the copycat

Toby held his breath, feeling his heart hammering in his chest, a white noise growing louder in his head. This felt like something that could make or break them, more so than that night in the dark of the woods.

And then, Felix smiled. If Toby was expecting anything, it hadn't been that. He felt like the breath he'd been holding was kicked out of him, mouth open, stunned. He furrowed his brows, and said, in a very small voice, "Yes."

Then, louder. "Yes, I was offering. Are you serious? This isn't a joke? Fuck, Felix." He scrubbed at his face, psyching himself up. He'd sliced people to bloody ribbons, living humans, without so much as blinking and this was what felt heavy? What threw him for a loop?

It caught him off guard, despite his suggesting it in the first place, but he didn't truly blink here either. He snatched Felix's hand, grasping it with both of his own, squeezing tight, golden eyes all too intense and hyperfocused. "Partners," he dared to assert, gaze never wavering.

He let go of Felix eventually, swallowing, though not looking away. "Will you agree to actually eating and staying in bed to get better now? You fucking drowned. And do you want to... talk about the new setup now, or later? I'll talk if you eat."

Toby didn't think he'd ever seen Felix this happy. He wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to protect it. Them. Felix. He felt pretty emotional about this, looking at his face, the way those bright blue eyes lit up, lips curved pleasantly, head held higher, smiling with his whole body. Felix was so beautiful, and it made Toby want to squirm like crazy, skin heated.

It was odd, that he could make Felix this happy, with what, offering his sorry self up? He really wanted them be together like this? It felt too easy, on Toby's end. Some kind of undeserved answer to unspoken prayers. Everything changing in the blink of an eye, feeling as though more sacrifice should've been offered in exchange for this much good. He was getting off with a slap on the wrist here, but it didn't really matter, when Felix was actually happy. Even if Toby didn't deserve it, Felix did.

His eyes got rounder as he watched Felix move over and invite him onto the bed with him. Toby scrambled out of his chair and up with him immediately, trying not to accidentally fall on Felix and squish him in the process, as cautious as his excitement could allow and mindful of how injured he was. He was an awkward tangle of limbs at best, but he was Felix's awkward tangle of limbs.

He gasped when held, and wrapped his arms around Felix right back, a little shakily. He rested his cheek to the top of Felix's head after pressing a kiss there. "Hey! You aren't dead, Felix. You aren't," he whispered, sniffling a little, tears coming back. He gave Felix a squeeze. "You're here. We're here. Together."

"I only offered to leave you alone because that's what I thought would encourage you to take care of yourself-- healing and not interacting with me being more appealing than running off without it and having me kick up a fuss and lurk around. Now, that tactic isn't needed… I never wanted to go anywhere, or let you out of my sight, in the first place, you know?" Toby blushed and fidgeted, eyes fluttering shut when his cheek was kissed.

He managed to turn without detaching himself from his Felix clinging, grabbing the burger and handing it over, getting some fries for himself and propping himself upright by an elbow. "Hospital TV is shitty. I can bring you one of my tablets from home to watch the good shit on tomorrow, if you want. I have subscriptions to like… everything, all the premium networks and online stuff. Wifi here isn't bad."

On the next topic, the far bigger one, Toby quieted and hummed. "Whatever you want, but I'm… I'm okay with it being officially. You don't have to sneak around to do it, I guess I mean. And I can do more than just feed you information. I'll work really hard. I can help you on cases! Or… yeah, whatever you want."

Toby felt like he was in some otherworldly haze of happiness, a daydream. They were both so warm and soft, here, now. He wanted it to last. He pet Felix's hair a little overmuch, and nuzzled at him indulgently. "I'm staying," he reassured, gently.

"You okay there?" he asked soon after, watching Felix with concern as he had difficulty with the burger. "Be careful, pace yourself." He rubbed the other man's back and allowed the fry robbing, then smiled, shaking his head. "It could also be Amazon Video and chill, or Hulu and chill, for all you know. Impressed yet? Fancy, right? I'm a real catch."

He flushed, hesitated, then leaned over to place a kiss on Felix's nose, then a very, very quick one on his lips. He was still being careful. "I've already been off for a few days. It's fine. I'm like you, my vacation days build up, and not much can be said when I finally cash them in." Toby sucked in a breath and held it. "And yes. I'd love to. You know I would. We should go out and do everything."

Toby squeezed their laced hands. "I'm very sure, after going through all of that, and I don't think you can argue with me about it. It's fine, Felix, really. It's not like I make many friends anyway. If you're worried, I'll clean up, wear contacts, too. Maybe I can get a codename that isn't ferret-related. Straighten my posture. Nobody would recognize me." He flashed a grin. "I'm not worried. Seriously. People tend to avoid thinking about and remembering me when they don't have to." It was funny, though, that the criminal was the one with more to lose. Perhaps funny in the uncomfortable way.

"You can officially register my working with you and not get in trouble for it, I can steal donuts from your cop friends, it's a perfect exchange." Though, truthfully, the failsafe impunity was what benefitted them both. If this turned out right, he was receiving the opportunity of a lifetime. Danger from other criminals made him laugh. Prison didn't.

"I already said I was staying. I might disappear for a bit tomorrow morning to check up on something, but I'll be back fast." Toby curled up with Felix in his dumb hospital bed, brushing their lips together lightly. Kissing was fantastic, but there was a heated intimacy in this, as well.

He felt his heart do a little flip at that acknowledgement. The attempted distance was strongly pushed before, Felix very quick to flinch and put him in his place. Now, he was important. He closed his eyes, leaning his face into the touch, breathing slow and steady. "I don't mind," he said, voice faint. "You're important too."

He had to blush, chuckling, at Felix's show of excitement. Flustered. "Shut up, I do say so! God, stop questioning me, I mean what I say, capiche? And don't remind me of the paperwork. That's the real intimidating part of this, I don't give a fuck about anything else. I'm fine with dragging out these special hospital episode days so we can put it off."

Exhausted, Toby settled down under the blanket without complaint. "I'm more than fine with it… Let's just, forget about everything for a little while. Netflix and chill, yeah. Sounds good to me." He gazed at Felix a bit longer, lovesick, needy, even when the other had already closed his eyes. He gave a tiny huff, any lingering tenseness draining from him with those words, and hearing them spoken so softly.

"I love you too." Then, after savoring being able to speak those few, but heavy, words, a very cozy Toby fell right asleep.


In the morning, Toby left without disturbing Felix, a master lurker, and went to speedily do his errand. It was a Mittens delivery service mission, to be specific. After heading back to his own place to get his car, he went to Felix's, making sure the fluffy cat he'd deemed worthy of affection received the appropriate pets. From there, he catnapped Mittens from the apartment and took him back to the hospital, along with some of his food. He smuggled the kitty in, with a cardboard box, on a wheelchair, that had a blanket over it. Sneaky. He also blackmailed some hospital staff members, and that helped. Typically, only dogs were allowed in.

By the time he was back to Felix's room, he had a tray of breakfast food for him, and plopped Mittens right on his chest, who rubbed his face on Felix. Toby pointed at the cat, expression stern. "I bet you regret acting like you didn't care about your cat now. Look at him. Are you looking? Look more. Memorize this moment, and think about it the next time you try to shrug off Mittens missing you."