Private Finished For goodness sakes, Where is my self control?

Lochlann nodded.

He took a deep inhale of the cigarette and held the smoke in his mouth until it started to burn. He exhaled.

That was like Guinevere.

She was smoke and he wasn't exactly sure what was happening to him whenever he breathed her in.

Instead, he asked, "What do you want to know?"

It felt unusual to reveal what he knew about Guinevere to him. In the past, the words would have spewed out easily. But, now, after he just had Charlie help him and risked so much to get what they needed, Lochlann felt a little bit reluctant.

"I'm pretty sure she's going to kill me," he said. Then, he admitted, "I mean, I may have asked her to, but only because I'm pretty sure she's going to kill me whether I ask her to or not. So this way, at least, I'm taking away the satisfaction, you know?"

Probably not a great introduction, but then again, neither was his introduction to Guin.

"You met Guin?" Lochlann asked. His eyebrows arched up and his bottom jaw slackened, though he managed to not quite gape at Charlie.

It was surprising, but Lochlann supposed that, in this case, it might be okay. Guin probably couldn't kill Charlie since he was, well, undead and such.

"And she...ran off," he said.

Lochlann laughed. Holy shit. Guinevere ran from Charlie. Did it mean she was afraid of him? Why the hell would Guinevere run from Charlie?

"Did you show her your...you know," Lochlann said, lifting his eyebrows and dropping his voice into a whisper. He wiggled the fingers on his left hand like legs. "Spiderpet?"

Lochlann was quickly depleting this cigarette and he pulled out another one, lighting it on the butt of his last one before stepping on it and putting the squished remains into his pocket.

"Okay," Lochlann said. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, took a drag. Held the smoke. Exhaled. "Guin was one of the first people I met on the island. She's hot as fuck, she's a straight-A student, and she pretty much never in any trouble."

Lochlann ticked these facts off on his left hand.

"She does yoga and other than that I don't know if she has any hobbies. She flies under the radar by being totally fucking normal but.."

Lochlann licked his lips.

"She's a fucking psycho," he said. "And no one believes me. Why would they? I'm Lochlann Cabyll-Ushtey, I fall asleep in class and jump out of windows, I stole liquor and accidentally summoned some hot babes from another dimension into the ballroom, I must be making this stuff up."

Lochlann frowned for a moment and then looked at Charlie, assessing the lich. He asked, "Do you believe me?"

This was the first time someone believed him.

Not just someone, but an adult. A professor. Someone with connection to the school.

Lochlann was quiet for a moment while he mulled this over, taking in Charlie's words and twisting them in his stomach, trying to feel whatever this feeling was. He did snicker when Charlie mentioned the parts about not trusting someone who did yoga.

Then, his smile faltered again, because a year ago he'd met a girl who did yoga. He woke up in a lake with blood in his mouth and she'd vanished from the island. No one could trace it back to him--she'd told several people she was going home, after all--but Lochlann couldn't forget that night.

He'd gone to Guin's then, too.

Lochlann flipped his hand over to show the scar on the back of it. He traced it absentmindedly.

"She shot me in the leg," he said. "And she stabbed me three times. Or is it six maybe?"

He frowned. It was three times, but she'd cut all his scars open again last year, so was that six? Or just three?

Lochlann cast a glance at Charlie and then out at the expanse of black ocean. The waves matched the sensation of feelings rising and falling in his gut and his heart.

"She stalked me and followed me home two years ago. After my girlfriend died," Lochlann explained. The rest of his sentence was flat and automatic. "It wasn't me. Her body is in the cemetery."

Another cigarette. He as going to go through the whole pack before they got off the boat at this rate.

"I didn't think I was coming back, Professor, I thought I was going to be done here. I went home, and straight-A-student-Guinevere-Haze was sitting in my kitchen with my mom. "

The professor knew what he was, Lochlann realized. So he'd know what Lochlann's parents were. What his family was.

"I thought I'd stay home, But I did come back, and it wasn't even because of her, but when I came back, someone had beat Guinevere fucking Haze within an inch of her life," Lochlann said. "And I might have hated Guinevere, but I wouldn't want that for her. So I guess what you should know about Guinevere is that I'm terrified of her because she keeps fucking stabbing me and also that there's someone out there capable of hurting a young woman very, very badly."

Lochlann bit his bottom lip.

The last part he dropped out quietly.

"And she's a good kisser."

Everything Charlie said was true.

Lochlann had lifted an eyebrow when the professor asked him about the man with the hammer and the corner of his lip twitched upwards with the story. Lochlann's head still ached like it'd been hit with a hammer; he needed a drink in the worst fucking way.

Everything Charlie said was true, but it was also incomplete.

It's not that Lochlann doubted his wisdom. For all his flaws, Lochlann at least knew that the people in his life that were older than him had lived through more and had more experiences. It was just that Lochlann did not always trust that the adults in his life had his best interests in mind. Though Charlie had earned some of Lochlann's trust, Loch was still a flighty thing and it could change in a heartbeat; it's why Lochlann couldn't fully express everything in his history with Guin.

Instead, he said, "It sounds like it should be easy, shouldn't it?"

Lochlann took a deep breath.

It was obvious that Lochlann wasn't human, but he so rarely acknowledged it. He shied away from his fae heritage like a horse shies away from an unfamiliar obstacle.

But right now, Lochlann addressed it. He tried to ignore the unsteadyness of his hands, the pounding in his head, how dry his mouth felt, how dark and deep and welcoming the water looked.

He said, "Guinevere breaks the rules of everything I am."

Lochlann wondered, not for the first time, if this had something to do with just how long Guinevere had his amulet. Maybe it changed something. Maybe whatever weird magic Guinevere had rubbed off on it.

"Guinevere and I aren't exactly friends," Lochlann said. "I'm not sure I could convince her to show up. I don't even expect to see her half the time and then there she is."

Lochlann frowned.

"I moved a lot," he said, testing the waters of this story carefully. "My family immigrated when I was younger. We stayed with some people for a bit, then set out to find a new place. But it never lasted, so we moved around quite a bit, until, well, right before I came here. We'd finally settled down."

He shifted his weight onto his other foot. The ocean reflected off his eyes. Lochlann's fingers twitched and he clung tighter to the cigarette, feeling the paper over it.

"So I've been here longer than I have almost anywhere else," he said. He was thinking, for a moment, about Adelene. if she was still talking to him, if she was still around, Lochlann might have been more willing to introduce her to Charlie. They'd probably have a lot to talk about.

That brought a faint smile to his face. But again, to Lochlann, it highlighted the point he was too cowardly to make: Lochlann was not used to having someone in his life as long as Guin.

"You've seen a lot of people die, Professor," Lochlann said.

It was a question and a statement.

"Do you think drowning is a bad way to go?"

"I wouldn't say we have a relationship at all," Lochlann laughed. It was a dry sound, more like a cough, and he swallowed immediately after. The first thing he was doing when they got back was drink a gallon of water and take a shower. Maybe seven showers. He could still smell juvie on him.

Maybe he could break it off with Guin. Maybe he could just end it completely. They weren't really enemies anymore, where they? They only had the promises between each other to contend with.

Lochlann shifted his weight again and resumed smoking while Charlie responded.

Lochlann nodded. He wondered if this was an inappropriate question, but he was feeling a bit more bold when it came to asking the professor inappropriate questions. Lochlann figured that Charlie could always tell him to shut the hell up.

"How did you die?" Lochlann asked. "I mean, the Big One, I guess, since you're like immortal now, so I don't really know if you died a bunch of times."

Anything could be peaceful if the person was unconscious, Lochlann noted. It's not like he wanted to die, but he figured it was inevitable, so he kept it in mind. "What do you think is the easiest way to go if you have to stay conscious?"