I slept with someone in starlight academy and all i got was this stupid thread

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
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Bat Country
He'd lost track of the days since the funeral. They weren't much different than the nights only, instead of lying in his bed, he lied to everyone who asked him how he was doing.

Only, he didn't lie, because Lochlann wasn't sure if he could. He would say things like, "I've been keeping busy."

He hadn't been back to his apartment. The only things he took when he left were his necklace and a bag of clothes that was currently parked on Cabel's bed. He couldn't stay there for long. Some nights, he slept at Cabel's, others, at the bottom of the lake.

He couldn't decide if he was a monster or a human.

When he resting at the bottom of the lake, submerged in the mud and the shadows while the fish swam by oblivious to his presence, Lochlann felt the water over his eyes and wished he could cry.

He wished he could feel something, but he didn't feel anything.

Once again, Lochlann's girlfriend was dead.

This time, he had nothing to do with it.

he wondered if he was cursed.

In between classes, Lochlann wandered the halls. He'd started to develop a pattern to avoid the cafeteria for lunch break. He'd walk through the admin wing, up the stairs, around the hall, down the stairs to the tower, and then past the empty rooms.

He was walking through there today.

He wasn't sure what he was looking for.

@"Kyros"
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
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Bat Country
Hello, Lochlann

It was amazing how sometimes words were just words.

Lochlann didn't turn around. He didn't make any indication that he'd even heard her. He wondered, if he closed his eyes, stopped his thoughts...would she go away?

He didn't think so.

Better to get this over quickly, like a bullet to the head.

"What do you want?" he asked.

His voice was a mirror of hers.
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
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To anyone else, Lochlann justified their question with an answer. To Guinevere Haze, he said nothing.

Instead, Lochlann turned, just barely, and not even to face her. He studied her reflection in the mirror. It was insubstantial. He could see beyond her, out into the November sky and the barren trees that reached up to claw the blue with twisted fingertips.

He couldn't get past her out the door.

Lochlann reached up and slid his hands along the window. he was looking for the lock but, to his surprise, he couldn't find it.

No matter.

He'd use a chair.

"Go away," he told her.
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
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Bat Country
Why was he so upset?

Upset?

Five simple letters. Two vowells, three consonants. Her lips pursed together for a moment, like she was kissing the air, and then clicked into a hiss. The word was just like a kiss from a snake.

He could hardly believe the question. Her footsteps drew nearer and echoed in the empty room like gunshots. Lochlann's hands again caressed the frame and groped for a latch, but there was none.

He didn't turn to face her. He didn't have much time.

Lochlann swung his fist back and hit the window hard.

There was a crack.

The skin on his knuckles was split and bleeding, but the window wasn't broken.

Son of a bitch.

"Leave me alone,' he said. He took a deep breath and swung his fist back again.
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
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Bat Country
What was he doing?

Running. Like always.

He was tired of running, but at least he knew how to do it.

Her hand was on his and for a moment, Lochlann might have thought that their roles were reversed, that she felt warm and he felt cold, but then he realized he couldn't feel anything. He hadn't' felt anything in a long time. Had he ever?

"Trying to get away from you," Lochlann told her. "But I'm sure you already knew that. I'm sure you've been watching me."

Though she'd pulled his hand away from the window, Lochlann didn't even turn to face her.

His voice was hollow, but there was a tint of disgust when he said watching ringing like an illtuned bell.
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
Lochlann didn't ignore the signs. He was incapable of seeing them.

Once, Lochlann helped a librarian package up the books in the library's basement into large boxes, and taking them up into her office. There was a hurricane coming and she was worried the basement would flood.

"That's not any place to store books, anyway," she'd said.

Lochlann helped her wrap the books in plastic wrap and stack them neatly, one at a time, into the boxes. Near the end of the night, the order fell away, and the last box was haphazardly filled and duct taped closed with a big silver x.

As it turns out, all their work had been for nothing, because the storm sent a tree crashing into the library. It's rained directly into her office.

He felt like he was packed away in that box now, and Guinevere's touch was the duct tape sealing him away.

There was no saving him now. Since she was by the window, Lochlann realized the door was open. All he had to do was turn around and walk.

But he didn't even want to risk looking at her.

"Go away, Guinevere."
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
Why.

Another incredulous question. Her imagined her lips parting and holding that last note like a whine, or like a moan, even, but his thoughts went no further than that.

"Why?" he found himself echoing back her words. His entire body was rigid and tense. It might have seemed that Lochlann was a volcano ready to erupt, but he'd been dormant for a long time now.

"How dare you come here and ask me why, " he said.

The words were in his voice, coming from his mouth, but he didn't feel like he was saying them. It was someone else, in his body, and Lochlann was just watching them from far away.

He spat,"Why do you think?"
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
"What the fuck," he said.

For a long while, that was all he could say. Lochlann wretched his arm free from her hands, surprised at himself that he'd allowed her to touch him for so long. He crossed his arms over his chest as though that could prevent her from hurting him somehow.

"You're so full of shit," he said.

He was dreaming.

"Maybe I don't want to be alive, especially not if I have to see you," he said.
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
Inactive
Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
For the briefest of moments, Lochlann trembled under her touch.

It was nothing more than the start of a shake that disappeared as his body tensed further. She angled his face to look at her and though his eyes were phyiscally in her direction, Lochlann wasn't seeing her.

He was seeing Dani's body splayed out on his kitchen floor.

"Stop it," he said. "Stop. Just stop."

He ground his teeth. His knuckles where white except where the skin was bloodied. He felt like he was gripping the edge of the kitchen table. His heart started to race.

"What did you expect to get out of this? Out of following me here?"

He still wasn't seeing her.

"Does it bother you that much that you're not the only one following me? Is that what you wanted to hear? Well, you heard it. Now stop. Just. stop."
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
Inactive
Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
Lochlann pulled away from her as far as he could.

"Stop following me," he told her. "Go figure it out on your own."

He flinched when her hand moved from his face to his chest. He imagined she was trying to feel the scar on his chest. Probably so she knew where to aim, although it's not like she had any trouble shooting Dani. The only trouble she seemed to have was stopping.

He was thinking about her blood on his kitchen floor when Guin kissed him.

He didn't respond.

Sex was Lochlann's first language, but he'd gone mute.
 
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