dealing with the blues (gomorrah) (mikh)

@"Poptart"

This night went from hero to zero so quickly, Teddy thought -

"Okay, that's enough narrating myself."

Teddy had been wandering for the past three hours after he ended up getting evicted. He was due to get all his things and leave within the next three days, and as such only had three days before being totally homeless as opposed to simply being technically homeless.

There wasn't much he could do about it - he did have money to get a new home but there weren't that many options at the moment. He made a mental list of places he could check in the next three days, which soon enough transformed into a list of songs he should start singing while walking around.

Lost in his thoughts and various Dean Martin song lyrics, Teddy wound up at The Strip, where the lights lightened up his mood -

"Teddy boy, stop narrating yourself, dammit."

Now he was standing in front of Gomorrah. He'd never been inside, nor had he been anywhere near it before, but he heard that non - humans had some sort of special privilege there. Entry and discount, apparently? Having nothing better to do - not that he ever had anything to do with himself - he stepped inside the doors and immediately felt overwhelmed.

"A whole new wooooorld -" he sang as he stepped inside with a flourish and a smile, taking off his longcoat and exposing his glowing blue arms. He walked with the beat of the music, his arms and face strobing along, glowing bright and dim to the beat. God, did he feel like a total boss at the moment, remembering his epic exit from the party, and now his entrance here.

Just to drive his awesomeness home he put on a pair of sunglasses and headed straight to the bar. With an almost sliding motion he sat on a chair there. "Boss mate! Let's see... lemme have a Dino Martini for starters - heh - yeah, just a martini for starters. No - no, wait, how about we visit Margaritaville, Teddy boy? Yeah, that seems like a good idea - boss mate, a margarita instead."

To the bartender's credit, Teddy's antics did not seem to bother him. The drink came out quickly, and just as quickly, Teddy drowned it, reveling in the tolerance he inherited from his brother / father / whatever the term was. Now he was glowing light blue - green, the margarita suffusing into his form.

This night was going to be awesome.

"...okay, that narration I'm letting slide."

"Yes, I most certainly did my good man! Join me on this most auspicious night in my quest to see what the hell else I can do! Boss mate! Another drink... lemme think, lemme think - give me a, uh, give me 9 Lives!" No sooner than he finished his order did the drink arrive in front of him, and just as quickly, he downed it and began to glow yellow. He leapt back onto the floor and began strobing, pulsing with a golden glow as he danced poorly to the music.

He spun and threw his coat back to his seat. Now he was messing around with densities, trying to see how much more his body could do with the colors. "See, I only found out now that I am apparently a walking glowstick - let's see how much else I can do."

Teddy scrunched up his fists and tensed up, transferring most of his mana to his face. Now almost all the light flared from his face, with his arms dimming to the point of near transparency. He was a walking glaring spotlight for all intents and purposes now, shining his light at the ceiling. "Oh damn, this is awesome! Ehem. Hang on... I have an idea."

With a cough, he cleared his throat and faced Gabriel, assuming an unnaturally deep voice. The light came from his empty eyeholes and arms now, but his arms were folded behind his back, holding his sunglasses. "Gabriel. My name is Thaddeus, but you can call me Teddy. There is no time to explain. Come with me if you want to live."

Another spin and Teddy was facing an empty patch of club, and shooting out beams of light from his fingers as though it were a gun, all the while laughing excitedly. "Why did I not know I could do this crap? I've been missing out on so much!"

"You know what sucks about being magic? Apparently I cannot be drunk. Seriously. I feel absolutely nothing right now. And I think I can even channel the alcohol out - wait, lemme try. This might be a thing."

Teddy scrunched up his face, the yellow color flooding it, the rest of him turning back into being blue. The glow grew more and more intense, more yellow and vivid, moving into his eye sockets. His nonexistent - or rather, transparent - eyes became golden yellow, shining and shimmering. "Wait, I think I'm doing it - whatever it is! Someone hand me a glass - ooh, thanks lady! Damn, the service here is good. I should drop by more often."

The lady that gave him a glass with perfect timing simply smiled, and he smiled back. He leaned forward and put the glass under his chin and began to cry alcohol into the glass. Once there was no more yellow in his face and the glass was half full, disappointingly, he did not apparently conserve alcohol properly; but then that meant that he was indeed capable of consuming alcohol and thus, getting drunk - "Also, I should stop narrating myself. Yeah, that seems like a good idea."

He raised the glass and tipped it toward Gabriel. "If my calculations are correct, and they're not, I assure you - then this is going to taste horrible. Here goes anyway... to science!"

The drink went down smooth, and not quite as horrible as he originally thought. It lost a bit of flavor, though getting something bought once and drinking it twice was a fair enough bargain for that bit. The yellow glow it gave him was fainter now.

He headed back to Gabriel, throwing himself once more at him and putting an arm around his shoulder. "You - you're a great man. You got a great sense of style, a suit and you know how to cut loose... I'm assuming. You probably get all the ladies you want, and so, tonight - you're going to teach me how to live. Ha! Nah, too early for that."

To the bar they went, Teddy leading somehow. As they went along he hummed an old tune, and an unattended shot of vodka caught his attention. He excused himself for a bit, picked it up, and danced around for a bit, all the while singing.

"Everytime it rains, it rains bourbon from heaven
I've found out each cloud contains bourbon from heaven
That good old whiskey's fallin' from north to south
Make sure you're head's drawn well back -"

- he tossed the glass's contents into the air and caught it with a gulp -

"- open your mouth!"

He snatched two glasses of bourbon from a nearby waitress and turned to face his new friend, feeling the party well up within him.

"Don't you know, you'll get a glow, along the way sir
And in fact, you always have
A built-in chaser!

So when you get under
Don't get under a tree
Just walk in the rain -"

- his voice built up to a big finish as he attached himself to Gabriel again, one glass in his hand and the other under Gabriel's face -

"and get stoned wiiiiith meeeee!"

@"Poptart"


Teddy squinted at the potion, and his aloof, idiotic expression disappeared, replaced by a vaguely serious look. His eyes, though not particularly visible by any means, were slightly narrowed, and his lips were curled in a dry, faint and softly threatening smile. It wasn't any overt show of dislike, but rather a very subtle and intimidating expression. "This isn't going to do me any good, is it, Gabe?"

Then he put the drinks he had in hand down on the bar, and slapped off the cap of the elixir. One hand went to the elixir, and another shot around Gabriel's shoulder. His expression relaxed and reverted to that look of idiocy, and he said, "But who the hell came here to do good things? We're here to make mistakes and do all sorts of stupid crap, aren't we, Gabe, you handsome devil? To mistakes!"

He downed the drink in one go, wondering what it would do as it stayed in his throat for a while. "Well, nothing seems to be - whoaaaaa!" he exclaimed as a hand shot out of his back, tearing through his shirt. "This thing's real handy - goddamn how many hands will this give me?" he yelled out as three more arms shot out, one more at the back, another at his chest, and for whatever reason, one off the top of his head. The three on his torso were similarly just made of mana, but for reasons unknown the one on his head turned out to be a very feminine arm made of what seemed like real flesh and alabaster skin.

After it seemed to have settled down, and his vision became technicolor, Teddy grabbed onto Gabriel with the chest hand and the one off the top of his head as he hunched over, two hands covering his mouth. "Fuckin' hell, mate - this is..."

The two arms at his back flailed around for a bit, Teddy trying to get the hang of moving the rest of the arms. They didn't seem to like obeying his commands in the slightest, and it took much struggle to get them to do what he wanted, which was "grab the iced tea and a glass of vodka".

Before he finished the rest of his sentence, Teddy downed both drinks and changed in hue again, now looking like a walking Long Island elemental, except that the arms on his back seemed... disjointed. Their biceps were transparent from the vodka, and Teddy excitedly said to the rainbow that was Gabriel, "...fucking awesome! Whooooo - weeeeee - yeeaaaah! I have no idea why you'd stock things that give extra arms and rainbowfy everything but goddammit this is cool!"

He staggered for a bit, the pulsating, distorted technicolor vision growing taxing on his balance and orientation. He stumbled and fell to the floor, but he managed to stop himself from falling completely with his chest arm, and he slowly righted himself on the bar stool. "Man. I am seeing the greatest pride parade ever right now. You go and - dude, you... not fair - you also take some random potion! I can't be the only one messed up, man! Wish you gave me extra mouths so I could concert instead but - seriously, cool as all hell."

Teddy turned to the bar again and slurred out, "I - Aiyaaaah - give me an obscure reference. And give me something as fucked up as what Gabe just gave me so he can drink it. And give me one of any technicolor drink you have."

The bartender only shrugged at the request for an obscure reference, and handed a randomly-picked vial, which Teddy covered instantly in his jacket, and a seven-layered drink which he downed and assumed the color of. Now he was instead of a Long Island elemental a fabulous Long Island elemental. The covered potion he handed to Gabriel, saying, "I have no idea what this is. You probably do, but go drink it anyway. Man do I feel so awesome today!"

In celebration of his newfound color, Teddy jumped up and yelled out, all the while strobing in seven colors, "KNOCK KNOCK, I LIKE COCK!" and laughing to himself. "Wait, will people take that seriously? ...hmm, well, who gives a shit."

@"Poptart"

Teddy did a spit-take, Long Island Iced Tea spilling out the side of his rainbow-colored throat in the most psychedelic matter possible, multiple arms flailing out of the way. He laughed for a solid ten seconds, wiping prismatic tears from his eyes. "Oh my god. You are soooo green. And flowery. You pretty little motherfucker... why couldn't you have been a girl... or why can't I be drunk enough to not give a damn? I already got the colors for it anyway. I'M HERE! BUT I'M NOT QUEER! Probably would be if you had long hair though. Like, really long."

"Fiiiiiirewoooorks... hang on, I knew what they were. Shit, I knew this." Teddy snapped four of his hands, leaving one free to keep on downing drinks for him. Each snap widened his idiotic grin, the sharp sounds translating into weird rainbow-colored strobes in his vision. This was not the best state of mind for any decisions, to say the least.

...then again, those decisions were fireworks.

A look of realization and a shade of bright, glowing yellow came upon his face. Two hands wiggled their fingers plottingly, while two others stretched out on either side. "Fuck yeah let's set off some star-spangling bullshit - hey, did this potion have a 'curse more' side effect? Not important. But... two things first. Scratch that. Make that three things."

Teddy leaned over the counter again, intent on having an out-of-world experience like no other. The hand on his head bent and called to the bartender with one awkwardly feminine finger. "Hey. Give me something random. From the, uh, heavily-medicated magic section."

The bartender nodded, and once again Teddy had to wonder what these people were or where they came from. Quickly, three different bottles came back, one curiously shaped like a dragon signet filled with a bluish-red mix, one like a regular beer, and the third - what shape was this? Whatever it was, it curiously bright green.

"Okay, thing number one - where do we fourth of July? I - well, I'm fine with here but the admin just miiight not be. Number two - think you can score me a tail or wings or some tail? And number three - pick my poison for me. I trust you to make the choice that will ruin my life in the most fun way possible, hmm? Whatcha say?"