Fractured Dreams & Broken Rules

Shadow didn’t even remember why he was here. He didn’t know where he was and had just found the first closed off and dark place to hide. He hated this place. Since he’d been here, he’d been pushed into uncomfortable situations, been exposed to unexplained alarms, shoved into the presence of Daniel’s parents, chased down by a demon… and well… Shade was just about to lose his mind. So, he was hiding, in the darkness of the closet he had found and locked himself in. Shadow hated it here. Hated it. Worse, he knew he should love it and that filled him with immeasurable guilt. Why couldn’t he just be grateful? Shade sniffled softly, wiping away a rare tear from his eyes.

He just wished he could go off on his own… but he didn’t know how to take care of himself. He’d survived on his own, but just barely, he certainly didn’t want to give up the warm bed and hot food he snuck into his room. It was too hard being here and it was too hard being out on his own. Shadow felt just as stuck as he had before. He didn’t know how long he’d been here and he didn’t really remember how he got here. All he remembered was wanting to be anywhere but in the presence of people asking him all of those questions, particularly about his education. He was ignorant, he knew, he didn’t want to keep being drilled about it. He’d fallen into the Shadow world and followed the linked shadows to the nearest, darkest room.

The time dragged on, but Shadow didn’t mind, here in the darkness, there was no time, no fear, no stress. He had heard voice on the other side of the door, but no one had bothered him here. The room’s shadows had saturated, leaving nothing, not even a small light coming in through the door cracks. Shadow had calmed down a while ago, but leaving this shelter was too risky. He rested his head against the door and listened to the whispers of people on the other side of the door. People who were like him, but so far removed from him they may have been raised on different planets. They’d laugh at him if they heard him speak or seen him hide from the sound of a ringing phone. The sounds slowly died out and still Shadow waited. Even in this closed off room he knew the sun had set, the darkness thickened as his power grew.

Now, he thought was safe, he hadn’t heard anything for a while. Slowly, he rose to his feet, feeling weaker than he had since he’d left the hospital. There they didn’t make him talk to anyone, they brought him meals and hadn’t made him deal with other people. Shadow had yet to brave the dining area while there were people around and had been stealing from the kitchens as much as he could without giving away anything. The kitchens were his main goal, leaving his safe closet. Slowly, the door creaked open, revealing a portal of seemingly depthless darkness. It was from that that Shade emerged, the shadows sliding off of him like tendrils of water. He surveyed the room, he must be in a gathering area of some sort…

Shadow froze when his scan fell onto another person, a girl. His first thought was to go back into his safe closet, but he was rooted to the ground in surprise. Maybe she didn't see him and he could just sneak out... he'd really like to eat something...

Shadow stood frozen watching the girl as she turned. Too late. Spotted. Blast! Shadow was about to sneak back into his closet, but something stopped him. There were tears in her eyes and streaks down her face. Shade looked at her with dead eyes, trying to observe her from behind his own shield but the fact of the matter he is knew how she felt. Alone and sad. And Shadow had no idea what to do now. Should he leave? Stay? What did someone do when someone else was crying? He knew what he did. He hid under his bed and waited for the feeling to pass. He’d never let someone see him cry. No, never. It was too dangerous. He didn’t know these people and who knew if they’d be motivated to punish him for his weakness.

She was beautiful, he couldn’t not notice. Her hair appeared long and pink to his flawed vision, but he took no note of that, in his eyes a lot of people had pink and red looking hair. He stared at her, taking in everything. Frozen as he was from indecision, shadows swirled around him. There was no one to tell him that his staring was toeing the line of rude, but he was honestly surprised to see someone who was sad as well. It seemed just when Shadow was starting to get his bearings in this strange new place, something happened to completely flip his world upside down again. Shadow was seriously considering thinking of himself first here and fleeing to his own room. Shade spoke softly, “I’m sorry.” He didn’t mean to disturb her, he knew he’d want to be along in a time like this. Shadow edged along the wall toward the door, as if afraid to turn his back to her.

But… when he’d cried in the hospital it had been nice to feel the nurse’s arms around him. It had been what held him together when he felt like he might actually fall apart. Shadow stopped before the door, realizing that even if he didn't know what he was doing, he wasn't there anymore. He didn't have to see someone else's pain as relief that it wasn't his own, he didn't have to turn his heart cold and ignore it. Shade didn’t think he could offer much comfort, but it gave him an idea. As bad as he was at communicating, he was a good listener, even if he didn’t really understand what someone was saying to him. In fact, it sometimes distracted him so well from his own problems that it worked out well for him as well. God, being a person was hard! He turned back to her, not entirely sure what he was doing. Shadow took a deep breath. “Are you okay?” He asked, mimicking the words spoken to him so many times since he’d gotten here. He braced himself for anything, he was very ready to flee into the safety of darkness.

Shadow’s heart was racing and he wondered again and again what he was thinking? Why didn’t he just leave her? It wasn’t his problem, he’d been able to tune it out well enough, but… He wondered what that meant. Was this a way to atone for that? For a moment, Shade expected her to do what he had always done. She’d wiped her eyes and now she would say… He blinked in surprise. That was not what he expected. Shadow stood for a while, struck again by confusion and unsure of what to do next. Shadow squirmed internally, torn between wanting to run and feeling guilty about leaving. It wasn’t that he wanted to stay, he just couldn’t convince himself to leave.

Shadow crept across the floor, his footsteps muffled against the rug and his eyes watching the girl warily. “I’m sorry,” he said and picked up the small box of tissues that rested on a side table. Hesitantly he held it out and picked his way forward. Shuffling along the floor like he was unsure if he was expecting to be attacked when he got within range. Eventually, Shadow reached the point where he decided he was close enough and the tissue box left his hand, carried by fingers of darkness that spread from his own fingers. Shadow himself took a few steps back, giving himself back the space he decided was more comfortable.

What was it that people usually did when they were upset? Crying, well that was covered, but was he supposed to do something now? Would she want him to leave her alone? He knew he would, but he’d make that happen. She hadn’t moved from the couch. Of all the people to help out, Shade was perhaps the worse person for the job. For all his internal debate, Shadow’s eyes never left the girl. And if someone didn’t know what was going on behind his eyes and the fact that he didn’t actually see anything, and yet he stared straight at her. It was like there was nothing going on behind his eyes, they were flat, lacking empathy or sympathy or anything… He blinked as he seemed to wake from his thoughts. “I… should leave?” he asked hesitantly.