I slept with someone in starlight academy and all i got was this stupid thread

[ReD]

Lochlann was packed away some place dark and quiet. Guinevere's mouth was on his, her hands trailed across his body, but he barely felt it.

He barely felt anything. He was in a box waiting for the storm to pass away.

"I can't," he said, but he didn't reaize he'd spoken. He didn't know he'd answered her at all. "I'm not sleeping."

He hadn't slept. He neeeded sleep. He couldn't escape this nightmare.

if this was a dream, maybe she'd stay with him.

 

[ReD]

When she kissed him, Lochlann was still, at least at first.

But then, he started to flinch, drawing back as though her touch burned him. He leaned back against the window sill and then sank down to his knees, as though the wall was unable to support him any longer.

"You didn't have to," Lochlann said. "You didn't have to do anything. but you did."

The walls in his box were too thin. They couldn't keep out the flood from the storm.

"I didn't want to be saved," he said, but it felt strange, like he was trying to lie. "I didn't want her to die. I didn't want anyone to die. "

 

[ReD]

Lochlann packed himself away, but that didn't stop him from lashing out now. He was surprised by the intensity in his voice, surprised by the words that poured out of his throat like a torrential downpour.

"They all mattered," he said.

Or, rather, he screamed.

"They all mattered, and they're all gone."

He couldn't stay here with her anymore. He had to get out of here. His skin was crawling and he felt too big and too confined in his skin. Lochlann was spilling out of the seems and he couldn't force himself back into the mold he'd been wedged into.

He pulled back his teeth into a snarl. His eyes were narrowed at her. He was looking into her eyes now, but he could only see his reflection staring back.

"You didn't save my life, you took it from me."

 

[ReD]

Lochlann's heart started to race. He could feel eveyrthing he'd been pushing back start to slip further out of his fingers. he felt like he was trying to carry water across a desert in only his hands; it was impossible.

He lowered his head beween his knees, wrapped his arms around his legs, and Lochlann tried to breath.

His head was swiming.

The walls were closing in.

She

was

sorry.

Sorry?

How could she be sorry? They were just words. They wouldn't bring her back. He couldn't hear Guin's voice over the racing of his heart. His skin was flushed and hot.

He was exhausted. He was alive.

"Guinevere," he gasped her name. He wanted to say, leave me the fuck alone, but he couldn't breath yet.

 

[ReD]

He didn't realize she'd touched him until her hands were at his pants.

He was on the ground and Lochlann didn't know how he'd gotten there. He didn't know anything other than the pain in his chest.

"Stop," he mouthed the words, but sound didn't come out. he closed his eyes and his head lulled to the side and Lochlann could have been dead, wanted to be dead, but he wasn't, so he swallowed and tried again.

"Stop," he said.

He opened his eyes but he wasn't seeing her. He was seeing his own face reflected back in hers. He hated what he saw there.

He barely felt her. He couldn't feel anything. He felt everything. He couldn't. He could.

"Stop," he said again.

Was she saying his name?

he couldnt' hear her over the blood pumping through his ears.

 

[ReD]

She didn't stop.

Lochlann squirmed. He wasn't expecting her to add her mouth to the mix and somehow, that seemed to draw a reaction from him.

"Guinevere, stop," he said.

He gave a low growl and pulled himself from her, holding onto her shoulders with one hand and tucking himself back into his jeans with the other. His arms were shaking, his whole body was, and Lochlann couldn't' get a grip.

It surprised him how easy it was to move her. She was so small.

She was small.

He was so used to think of her as towering and large, this domineering presence in his life like the ocean or the sun.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and lifted her up even as he rolled up, scooting on his butt, and then up onto his feet. He pressed her back up against the glass window.

Now, the view from outside was reflected in his eyes.

"Stop," he told her.

he didn't trust his body not to betray him.

 

[ReD]

"Stop," Lochlann said, but now, he was begging.

His voice sounded far away and desparate. He felt like someone else was speaking for him. he pressed her shoulders harder into the glass.

"I swear to the gods, Guin, stop or....or..."

Or what?

What could he possibly do?

Lochlann couldn't cry. He was incapable of it.

Lochlann swung his fist back and then slammed it into the window next to her. The glass didn't break, but it splintered just a little and as he pushed her harder into it, using the motions of her grinding to force her further into the glass, Lochlann wished was like she was.

"Stop," he said. "I'm going to leave now. You're going to stay here, and then you're going to stop following me, you're going to leave me alone."

She was screaming at him in a language his body was fluent in and he wasn't sure he could ignore her much longer.

 

[ReD]

Lochlann didn't notice the pill. he didn't feel it, because he was busy trying to pull away from her and untangle himself from her legs.

"Stop," he told her again. Lochlann pulled away from her and then took a step away, but his legs felt....wobbly. His muscles didn't want to cooperate. He was exhausted, and it was like the exhaustion was creeping into him and stealing what resistence he had left.

It felt good.

Except for the fact that the floor was getting closer and closer and Lochlann was barely able to get an arm out before him.

His knuckles throbbed and bled from where he'd punched the window. he was starting to drift in and out of consciousness now, but it felt good.

What the hell was wrong with him?

he didnt even care.

 

[ReD]

Guinevere wanted to wake Lochlann up, but the truth was, she was putting him to sleep.

He didn't know where she came from, only that she was ontop of him, rotating her hips up against him, and it felt good. He was coming in and out of consciousness. Each blink lasted several seconds and when his eyes were open, they were unfocused.

"Stop," he said, because it was the last word he'd had, but his body didn't seem to listen to him. The word came out slurred and his cock was stiffening beneath her warmth.

He was thinking about the night he was with Dani, the last night they'd spent together, and Lochlann knew he was cursed. No matter what he did, no matter who saved him, Lochlann could not be saved.

You didn't save monsters. You killed them.

"What...." he started, because he didn't know how he got here, on the floor, or how Guinevere was on top of him.

Maybe.

Maybe....

"It's all a dream," he said.

This was a nightmare.

That's why nothing made sense. He was dreaming. This was a nightmare, only, like all his nightmares, Guinevere was there and her body was doing these delightful things to him that he couldn't quite ignore.

 

[ReD]

His cock was hard and throbbing now. He could feel the warmth of Guinevere's cunt even through the thin layer of panties. She was always wearing panties in his dreams, because he loved the moment when they first slid away and the wetness of her cunt washed over him.

"Everything will be okay?" he asked, because it was a question. He shook his head and then rested it on the side of the floor. it'd be easy to say he rested it with his cheek pressed up against the floor because he was avoiding her gaze, but Lochlann's eyes were closed.

"No," he said. "I don't believe you."

But, he pressed up against her slowly, and her body felt warmer than it ever had in his dreams.

"I wish i could."