Green Isn't Your Color [ReD]

"Giant squid might be my favorite"

The drow chuckled as Cabel's leg around him pulled him closer to the alchemist, letting out a low purr as his fingers found themselves in his hair. He had such a weakness for fingers in his hair, it was a shame more people didn't try to put their fingers in his hair more often. After all, what better way to assert control over someone than yanking their hair back hard enough that their scalp aches with the effort and--

Wait. Shit.

His fantasies were getting tangled with reality again.

Well, reality was pretty great too, all things considered. He was about to get some sweet ass action going on between himself and Cabel, and nothing made him happier than ass action.

Sid towards him, ready to start some hot makeouts that might lead to some hot something else, before the other male mentioned something smelling like it was burning.

Now that he mentioned it, he did smell the faintest hints of something burning. But it didn't have the burning sugary smell of his fireworks. It had a weirdly saccharine chemical smell, like the bubble bath liquid they market towards incredibly young children. The dark elf pulled away. As much as he badly wanted to continue his conversation with Cabel, letting a strange smell go unchecked in a chem lab was probably a bad call.

And when he looked around to check he noticed his powder was...

Moving?

Oh god he was so high right now.

"I... dude is... that shit moving?"

"I've gotta write down this side effect. Did I put too much newt tail in it? There is no way we should be hallucinating right now, I don't do hallucinations, hallucinations are scary as fuck. Shoot."

Sid gave a small shrug as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure Cabel wasn't losing his shit too hard. No, in general it seemed that the alchemist's slowly thinning fireworks were doing a pretty good job keeping him from truly going off the rails. The drow was certain that the fact that their high was a comfortable sweet one also had something to do with it, but his smoke addled mind hadn't quite put that together yet.

"Eww," He said softly. "You put newt tails in your stuff? That's so gross man what did the newt ever do to you?" Sid placed a hand on his toned chest, looking shocked.

He looked even more shocked when Cabel was on his back, directing him to it like a pony. But he complied and took them both over to the table of drugs.

Sid watched in aw as it seemed to squirm and chirrup and move, before it looked up at them with two huge eyes and one teeny tiny one above and between its normal big ones. It had ears the size of its own head and two paw-like feet. It was fuzzy all over, and although Sid couldn't see any arms on the creature, he was certain he hat to have a pair.

"What is it?"

Speaking as someone who wasn't a huge fan of hallucinations himself, he could see where Cabel was coming from. He was more of a... psychedelic haze kind of guy. The more colors he could see at once, the better. Also, just in general, psychedelic hazes tended to make him feel totally great. They left him with the feeling that he was obviously the greatest person in the world and no one around could even try to measure up to his greatness.

Well, not that that wasn't true in real life, but it was a lot harder to get people to see his obvious awesomeness.

"I think detached is a word?" Sid said. He really wasn't sure. Being this brand of high made him a lot more confused than he was used to. But he could feel it fading away as his temperature started to rise and his body tried to burn the high out. It would take a while though.

"It's our child. Sid we have created a monster! An adorable cuddly monster. Who is a good monster? WHO IS a good monster?? you areee"

"Child?" Sid echoed, staring down at the little fuzzy thing as it bounced around on the table, shaking off the last of the powder that it had been born from. It looked about the same size as the average infant... but that was more disconcerting than anything else. "Dude I am not ready to take care of a kid man. They need diapers, and clothes, and boots, and dude, they need a college education dude I'm barely paying for my own college education like..."

Sid let out a quiet groan and looked at the kid. Oh well... he supposed he was a dad now.

"Let's name it... LemonSqueeze." Sid said. "LemonSqueeze So-kijak-Soket."

Sid reached out and pet the little monster's head, which it seemed to enjoy.

Sid would be the first to admit that he wasn't the best at dealing with expenses. Actually, let's not beat around the bush--Sid was terrible at dealing with expenses. He worked at the docks part time, not to mention that the school gave him an allowance. But mostly it was the money he'd pilfered from his family before he fled the city that was paying for his college education. And really he was starting to run out of money.

Education was expensive. And sad.

"Sid that's perfect! Look at him, he has your...drugs. And mine. But awwww."

"Yep." He said softly, looking at the thing that they had apparently dubbed Lemonsqueeze and smiled at it. "It's got your lack of eyebrows. Look." He said, poking the little thing in the head. It looked more confused than anything else as it stared at them.

Weird.

"I wonder what gender it is... Dude, do drug monsters have genders even?"

As he thought about this, he could feel his temperature starting to plateau at a temperature that bordered on being a high fever.

"Bro you're really hot."

"I get that a lot."

A pause. Then, "Oh, you meant actually. Yeah, no, that's how my body works out poison and drugs and stuff."

The drow laughed. For some reason Cabel's response to his eyebrow comment was funny. He got the impression that it wasn't supposed to be, but it seemed to be the height of hilarity to him in the moment. Like... like something that seems hilarious when it happens but when you move on and try to tell your friends about it they all just look at you like you're crazy for thinking it was a funny situation.

I guess you just had to be there.

He cleared his throat and tried to pretend to be in control of the situation. He had to be stern. Like a rock. He was a father now, apparently. He would have to teach his small drug spawn the way of the world. And--

Oh god he was a father now.

"Dude, we're like. Parents. Or something." He said, looking over his shoulder As Cabel attempted to check the sex of their drugspawn. "We have to actually raise this thing."

"Oh shit, what do you think it eats? Oh man, bro, I don't want to have to get another job, babies are a lot of responsibility, should we start looking at daycares?"

The drow thought about it. "My first guess would be drugs." He said slowly. "But then again, LemonSqueeze is made of drugs. So... would that be cannibalism?"

Hmm... would eating drugs be like... eating other people?

"Or like... would it still get high from drugs or like... fuck man..."