Getting a Book

To her surprise, Lila didn't feel afraid. Confused, maybe, but not afraid. She had absolutely no idea what had caused her immunity, especially as she hadn't really been around gifted creatures aside from her family before the last month or so. So nothing would've really affected her here, she thought. Actually, she wasn't even worried about why she wasn't frozen in time. It made her feel more secure around Victor, if anything, knowing he wasn't a threat to her. But still, it was strange that he had been honest about the power straight away. It made her want to use her power on him a little less.

Instead, Lila turned her full attention to the possible reasons for her not being affected by his powers. So first of all, if her existence was on a different timeline, whatever that meant. Could it be because she was an Angel, and was a non-human species? Or that she technically came from Heaven? That would make sense, she thought, apart from the fact that she had never been to Heaven. "That... Could be the reason, I think..." She commented.

The second reason Victor gave was by far her favourite. Having power from a powerful creature like a God within her? Awesome. But she didn't know any gods. She knew she would one day serve one, being an Angel, but she doubted any of them would put power into a semi-human servant they'd never met before. Plus, her parents were relatively young and uninfluential for supernatural creatures as far as she knew and the only other really powerful being she had met was the Angel in the library, but they hadn't known each other for very long and she probably didn't even have enough power to do that. "I'm not sure, I don't really know anyone who could do that," she replied.

And then came the third possibility. Something she didn't even want to think about. Not existing. That would be life changing, if it was true, and she desperately hoped it wasn't. Even though she didn't quite understand how she couldn't be real yet have the same thoughts as she assumed every body else did. To this, she said, "That's not really possible... Is it?"

Lila took in absolutely everything Victor had to say, a feat she rarely accomplished with people. But she was intrigued. She felt nothing but relief when he told her she was almost definitely real, and it was probably because of her species. Sure, she didn't have a god's power inside of her, but at least she existed.

"Too flawed?" Lila wondered at the meaning of that. In her eyes, she was pretty much perfect. "I'd like to see an imaginary being be less flawed than me!" It wasn't a good time. It was a time when Lila got way too over the top in her love for herself. But it was a fact. She was freakishly self-centered. Victor's comment hadn't offended her, in fact, it hadn't damaged her confidence at all, it just made him sound like an idiot to her. Who could think she of all people was less than perfect?

But apart from Victor's observation, Lila saw a potential relationship for them, even if it was just as acquaintances. The Angel was open to friendships, even with those who didn't think she was as good as she did, as long as they didn't compromise her.

Victor brought up the subject of the book again, and Lila was admittedly a little disappointed. Maybe he just wanted to get out of the conversation and on with his day. "Do you need that book then?" She asked. But as he continued with his stream of vocalised thoughts on her immunity, she resumed listening. "So its nothing to worry about then?" She checked.

"Oh, you find studying easy?" She asked. Lila despised studying. She thought it was a complete waste of time and teachers should test more practical skills that would stay in her mind rather than a bunch of facts she read the night before. That being said, she remembered stuff relatively easily, but she would much rather the information be her friend's birthday than the date a war ended. Victor was a bookworm, though. Bookworms tended to enjoy studying, or at least learning unnecessary information.

His comment about flaws made her bite her tongue. In her old life, she would've been angered at that, but she was coming to realise she mightn't be the center of the universe. Slowly, though. She was still in denial. "I- I- Ugh, what am I saying? Okay fine, if that means I actually exist."

She still thought very highly of herself. That wasn't going to change from one comment. But Manta Carlos had been good to her, even if she hadn't noticed it. In a town packed with non-humans, Lila was finally gaining her humanity. She hated it, but the truth was that she wasn't superior to anyone here. She was just... ordinary.

Victor said he had a semi-perfect memory. Lila wished she had one of them, but instead she had a brain that liked to remember the good times and nothing else. Perhaps there was less pain that way? Even if she wasn't aware of it, it was almost certainly a factor in why she thought so much of herself. As an Angel, she was created as the image of perfection. Purity. But she had always just assumed that none of her father's Vampire DNA had affected her in any strange way. Maybe, just maybe, that was what made her impure. Made her make mistakes, and have a selfish nature. For Angels were created to serve others, be a purely peaceful species and be absolutely, perfectly selfless. But Lila served herself, loved gossip and drama and was almost totally selfish. That seemed like a vampirish personality. It was the first time she had considered being any kind of hybrid species, or have any Vampire in her whatsoever.

"So, semi-perfect memory huh? Does that make things easier? Oh, and can you remember like right back to when you were a baby?" Lila was too curious for her own good. She would ask questions all day if she could. That and talk about herself. She liked to know a full story, both sides and with her an opinion of her own. It was her way of discovering things in the human world. She had considered, even aspired to be a news reporter one day, but as her powers emerged the dream slipped away. "I wish I could remember all of my life back in the human world..." She sighed, trailing off. There were so many things she had already forgotten. So many aspects of everyday, powerless life erased that she would have to readjust to human life if she ever went back to it.

The whole idea of non-existence baffled her. She couldn't think of how someone who didn't east could, well, be around, so even though she tried to work out what Victor meant, she had no clue. Regardless, she nodded and said, "Okay," relatively convincingly. Enough so that he would be satisfied with his explanation.

Actually, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. She had ho idea what it was, but her previously seamless backstory which she had smoothed over by filling in details had seemed considerably less true to her now. Did she have a secret about herself she didn't know?

Victor told her he couldn't remember back to when he was a baby. She wanted to accept it and move on, yet she was paying extreme attention to everything he was saying, trying to find the missing piece she didn't know about herself. Maybe he just developed his powers later on, she told herself. Maybe he didn't always have them. With that, she decided to get over it because she was very, very different to Victor. She didn't know how his story could help her anymore. Plus, she was getting tired of all of the confusion recently. Especially in the library. She made a mental note to avoid it in future. There were too many crazy intelligent bookworms who made her too curious. This wasn't who she was. She was different to this.

Letting go of the question completely, Lila said, "Oh. Sorry." The reason she apologised was because the last person she asked to many questions to went on an absolute rampage. She had no desire to repeat that. "So do you remember your dreams?" This question was similar, but it counted as dropping the previous one as this was about the present.

Lila had always been insecure. In the human world, she concealed this with her powers but here others could see right through her masked personality. Nobody seemed to care for her image she had created, they cared about the self-absorbed girl with no compassion for others within and how to fix it. She wanted to get over her narcissism, though she would never admit it, even to herself.

At Victor's comment, Lila was reassured. Although she couldn't quite get her head around what was going on, she understood what he was trying to get across. Chances were, she existed. That was good. Perhaps not existing would've done the girl some good. But she would never know, nor would she even consider the idea. Instead, she said, "Okay, good, I exist. Tanks for clearing that up."

Maybe she should stay away from bookworms in future. She was too inquisitive.