The building was more or less empty as Jacob sought out an exit to the place, only hazily remembered from when he had first entered. He swore that he was making wrong turns somewhere because he was almost certain that he was retracing the path he and Lenn had taken. Twice he ran into someone, people who had opted to hid and wait for the chaos to die down before moving. They looked at him once and saw his injuries, his sword, and his sour expression before giving him a wide berth as they went about whatever it is they were doing, most likely escaping too. Jacob paid them no mind. His rage had been momentarily sated, and his lust had been drained, by Alexia.
Eventually he found the exit and kicked the door clean off the hinges, leaving the door lying in the dark alleyway. Sheathed sword in hand, he wandered off into the night, possibly heading towards the hotel. It was very late and even the streets of New York were mostly empty at that time. Not that Jacob would have cared if anyone saw him, for now.
As he trudged back to the hotel, he found his brows relaxing and his expression softening. The heat of his body slowly died down. For once, he looked down at himself and saw his state of dress. It occurred to him that there was no way he was getting back into the hotel looking like that, covered in blood and dirt with torn clothes and holding a sword. What little thought he could muster resulted in a makeshift plan: quickly clean himself in a public shower at a closed pool(he just jumped the fence), pay for a poncho at a late night news stand, and then just keep quiet as he entered the hotel.
Though he looked more disheveled and homeless than murderous, it was enough for him to finally make it back to his room. Almost immediately upon closing the door behind him, the slam made his head throb like a motherfucker. He dropped everything and hoped a real hot shower would make it go away. The shower felt nice so long as he was in it, but his wounds burned and his limbs started feeling like they were going to fall off. Had he really been moving that and that fast?
Had he really used his sword? How much of the blood on him was his? Did he really KILL that woman? Like emerging from a fog, Jacob slowly put the pieces together and saw them in total clarity. His mind freed from the control of the drug, he could now actually think and reflect on what he had done. It was all clear as day too. His behavior. His words. The pain he had suffered and the pain he had inflicted. The feeling of draining his balls into that woman, then impaling her through the chest.
Jacob vomited right there in the shower.
"No... No... No... No.... Noooooo...."
Repeatedly he told himself that none of that had happened. None of it. It was all just delusions brought on by the drugs. It was all just a hallucination. The blood and wounds were just from minor scrape he got into, like drunkenly fighting someone on the street or something. He really had no impaled a woman after fucking her senseless and possibly decapitated someone on accident. It was all just a nightmare, and Lenn was just on the other side of the door, waiting for him.
It was his last chance. Jacob finished up in the shower and rushed to the bedroom. For just a moment, he thought he saw Lenn, sleeping on the bed, and he thought everything was fine. Then his foot knocked over his sword and he saw the blood and dirt on it. Jacob dropped to his knees, his body aching and his head throbbing, and tears started flowing. There was no sobbing, as he was too shocked to do that. It was more like the realization of his actions had made him stare into the eyes of madness and now he was broken.
"I didn't... I couldn't... Lenn isn't... There's no way..."
The next day and a half passed in a haze as Jacob remained in the hotel room, simultaneously dealing with the withdrawal of the drugs and grappling with his memories of that night. The only contact with the outside was when room service brought him food. Jacob's time alternated between writhing on the bed in pain, standing in the steaming shower, vomiting whatever he ate, and trying to reconcile his actions.
The only solace he had was when, feeling at his lowest and needing anything to hold on to, Jacob called his daughter. Hearing her voice was more comfort than he could have ever wanted. He told her nothing of what happened, and hid the tears in his voice, and just acted like he was just calling to see how she was doing. He asked question after question, trying to keep her talking to him as long as possible. But eventually she had her own things to do and she ended the call, telling him that she loved him. It was like a warm blanket around him and Jacob pulled himself back from the edge.
Friday night came and, still unsure about a great many things, Jacob set out for the old tannery in search of Lenn. Cleaning his sword at the hotel had been a painful reminder of what he had done with it, and therapeutic as he remember what Lenn had taught him. He found another tube roll to hide it in and he dressed in slightly less-nice clothes, knowing for sure that he was not going to get any of his good stuff dirty again.
Eventually he found the exit and kicked the door clean off the hinges, leaving the door lying in the dark alleyway. Sheathed sword in hand, he wandered off into the night, possibly heading towards the hotel. It was very late and even the streets of New York were mostly empty at that time. Not that Jacob would have cared if anyone saw him, for now.
As he trudged back to the hotel, he found his brows relaxing and his expression softening. The heat of his body slowly died down. For once, he looked down at himself and saw his state of dress. It occurred to him that there was no way he was getting back into the hotel looking like that, covered in blood and dirt with torn clothes and holding a sword. What little thought he could muster resulted in a makeshift plan: quickly clean himself in a public shower at a closed pool(he just jumped the fence), pay for a poncho at a late night news stand, and then just keep quiet as he entered the hotel.
Though he looked more disheveled and homeless than murderous, it was enough for him to finally make it back to his room. Almost immediately upon closing the door behind him, the slam made his head throb like a motherfucker. He dropped everything and hoped a real hot shower would make it go away. The shower felt nice so long as he was in it, but his wounds burned and his limbs started feeling like they were going to fall off. Had he really been moving that and that fast?
Had he really used his sword? How much of the blood on him was his? Did he really KILL that woman? Like emerging from a fog, Jacob slowly put the pieces together and saw them in total clarity. His mind freed from the control of the drug, he could now actually think and reflect on what he had done. It was all clear as day too. His behavior. His words. The pain he had suffered and the pain he had inflicted. The feeling of draining his balls into that woman, then impaling her through the chest.
Jacob vomited right there in the shower.
"No... No... No... No.... Noooooo...."
Repeatedly he told himself that none of that had happened. None of it. It was all just delusions brought on by the drugs. It was all just a hallucination. The blood and wounds were just from minor scrape he got into, like drunkenly fighting someone on the street or something. He really had no impaled a woman after fucking her senseless and possibly decapitated someone on accident. It was all just a nightmare, and Lenn was just on the other side of the door, waiting for him.
It was his last chance. Jacob finished up in the shower and rushed to the bedroom. For just a moment, he thought he saw Lenn, sleeping on the bed, and he thought everything was fine. Then his foot knocked over his sword and he saw the blood and dirt on it. Jacob dropped to his knees, his body aching and his head throbbing, and tears started flowing. There was no sobbing, as he was too shocked to do that. It was more like the realization of his actions had made him stare into the eyes of madness and now he was broken.
"I didn't... I couldn't... Lenn isn't... There's no way..."
The next day and a half passed in a haze as Jacob remained in the hotel room, simultaneously dealing with the withdrawal of the drugs and grappling with his memories of that night. The only contact with the outside was when room service brought him food. Jacob's time alternated between writhing on the bed in pain, standing in the steaming shower, vomiting whatever he ate, and trying to reconcile his actions.
The only solace he had was when, feeling at his lowest and needing anything to hold on to, Jacob called his daughter. Hearing her voice was more comfort than he could have ever wanted. He told her nothing of what happened, and hid the tears in his voice, and just acted like he was just calling to see how she was doing. He asked question after question, trying to keep her talking to him as long as possible. But eventually she had her own things to do and she ended the call, telling him that she loved him. It was like a warm blanket around him and Jacob pulled himself back from the edge.
Friday night came and, still unsure about a great many things, Jacob set out for the old tannery in search of Lenn. Cleaning his sword at the hotel had been a painful reminder of what he had done with it, and therapeutic as he remember what Lenn had taught him. He found another tube roll to hide it in and he dressed in slightly less-nice clothes, knowing for sure that he was not going to get any of his good stuff dirty again.