i'll get you, my pretty, and your little rats too

Milo's chest heaved, aching, and he held Vincenzo tighter, slowly sliding down to the floor with him. He rubbed his darling's back, kissed the top of his head, and made muffled soft, reassuring sounds against his hair. He cried with him, because it wasn't as hard doing it like this as it was when you were alone.

He cupped Vince's face, looking at him, then gently kissing his tears and all over his face, accentuating the kisses with his continued affectionate mumbling.

"Too bad, because I do, and I don't care- I always have been a rebel," he said, always pressed up to him between words. "You're lovely. Being near you makes me endlessly happy. Everyone screws up sometimes, and I can handle it. I'm a tough adult who can make his own decisions." He nuzzled Vince's nose.

"I know what you're like, yes, and see what happened? I fell in love with you. I'm not leaving, not for any reasons like that. Not unless you fully, one hundred percent, without a bit of doubt want me to be gone. And I don't think you do. I definitely don't want to."

Milo smiled and pressed his forehead to Vince's. "I'm going to be stubborn here, you might as well accept that now. I love you." He kissed him fully, completely. He kept holding him, and didn't let go.

"I adore you," Milo said, voice hushed and intimate. "I'm staying. I love you. I need to be with you in any way I can. As long as it's with you, I want it. I'm here. Do you like pancakes? I'll make them for you tomorrow, if so."

As much as he put up a strong front, Milo wasn't oblivious to the weight of this moment- Vincenzo's vulnerability, his actual asking him to be here and hold him, rather than continuing to try and scare him away… it was definitely getting to him, tangling up intense emotions further, making him tremble but smile even more.

"That'll be easy, since I'm already constantly thinking nice things about you. You're not alone. Neither of us are anymore. It's been a lot, hasn't it?" This. Life. Either worked. "It's okay. I'm the same."

"You could really use some food in you, and then we can pass out. That sound good? Come on, I'm going to have to stand up to make it and it'll take a bit, thirty minutes or so, but you can keep touching me." He flushed. "I mean, just having a grip on my shirt like this is fine, or being pressed up to my back. Gotta have my front open and both arms for cooking, that's all, but otherwise…" He carefully ran his fingers through Vince's hair, petting.

Then, he pulled them mutually up to their feet, one arm loosely looped around Vince's waist. "Uh, and I can keep talking. I'm good at multitasking. Seriously though, fettuccine alfredo? D'you wanna eat that, or what? Help me out, I'm trying really hard to make my b-boyfriend food he won't hate." He looked at the ceiling, as though there was something interesting there, very flustered and a little guilty. "S-sorry, that slipped out... or, well, maybe I was super curious how it'd feel to say..."

Ah, Vincenzo was so precious. Both in the adorable sense and the 'you're important, never leave, if anything happened to you I think I'd have to kill people over it' kind of way. Hm.

He swallowed, blinked a few times with large eyes, then outright grinned at the acceptance, giddy all at once. He kissed Vince and gave another quick squeeze, resisting the strong urge to spin him around in excitement, then released him again and gave him another kiss.

He busied himself with cooking, boiling water for the pasta, then melting butter and cream in a saucepan, stirring in cheese after that. At some point Vince moved away to settle in at the table, which put a little restlessness in Milo, but he could deal with it by knowing he was doing this for the other's sake.

He had to dig around in Vince's kitchen a lot to find the utensils needed, but on the upside, it meant he was getting familiar enough with everything not to have to do the same thing next time. Wow, fuck, he wasn't dead! There would be a next time, many, many more of them, he hoped!

Milo started openly humming, very pleased, by the time he was finishing up. He mixed and coated the pasta with the thick sauce, taking a moment to test a bite of it. He was pretty sure it wasn't bad, but nervousness buzzed in his system distractingly nonetheless. He'd usually have been confident, really, since he cooked near every day and completely relied on his own skills there. He'd taught himself, and had been very determined to actually indulge, not just fucking eat anything he could to not starve. And right now, he was focused on better than just 'not the worst' for Vince.

While he dished the food up, he froze momentarily, hearing three quiet, but very heavy words from Vincenzo's direction. Did he imagine that? He thought he'd been more self aware and fine with how things were, but he felt dizzy and truly hopeful, needy, at the possibility he hadn't imagined it now.

Milo walked over, setting down the pasta and silverware in front of Vince. Then, he pulled another chair as close as humanly possible to the other, and sat down himself with his own serving.

He shakily reached out, taking Vince's face once more, touching, kissing him more deeply. He was attentive and yearning, taking his time, putting proper quality into this. Experimenting with how they fit, what everything of Vince felt like, memorizing and enjoying.

"That's wonderful," Milo praised when he leaned slightly back again, beaming. "Thank you. I wasn't… counting on that, you know I wasn't, but god, I'm relieved."

His face was burning by the time he closed his mouth and it began to sink in, mind nothing more than a mix of alarmed confused sounds, exclamation points, and ridiculous cutesy hearts. What? What? Love, him? Oh, christ, um. "Aw, f-fuck, shit," he mumbled, eloquent, running an unsteady hand through his strawberry blond hair. "I love you too. I love you." He'd repeated that multiple times already, but what the fuck ever, he wasn't getting tired of saying it at all.

He squirmed a whole lot and decided to eat, wanting Vince to be further encouraged to do the same. He was in a lightheaded, powerful lovestruck daze, though. His movements were clumsy, but the pasta really wasn't bad, he decided. He might even say some of his best, if he wasn't brought to such a modest, overly concerned state over making it for Vince. His love, his boyfriend. Oh, oh god.

Eating was good. He hadn't since lunch, and it was rather late now. He would've usually had dinner earlier, but… well, he was taking care of the both of them, right now. He was glad he'd pushed at it- especially so when Vince followed, and even ended up getting a second helping. Milo's chest was filled with pride, along with everything else, all warmed up and cozy.

"Yeah. I'm the same," Milo said, gazing at his love very kindly. He took his hand and laced their fingers together, giving a squeeze. "Normally, I'd clean up more, but… You're really tired, and need me, right? Okay. Let's go, then." He stood, gently pulling Vince with him. "Of course I'm staying. That's normal for a boyfriend, isn't it? I'll fall asleep with you, and then make you breakfast when we wake up." He was looking forward to it.

He hadn't been in the other's bedroom before, he realized. He hadn't done a lot of things yet. He flushed a bit and tried to ignore his sudden, new rush of nervousness. Anyway, it was probable that Vince was just going to be out like a light, wasn't it? Milo didn't have… anything to be nervous or excited about… he clutched Vince's hand more tightly, and wasn't about to let go until they got to his room.

Milo backed up a bit, firmly ignoring the panicky butterflies in his stomach and chest. "…Can't sleep like this, so, um." He took off his shirt without much bravado, then kicked off his pants, shoes, and socks.

He didn't think about his soft thighs or the slight curve to his waist, no. Not at all. He didn't wonder if his lack of certain parts, which wasn't usually something he cared about at all, was disappointing. (Except he did, oh, god, did he ever.)

At least his underwear was cute. Pink boxer-briefs with little white dots, as well as two tiny bows near his sharp hips. He looked at his feet, face bright red, and focused on that reassuring little fact so he wouldn't freak out over anything else.

Milo had never felt so much relief in such a fast rush, heartbeat erratic. Stress was beginning to leave him, but was also getting properly acknowledged in the same breath. His face continued to burn, and he felt a little like crying, maybe hyperventilating along with it. When he was pulled down, all exposed, he held onto Vince tightly again and didn't let go.

Jesus christ, he wasn't one to have so much fear, even when literally almost dying. And… he was afraid, but he still wanted to be with this person fully, in every way possible. So much want, need. He didn't even have to pretend he wasn't scared, it was okay, and he could still move forward despite it being there.

Vince kissing him and saying things like that majorly helped his anxiety- overwhelmed it with more of that need, heat, and gratitude. He still had the urge to cry, but it was for different reasons now. And he didn't, but his eyes were still large and honest. Far too open, for the man known as always being at least a bit grouchy and unruffled. That was safe, wasn't it? Being like that? Vince knew. He knew.

Milo was strong, it wasn't a complete act… and he was also like this. He had insecurities, and things got to him. He'd isolated himself for years, first in obvious ways, then subtle once he got to Manta Carlos. This was something a little different, and that was okay. Scary, but okay. He wanted… he wanted to give himself over to this person entirely, physically as well as emotionally, and fuck.

He shivered in response to having Vince's hands on him. Oh, god, he was feeling things so intensely. He leaned into every little thing, and his own heat was radiating on his skin, rougher breathing, and slight twitching movements. He tried not to squirm too much.

"N-no, I haven't," he said, nodding slowly, unsteadily. "Whatever happens, I'll probably be a little clumsy, and flustered, and it's… I really want you to do this, though. Keep going, please, and touch me however you'd like." He kissed Vince and let out a shuddering sigh, brushing his mouth against the other's ear. "Please."