I keep a book of the names

Lochlann had been in the bookstore a little bit too long.

He had never been good at keeping track of time. If he really analyzed this, it would be because he grew up in a family that did not have clocks or made an effort to measure the passing of time. He struggled with keeping a normal schedule when he first began school and he was always embarrassed when someone asked how old he was because Lochlann had no idea.

He was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a dark hooded jacket that was partially zipped. His hands were bare and scarred as he perused the titles of the books.

Initially, he claimed he was there looking for textbooks for the semester. After he'd procured most of them, he was losing his excuse for lingering in the store and there was a moment when he realized he had no choice.

He approached the counter and kept his eyes trailed down on the counter, not wanting to be recognizable when he said, "Excuse me, can you help me find a certain book?"


——————
@I am Jay

Lochlann's goal of keeping a low profile was dashed immediately when she said his name, but not because she already knew him.

His eyes darted up to hers in an instant and in a way that was rather predatory. Of course, if she'd been at the campus for a while, this wasn't really an unexpected motion. There were lots of inhuman things on campus; Lochlann was just usually better at pretending he wasn't one of them.

When she explained from campus, Lochlann visibly relaxed. He hadn't realized he'd tensed up himself, but he lowered his shoulders and leaned forward slightly, keeping his gaze on her eyes.

"Yes," he said. He took a second to let his eyes trail away from her own to take in the rest of her appearance. He managed to do so without letting them linger too long on any one part of her body. He didn't see a name tag but then again, most small businesses didn't have them. He definitely did not recognize her, but that wasn't unexpected. He'd been gone for almost a year and, before that, he'd spent a lot of his educational time intoxicated by any number of substances that it was almost a miracle he retained any knowledge himself. But he was interested. He couldn't help himself.

"I'm afraid you have me at a terrible disadvantage," he flipped both his hands palm up on the counter in a gesture of defeat and grimaced. "Because you already know who I am."

He leaned forward just a little bit, creating a moment of intimacy between the two of them. He did this reflexively and he dropped his voice in much the same manner.

"So I suppose the first thing you can help me find is your name," he said.

Lochlann was unprepared for the handshake. He had never quite mastered the art, but when she tucked her small hand in his, he closed his fingers around hers and shook it. He swore he felt something. It was like a tiny pinprick against his hand and for a moment, Lochlann wondered if perhaps it was magic.

But no, it was just the unexpected pleasure of touching a woman's skin.

Her smile must have been contagious because Lochlann grinned back.

"Cat," he said, testing her name. He liked the way it sounded when he said it. he said it again, just because he could, and smiled again. "It's good to meet you, Cat."

When she said she'd been here since sophomore year, Lochlann made the assumption that it was the same sophomore year he was thinking of. They looked about the same age, provided there wasn't any magic that stopped her aging as a young adult. it was a possibility he always had to consider on this island.

"I think we probably came to the academy about the same time then," he said. "I transferred here from the states, if you can believe it. My grades were always a bit of a mess, though, so I was in that awkward limbo of regular and remedial classes most of that year."

He said the last bit with a tinge of embarrassment.

He took from her confession of study bug and the explanation of flying below the radar to draw his own conclusion about why they hadn't properly met before. Lochlann had a knack for getting into unwanted trouble, and though he liked to pretend this was the fault of his enigmatic rival, Guinevere Haze, he was taking more responsibility now.

"You're staying for college?" he assumed, but the end statement was still a question. He cast a quick glance behind him to make sure there was no one else in line but it seemed they were alone for the time being. He liked the idea of having her attention for a little bit longer.

Lochlann nodded. Four years ago....?

He struggled with the math of it, but no, that seemed right. It had been at least four winters, right? he thought so.

"I started late that summer," he said. It surprised him to realize that meant he'd been here before her, since halfway through the term probably put her in mid-winter. "I wish I started midway through! The rain in the early fall was terrible, and before that it was a lot of awkwardness just sitting around waiting for classes to start."

He chewed on the inside of his cheek while he thought of this and then shook his head, trying to push away the memories of those last four years.

Lochlann was relieved to hear that he didn't have to worry. He'd been doing an awful lot of that lately, and having a conversation with a nice person in a bookstore felt like an unexpected treat. He glanced down at the moment that she motioned to and his eyes became fixated on the penmanship.

He was embarrassed that he looked at it for a little bit too long--he hoped she wouldn't think he was trying to steal her answers. It was the handwriting and the paper. It looked like something from an old book, and though he'd deny it until his dying day, Lochlann liked books.

He realized he might like her a little bit more now, too. He was trying to ignore the growing interest, trying to keep himself on a straight and narrow path of good behavior.

He wasn't sure if this counted. But it didn't...feel bad. Well, not entirely.

"At least the general studies here are interesting," Lochlann said. She seemed a little less than enthusiastic about it, but if she was a book worm, not having a set goal must be frustrating. "I'm uhh...."

He hesitated for a moment and then shrugged as if he shouldn't be embarrassed.

"Agricultural studies. My parents uh, own a farm," he said. He looked down at her writing against and traced his finger against one of the letter without realizing what he was doing.

"The problem is I don't know if that's what I want to do, either," he confessed. It felt good confessing this to her and he smiled. He liked that he was smiling with her.

"This is probably the most I've smiled about it, though," he said with a short laugh. He was feeling a little bit bold so he said, "What time do you, uh, get off?"

If this had been last year, Lochlann would have missed the little cues in her speech and mannerism. He knew when she said new girl that this was, probably, her first real school. Lochlann could not remember a time when he wasn't moving. The academy was his first chance at not being the new kid but just being...someone. He wished his reputation was a little bit less infamous.

He thought about telling her this, but he'd picked up on the way she rubbed the back of her neck. He didn't know her well enough to place this motion so he didn't inquire. But she had him thinking now.

When she scoffed, he couldn't help it. He smiled again.

Gods, Lochlann wanted to say something just to have her scoff at it again. Sure, he'd been scoffed at my teachers, but it never made his stomach do a little somersault like that.

"Does it have to be fulfilling, though?" Lochlann asked. He seemed genuinely curious, so he elaborated on what he meant. "Have you ever found pleasure in doing something just for pleasure's sake, with no real plan or reason?"

He watched her tug her hair and enjoyed seeing the movement of her hands. There was something about the way she moved them that made him want to hold one.

He was surprised, too, because he'd told her more about his family and himself in the last few minutes than he had in most of his relationships.

He felt like he should watch his tongue, but he was feeling bold.

"Believe it or not, my day used to start and end with mucking stables," he said.

But oh, her next comment caught him off guard.

It was so painfully accurate, and it was one that Lochlann hadn't honestly considered himself. He'd never really thought about why he wasn't sure if he wanted to do it. He'd never really considered that it would be because he'd have to disappoint his parents, yet again, when it was remarkably lucky that they hadn't made good on their promise.

"Both, I think," he said. His dark eyebrows furled and his expression was thoughtful. He eyed her face openly again as if searching for something. He smiled.

He hadn't smiled this often in a long, long time. His face was actually starting to hurt.

He liked that she was forward. He liked that he didn't feel like he was playing guessing games with her.

"Yes," Lochlann said. "If that would be agreeable to you. I'd tell you that you don't have to, but I'm under the impression that you already know that you don't have to do anything."

Some of his reputation was undeserved, but some of it was true. And one thing Lochlann was confident about was showing someone a good time.

Only he was thinking more of coffee and maybe a place on the academy a professed study bug hadn't seen.