Event Private Shoulder to Cry On

Elias was eager to move on from talk of the virus, although college wouldn’t have been his first choice of topic. He’d certainly thought about it before - how could he not? It was getting closer with every passing second, and Naoko wasn’t the only 11th-grader who wanted to be prepared. It popped up in conversation all the time. Only, Elias had his own way of preparing, which mostly involved him dissolving into a massive ball of stress and anxiety whenever he so much as tried to think about the future. He avoided it, when he could.

Anything, really, would have been a happier subject than the virus, but Elias wasn’t about to be a sourpuss and go back to talking about that. College it was, then.

“A-huh, hm, yeah, that’d be an experience!” He exclaimed, a bit too quickly and a bit too loudly. Dorming was probably what most normal people were doing. Everyone who didn’t already live on campus was probably going stir crazy at home, Elias excluded. Change was the problem. He liked home, comfortable and familiar. Change, what even was that? Definitely not comfortable, that’s what. It didn’t exactly excite him as much as it seemed to excite Naoko, but he could at least pretend it did.

“That sounds like so much fun. I mean...wow. You get to have a dorm and stuff. That’s awesome!”

Well, he tried to sound convincing.

“We could even get one together! Shared dorms! They - they have those!”

Elias wasn’t hiding anything, really. That implied bad intentions, which was far from the truth. It was more like he was trying to preserve any small shred of dignity he had. Elias wasn’t a child. He was a responsible teenager. A responsible teenager would be able to handle living away from his family and the home that he grew up in. He was supposed to be excited, like Naoko, and there was no reason not to be. Yet, the thought of dorming far away and with other people was like a weight crushing his frail, unprepared body. Responsible teenagers were not supposed to be crushed by responsibilities.

If he had the chance to pretend long enough, maybe he could’ve tricked himself into thinking happy thoughts about moving out. Fake it till he could make it. It was too bad Elias sucked at pretending. Naoko had him figured out, so there was no use in faking anything now.

“Hiding? Me? Pfft,” he said, half-turning towards her, “What could I possibly be hiding, other than the fact that I’m a total wimp who’s afraid of dorming - dorming, for god’s sake! - even though it’s really not that big of a deal and I shouldn’t be. It’s - it’s stupid, actually. Sorry.”
@Romi

He was nervous for a second, nervous that all he did was make things awkward. Tension lay in the air like suffocating humidity and perhaps it would have been better if Elias hadn’t said anything at all - then, at least, maybe they could skip the part where Naoko was supposed to pity him and offer her condolences for his complete lack of balls.

Then Naoko actually opened her mouth, and the tension, if there was any to begin with, disappeared. Elias let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, god, I’m so glad you think so too,” he said. It felt good to hear her express the same concerns he couldn’t put into words; he needed that. The pressure he put on himself before didn’t feel so heavy anymore, and it got him thinking. Being the only ones staying home wouldn’t be that weird if both of them did it, right? It would be two of them walking off campus at the end of the day. Not the odd ones out. A team. It was pretty much the perfect solution that would ensure neither of them would have to stretch too far out of their comfort zones.

“What if we didn’t have to dorm?" he started, a hint of hopefulness creeping into his voice, “We could just stay here in the neighborhood. Walk home together, or something. It might not be as strange that way.”
@Romi