to the next before he finally settled at starting through the window at now quite dark, pitch black night sky.

''Because it's not like my dreams are exactly quiet, you know'', he said, his voice hesitant, almost sad, just as his smile had been a moment before. The smile was now gone, but the tone was still there, though his body language alone was enough to spell out, quite clearly, to anybody who would bother to look and see, each and every one of the feelings which were currently running out of control inside of him.

''So it's only fair you wake me up too sometimes and..'', he continued to speak still even when it was obvious that he should stop. ''All that'', he waved his hand through the air in the end. He was bad at this, he knew, and for some reason he suddenly wanted to be good, and this awkwardness still gripping him tightly both inside and out was starting to frustrate him, and when he got frustrated he got angry. Angry that he had never gotten a chance to have friends as a child, to build skills he would obviously need later in life, no matter how hard he tried to avoid people or did not like being around them.

Before the anger could build into an tide that would break what little of a mental damn he had in order to went itself out on Tavish in the form of hurtful comments, Spirit slowly opened his eyes and spoke.

''There is no need to feel nervous, Tavish'' , the wolf said in a calm, soothing voice, knowing if not exactly, than pretty closely what was going on inside his Summoner's head.

''It is not like this one actually knows anything about music'', he continued to speak, seemingly unaware of the confused, irritated frown William was sending his way, considering he had thought that the wolf was actually asleep.

''The kind he listens too has probably left him half deaf anyway'', he said, smiling at Tavish slightly himself. He had promised, after all, he would keep William under control at least somewhat, and this was a time to do it, his previous silence having already served its point.

''I can still hear perfectly fine, thanks'', the boy said bitterly, poking the wolf's back with his leg once more, only this time he put much more force behind it. The wolf growled at him, turning around to snap his jaws. William smiled. ''You have brought that on yourself'', he scoffed before turning back to Tavish.

''He is right about me not knowing anything about music, though'', he said to the other man almost hesitantly. This all looked too much like small talk. ''That doesn't mean I won't tell you if I think you suck either though'', he finished in a bit of a harsher, but still not actually irritating tone.

''Also I'm never exactly given a move in gift before either'', he continued to speak, thinking how that was probably better than silence. ''So I guess we are even there'', he said, shrugging his shoulders as he tried not to think how he had not given (or received pretty much) any other kind of gift either. Spirit and Warrior didn't really need anything, and couldn't exactly go buy him presents either so it was all kind of a moot, very awkward point he did not like to think about just as many others.

The boy sighed. Spirit's interruption had stopped the rise of his anger, but had not done anything for the parade of all the other feelings that were currently tormenting him. He still felt awkward, his skin having suddenly grown two sizes too small. He had an urge to twitch, or squirm. Do anything except simply sit there. Only he refused to actually do any of those things.