Private Finished Well would you do it again, again, And count backwards from ten?

William generally waited as long as he could between feedings, pretending resistance. It wasn't necessarily a long wait - since being on this island, he was pretty sure he hadn't managed to go a week without it, although some had been partial feedings or voluntary. But usually, his cravings would have been too wild to be interrupted so easily. Fortunately for the person currently being drained by the wraith, this had been an attack of opportunity, and he wasn't so involved in the feeding that he could ignore someone grabbing his arm.

It was not the idea of getting caught that had him attempting to rip his arm out of the boy's grip and bolting to his feet, but the sure conviction that it was someone else that had grabbed him. He turned on the young man, trembling and glaring at the same time, spitting out, "Why can't you give me a moment's peace? I am not your pet!"

When it finally clicked in his mind that it was Lochlann, the doctor's eyes widened in fright, and he pulled back harder, the glare lost for a moment as his emotions adjusted to this development. "This - isn't what it looks like." His voice lacked force. His mind was trying to collect thoughts that had been scattered somewhere during his feeding and his hunger was reacting wildly to be interrupted.

The doctor's eyes would not meet Lochlann's and he was fidgeting, trying not to look at any one place for too long. He had removed his gloves and the semi-unconscious person had bright red handprints on their arm already. He didn't know how good the fae's eyesight was, but this could be hard to explain away. And on top of the simple desire to not be caught, there was the lingering uneasiness at being vulnerable in front of another person.

"How much did you see?" Perhaps a suspicious question, but he needed to know.

When Lochlann didn't let go of his arm, William's pretense at calmness started to rapidly slip. It didn't matter that the fae was not actually attacking him, all he could think was - he's touching me. he's touching me. he's touching me. His skin crawled with the terror of it. It was really hard to focus on anything besides that. Any explanations the doctor could have come up with were scrambling in his head, not able to overcome the fact that once again he was being held against his will.

Even if it was just his arm, right now he was too on edge to push away his fear. If he had a heart it would be racing. When he opened his mouth to speak nothing came out and he was just staring at Lochlann's hand. And since he couldn't get away, as weak as he was, Maria was just allowing his terror, doing nothing to calm him down.

When Lochlann came closer, he took a few steps back. His head was screaming "no" and he held up a hand palm up as if he was going to push him away, but he didn't touch the boy at all. He felt like he wanted to be sick, but his body wouldn't let him do that either. The hand he held up was quite obviously shaking and he pulled it back down, clenching it into a fist at his side.

The taste of fear was nearly overpowering, but it wasn't reassuring him. It was making him hungrier though, which was making it even harder to think. He barely managed to stop a whimper when Lochlann pointed out how far he was from his usual areas. "Please. Let go." He hated how clearly his distress was evident in his voice, but the doctor had no illusions of control in this situation and he just wanted the boy to stop touching him so he could regather himself at least a bit. Then maybe he could talk his way out of this.

When Lochlann finally released his arm, William pulled it back as if he had been burnt and backed up so hastily that his feet not quite touching the ground was probably the only thing that stopped him from tripping. He seriously considered just running for it - forget explanations. The victim would most likely live and he didn't need to feed that badly, though the partial feeding was making his cravings seem worse than they would usually be.

Except - he knew he couldn't outrun the boy, couldn't out most people, and he thought his mind might shatter if Lochlann tried to catch him. Not that he had any idea what the other would do. The uncertainty kept him tense.

And why should he try to flee? He had been let go of and the initial panic was dimming. And the terror he was tasting in the air was not his own. Lochlann was still dangerous to him because of how much he knew and what he had seen, but probably not threatening to him in a personal way. At least he could drain the fae if he needed to escape.

His eyes narrowed, but he made no move to decrease the distance he had put between them and was shifting his feet unable to hold himself still.

Then he was asked a question so unexpected he almost gave an honest answer, "Y-no!" But he stopped himself. That was too personal a question. A topic best avoided altogether. Especially since his easy panic indicated he'd been affected much deeper than he'd thought. He hoped it would pass. The doctor shook his head to clear it, and restated in a suddenly tired voice, "No. I'm not hiding."

He frowned up at Lochlann, "Why did you -" stopped himself. He couldn't ask why Lochlann had interrupted him without having to explain that as well. He was still having trouble thinking straight. "Why are you here?"

Suddenly he just wanted the boy to leave. Perhaps things looked a bit suspicious, but he could just let the victim go or hide them really well after he killed them. He suspected that he couldn't get rid of Lochlann that easily, but maybe he didn't need to explain. "There's nothing to worry about here... It's okay for you to go. Keep - doing whatever you were doing." William did not pull off an innocent face well.

It struck him then, as he became more aware of his surroundings, that whatever was scaring the boy, it wasn't the possibly dead body. And Lochlann's desperation shone through in his words, even if the doctor couldn't interpret body language. He was not capable of sympathy, but for a moment he understood something of where the boy was coming from. He still wasn't going to give him what he wanted, though.

The question was - how much honesty could he risk? So far letting go of his masks had had only bad consequences. Trusting someone was more dangerous than getting caught. On the other hand, Lochlann already knew some things and hadn't told anyone yet. And William really didn't want to deal with another stalker.

"Do you not realize that they'd be dead if you hadn't shown up? You have your problems, but this... How many times do I have to incriminate myself before you leave me alone?! Unless you're another one of the -people- on this island that seems to enjoy death..." He stopped himself again. With every sentence, he was on the verge of opening up too much. And however much he lied to himself, he would still kill the boy if he thought he could.

Looking down at his feet, he spoke softly, "The difference is you got away." For some reason, he felt the need to justify himself. Perhaps it was the lingering effects of his own panic or the fact that he did regret everything he did. He glanced up at Lochlann, "I do not do it on purpose I just can't-" Yet again, William broke off mid-sentence.

He was tired too. He gestured to the unconscious body at his feet. "They're alive because you interrupted me. You're alive because you ran. I..." He didn't know what else to say. He hated being a murderer. And he knew now it was unnecessary to feed until their death. Yet he lacked self-control. And regret was just an after-effect. The doctor kept staring at his feet, fidgeting, silent once more.

"They never have to die - they just do! Because I don't have the self-control to stop myself!" The doctor muttered all this angrily at his feet, caught up in a sudden desire to punch something. It actually took him a moment to realize he'd spoken out loud. So much for not saying too much.

"I..." He was at a loss for words. Everything from now on was damage control and he refused to let himself be vulnerable in front of another person again. Yet, the doctor wasn't stupid. He had already known that Lochlann had something to hold over him, beyond his height and the fact that he could take on the doctor as long as his skin wasn't bare, even if the boy had only just realized it for himself.

"I believe you. There are too many others on this island who do enjoy it and wish to 'share the fun'." He shook his head, "That does not matter. I know you do not trust me and you're terrified of something, but believe me - I do not enjoy death either... Regret just comes too late"

William was still refusing to meet Lochlann's eyes. Jumpy. Restless. Everything he'd said was true, but at the same time - he'd have no problem with tricking someone into letting him feed off them and then killing them because they were too weak to escape. He was just calm enough right now to know he'd feel guilt later. And these interrupted feedings were making it harder to hold off on killing. He was slowly losing pieces of himself, but the needless deaths still bothered him. Yet another reminder that he was alive because he was a monster and his shows of resistance were a very thin cover.

The doctor made one more attempt at dissuading the fae. His voice was quiet and strained, directed at their feet. "The feeding just - makes things worse. The amount is irrelevant. I would not stop. You are strong enough to get away. I. Would. Not. Stop..." he trailed off. Really, he wasn't even sure why it was important to him. If he fed off the boy, and the boy ran away, he'd just finish draining a person who he would've drained anyways without Lochlann's intervention. And seeing as it had been an attack of opportunity - he couldn't really lay the blame on anyone but himself.

Yet - he knew partial feedings did make his cravings worse. And even if he was largely unsuccessful, he did want to hold himself back from too many murders. He couldn't afford to become a habit.

Maria had been mostly quiet while he was puzzling things through in his head, but she suddenly spoke up. Why don't we just kill him then? The wraith never agreed with his demon, but this once she might have a viable solution. The doctor considered it, and his eyes widened. Lochlann probably wouldn't be able to see that, since William was still staring at the ground. But the fact that the doctor abruptly went still and ceased his fidgeting was probably obvious.