dealing with the blues (gomorrah) (mikh)

@"Poptart"

"Let's see about that then," said Teddy, and he, out of nowhere -

- kissed Gabriel on the lips -

and then took a shot. His expression was flat for a bit, then furrowed in thought, then shook. "Nope, I think I'll stick to girls for now."

Upon seeing Gabriel looking like gravity just shifted ten different ways, Teddy curved his lips into an exaggerated expression of hurt. He put one hand on his back and said, "Hey, you don't have to be that disgusted. That's just rude."

His free hand quickly shot out and grabbed the prescribed bottle, and in one motion he had it opened and drained into his mouth. It felt fine for the first half second, but then Teddy noticed that he was on fire.

"Wow. I haven't been burned this badly since old Bart put me down 2 months after I was born. Real nice," he casually commented, observing his fiery state. It hurt, but it hurt nicely, which I should really stop thinking, he said to himself. "Any chance this might make me grow more stuff - oh, there we go."

Now there was this blue creature with horns growing out of the back of its neck, flaming in the club in more ways than one. Teddy smiled and offered one searing hand to Gabriel and said, "Speaking of fire... how about we go out and paint the town a more orange shade of red..?"

@"Zeronos"

"Sir, I love you right now but not that way. I'm not a two-way revolving door. Probably!" His voice dropped to a low monotone and he continued, "Mana construct not equipped to parse this emotion."

On a more serious note though, Teddy declared perhaps the only truly honest thing he'd said all night from the point where he mocked Marina up until now. It probably would have gotten across better if he didn't say it like a drunken Scotsman though. "I don't know who or what I'd like but I'd like to be a real boy like Pinocchio. Which is... not exactly a good metaphor. Am I drunk? No, not really."

"Hang on. I'm not drunk and I'm still suggesting arson. Interesting," Teddy mused, sitting down with his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands. He wasn't sitting on a chair at all, just miming the motion, and pretended to contemplate. Or he could actually be contemplating for all he was worth. It was impossible to tell, even for him. "Then again, I am horned, extra-armed, and on fire."

He didn't exactly know what Gabriel had in mind, but with the way he currently was... it was pretty much going to be impossible to conclusively pin anything on him. And he was feeling a little bit sinister right now, which pleased him. "Arson is only a little adjustment away from art..."

"...let us paint. Unless I'm picking up on the wrong things but if I'm not let us paint."

"Y'know, lady in there called me a demon once," Teddy mused, eyeing the vodka. It looked more enticing than other things at the moment, and he licked his lips. "She said I 'had the stench of a demon on me'. Now, I'm not sure how accurate this is, but I'd like to think I smell magical, not demonic."

He reached out and took the bottle. "Gladly."

Teddy stepped outside - or rather, phased outside until the hand holding the vodka was at the door, at which point he opened the door from outside - into the stale air. He took a deep breath that held no relevance to his well-being in the slightest, and then coughed out a tiny blue wisp of smoke. "Hmm... I have horns and I'm on fire. But I'm still blue. Also, you might want to put out the door, I think I set it on fire when I walked through. Cause I am just that damned hot."

He laughed at his own low-level jest and then abruptly cut off the laugh. "Seriously though. Did I put it on fire? I'm not sure, I'm already burning and it's getting in my eyes."

The bottle of vodka popped open with a clean slice from a knife procured from who knew where - a knife that just as quickly popped back into Teddy's pocket. Miraculously, his clothes were still on him, despite the burning. "Good thing I invested in stuff made from my own stuff. Mana doesn't burn as much as you'd expect."

His arm raised the bottle, held it up high, and then tipped its contents into his mouth. His color changed from bright blue to transparent, and now there was just a bunch of burning clothes floating around on fire, some shards of glass on the pavement, a horn attached to nothing, and a few human arms dancing the macarena on an invisible torso.

"You know, I was thinking to molotov the hell out of that vodka at first, but why do that when I can just ALLAHU AKBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR -

Without warning, Teddy broke into a sprint screaming and dashed through the church's doors, setting them ablaze. For a while there was nothing to be seen from outside, until from inside came an extremely loud voice, all baritone and unfittingly beautiful.

"Miserere, miserere
Miserere, misero me
Pero' brindo alla viiii - taaaaaaaaaa!"

Out of the wall beside the broken door jumped Teddy, hitting the pavement with a loud thud and a roll. "Any song requests? I think I found the PA they use for those 'renounce sin' regular broadcast things. I am going to put on a performance that will make angels weep. Or, you know, one of them."

He shrugged off the fire on him and dusted himself a bit. "Friendly tip: stop, drop and roll doesn't apply if you're not obedient to the laws of physics."

"How lucky can one guy be -
She scorned me and now you see
Like that book verse said, quote
'oat' -"

- he sang, perfectly aware that he was both botching the song and still aflame, rapidly changing hues and burning in technicolor. He strolled lazily through the main hallway of the large interior, serenely observing how everything was starting to warp. The church, naturally, was simply a massive illusion, something Teddy had discovered a few weeks back by simple observation. Or rather, guessed - he couldn't be sure if it was alternate space or if it was illusion as he'd seen the back and the place was much smaller than it should be basing on the inside.

"The room's burning completely black
I'd hug her but she's not yet back
Like a fella once said
Ain't that a kick in the head?"

In all honesty, there wasn't really all that much animosity between Teddy and the reverend. There were perhaps times when she would call him evil, and would tell him to renounce his ways, but other than that, there wasn't much else, and certainly not enough to warrant aggression. He'd have to make up for that with probably flowers or donations or something later on.

Teddy strolled into the now distorted room by the side of the once grand main chamber. Everything had gone up in flames, revealing a gray and unassuming frame, except that the altar made of stone at the very end was real. "Do you think these carvings are song lyrics that I could sing and maybe summon God or a god or gods or Cthulhu?"

He reached out to touch the stone whilst humming, and then slid right through. Evidently, the stone couldn't quite catch on fire, but he found something interesting inside. There was what appeared to be a hollow compartment holding - oh boy that's interesting I should look into that - something. Quickly, he phased through the stone and burst out the other side with something lodged inside him. It was a rather ornate sword of strange make, which didn't really matter at the moment because fuck it's a cool sword I'm taking it -

"My head keeps spinning
I got a thing and I'm grinning
If this is just the beginning
My life is gonna be
Be-autiful!"

A huge chunk of ceiling fell down, and the glamours on the building were all but spent. There the church was, a monument made of ash and dust.

"Much better like this, yes, much better."