[tom=http://i.imgur.com/uVGY9jP.png, #fc9cff]Logan rested gently against Mia in their embrace, trying to use body heat and connection to cope, something that felt like natural habit to seek. Except, this time it wasn't accompanied by any prickling, self destructive lust under the surface. Simply the need for companionship. Family. There wasn't a thing in the world Logan valued more than family, he'd realized, flashy stunts or not. It was a slow revelation, but one that clicked and made everything make sense in an otherwise confusing, messy adolescence.
"Mia," he said, voice quiet but with an edge of urgent sincerity. "There's no bigger gift you can give a child than wanting it. And they can forgive a lot, if you make that clear. This is scary, but if it's mine-- if it's Dorian's, too, really!— I want that child to have a better chance at happiness than we did, starting out. I think a part of us deserves that, something to show we didn't go through it for nothing but chose to be more, and I-I… we can be different than our parents, with raising a kid, right?" Logan smiled, bittersweet, but almost with a signature smug quirk to it. "Pardon my language… it'd be a good 'fuck you' to them! We're clumsy, but um… we care. That's the secret weapon. Can't be topped." And he outdid his smile by grinning, for her sake, then. Somehow, somehow. It was big and childish, but heartfelt.
"As for selfishness," he continued after a minute, sighing, "Everyone's selfish! You, me, Dorian, we all have our own perspectives and personal values to consider. It's not automatically wrong from person to person in any case, but sometimes it won't… mix well. Not without work. It doesn't necessarily have ties to selfishness or mistakes. Better to think about how our needs do or don't match, and how to deal with what doesn't match."
The unicorn squirmed a bit, inhaling shakily, embarrassment settling in shortly over his attempts to sound mature. "I mean, I-- let's not fight," he whispered. "My heart hurts. The closer it's gotten to Dorian's graduation, the more afraid I've been of his leaving. He's been there for almost all the important moments in my life. I used to plan on following him once I got out of school myself, but another voice in my head wondered if when gone, he'd ever really be open to being around the Manta Carlos freaks like me again, a bad taste in his mouth. It's been unfair to him, and I'm a reminder of that. I hate myself for being born here, and not out there, sometimes. I hate things that are rigged."
…What'd he been talking about? Hot tears were blurring his eyes. "L-let's not fight. Please. If you'll try, I'll try. I'm tired, and if we can agree to make it easy on each other, my sleep won't be as restless. I'm scared, but if we can understand each other, it'd be a path to easing that. I want to be good, better. I don't want everything to be impossible to win. I don't want to lose everyone. Okay?" He pressed a kiss to Mia's head, probably getting her hair damp with the crying. "We figure things out from there. But if you promise to treat me carefully, I'll do the same for you-- then, maybe we'll both feel less guilty and selfish, some fucking day." Logan sniffled and squeezed his eyes shut, breathing a weak "Christ."[/tom]
"Mia," he said, voice quiet but with an edge of urgent sincerity. "There's no bigger gift you can give a child than wanting it. And they can forgive a lot, if you make that clear. This is scary, but if it's mine-- if it's Dorian's, too, really!— I want that child to have a better chance at happiness than we did, starting out. I think a part of us deserves that, something to show we didn't go through it for nothing but chose to be more, and I-I… we can be different than our parents, with raising a kid, right?" Logan smiled, bittersweet, but almost with a signature smug quirk to it. "Pardon my language… it'd be a good 'fuck you' to them! We're clumsy, but um… we care. That's the secret weapon. Can't be topped." And he outdid his smile by grinning, for her sake, then. Somehow, somehow. It was big and childish, but heartfelt.
"As for selfishness," he continued after a minute, sighing, "Everyone's selfish! You, me, Dorian, we all have our own perspectives and personal values to consider. It's not automatically wrong from person to person in any case, but sometimes it won't… mix well. Not without work. It doesn't necessarily have ties to selfishness or mistakes. Better to think about how our needs do or don't match, and how to deal with what doesn't match."
The unicorn squirmed a bit, inhaling shakily, embarrassment settling in shortly over his attempts to sound mature. "I mean, I-- let's not fight," he whispered. "My heart hurts. The closer it's gotten to Dorian's graduation, the more afraid I've been of his leaving. He's been there for almost all the important moments in my life. I used to plan on following him once I got out of school myself, but another voice in my head wondered if when gone, he'd ever really be open to being around the Manta Carlos freaks like me again, a bad taste in his mouth. It's been unfair to him, and I'm a reminder of that. I hate myself for being born here, and not out there, sometimes. I hate things that are rigged."
…What'd he been talking about? Hot tears were blurring his eyes. "L-let's not fight. Please. If you'll try, I'll try. I'm tired, and if we can agree to make it easy on each other, my sleep won't be as restless. I'm scared, but if we can understand each other, it'd be a path to easing that. I want to be good, better. I don't want everything to be impossible to win. I don't want to lose everyone. Okay?" He pressed a kiss to Mia's head, probably getting her hair damp with the crying. "We figure things out from there. But if you promise to treat me carefully, I'll do the same for you-- then, maybe we'll both feel less guilty and selfish, some fucking day." Logan sniffled and squeezed his eyes shut, breathing a weak "Christ."[/tom]