council couple

"All you need to deal with that is a rope. Use it to climb over the wall, then strangle and shank him, grab all the cash," Milo explained, eyes alight. "Like an ugly, orange piñata." He wondered if he could sneak in a murder on a campaign break this week, just slip away for a while for some relief. He might snap otherwise.

"Same difference, as far as I'm concerned." He shrugged. "You're stuck with one dickbag for a long-ass time, often until they decide to do everyone a favor and croak, or get themselves murdered. Anyway, you've got no right to criticize democracy if that's your ideal. I'll take my chances being stuck with fairer group idiocy as opposed to one permanent idiot. In fact, you could argue it leads to more creative results."

Milo responded eagerly and gladly, though it made the eventual pulling away more regretful. If he really did go for groceries, he'd need to be quick with it, rush back with the hopes of Vince being kind to his poor, gay fiance. He flushed in embarrassment as a light sweetness, honeyed and reminiscent of a fresh spring day, seeped into the air around him. Come on. He was already obvious enough. He hardly needed this curse to add to it- snarking about it once had clearly been a mistake.

He sputtered at the slap and glared at Vince, shaking his head. "Seeya later," he said with a huff, spinning on his heel to escape. As soon as he started lurking, however, Vince tapped on the window and gave him more instructions. He squinted. He guessed they both knew each other well. He wasn't sure what to do, as Vince was ready to wait him out by napping, and that was adorable.

He finally just sighed, and talked to some rats about sticking around, reporting to him if anything interesting happened. He needed to get to the store right away and buy a grocery bag of holding, apparently, 'cause hell if he had a damn car to put all this shit into. He was confiscating some of this money he'd been given for campaign funds, he swore to god. It was the least Vince could not-purposefully do, seeing he was still up to something.

Milo stared, zoning out, at the jar of strawberry jam in his hands. What… was he even doing. He couldn't buy the whole goddamn grocery store's worth of food, jesus christ. If Vince wanted that he was going to have to go with him next visit. He did stock up on more, however, keeping what he had and hadn't seen in Vince's fridge in mind. This was husband training. Vincenzo was a huge nerd that forgot to eat properly and buy things when he got too invested in one of his projects, whether it was academic, menacing- or most commonly, a mix of the two. Milo would take care of him.

As he was getting checked out of the store, a rat entered through the automatic sliding doors, alarming the worker at the register. He had to offer exasperated reassurances that yes, this was his friend, and yes, it was perfectly clean, thank you very much. He spoke with the rat in little squeaks, and ignored the cashier's uncertainty on how to react to the situation.

His expression grew stony, though he of course had known what was coming. He slid the cashier a wad of cash telling him to keep his stuff safe, that he'd be coming back-- sometime to get it. The bribery and intimidation factor both worked wonders.

After quickly exiting the store, went a little deeper into the city, going for a public portal directly to the academy campus. He flashed his student ID card and was soon let out at the dorms, easy peasy. He wasn't sure if he'd arrived before Vince or not, as he was unfamiliar with the bus schedules and had been briefly slowed down by shopping, but he'd lurk around to investigate. He'd only know for certain when he got a glimpse of slim blond angel or caught the personal scent he was most familiar with- that of his chosen life partner- in the air.

He wasn't going to confront Vince right away. He wanted to know exactly what he was doing, and not be seen before that. Full rat in the shadows mode.

Admittedly, Milo was a little excited. If what he'd been doing before was husband practice, this was job practice. Private investigator career, you were so gonna be his. Thanks, Vince. Marrying an infamous criminal who'd broken like, every law had its perks after all.

He'd managed to get to the school before Vince had, too! He was damn proud of himself. Well, that was that, Milo was fully energetic now. He followed after his fiance after watching him get off the bus, keeping a fair distance behind but tracking his movements. He watched Vince go right to Magic Studies, the building he tended to spend the most time in for classes. Undoubtedly significant. Milo entered cautiously, keeping low and to the walls in the indoor space.

He snuck through the second floor hall, and waited a minute to go up to the last room. Quieter and better than any mouse, Milo peered around the edge of the door at Vince.

Those looked like posters. It took less than a second for Milo to connect the dots. Oh, dear fucking lord, was his life ever an experience.

Milo padded up silently. When he was close enough that his movement and presence was about to be registered, it was too late, he snatched right Vince off the table, one arm looped around his waist, and grabbed a poster out of his fiance's grip with his free hand.

He took in the details of it fast, since he was certain Vince would be kicking, clawing, and screaming. This wasn't even a poster Vince himself had made. It was sabotage, his face pasted onto resources stolen from other candidates. This was one of the most immature and amusing things Milo had ever seen.

"Seriously? Like, really? We're doing this, huh? I see how it is, and don't think I'm gonna let you get away with it without some healthy opposition."

Gnaw to your heart's content, punk, Milo didn't care. He was the toughest rat around, and absolutely more sturdy than his darling, evil cat of a fiance.

"Was this meant to be a pleasant surprise?" the strawberry blond asked, very dry. "'Cause clearly it won't be a secret much longer, this is flashy as fuck, the gossip will be immediate and endless from the moment you publicly present yourself as a candidate." Well, that certainly worked to get more attention on the elections, he supposed. "Were you hoping to see my outraged face in a crowd of horrified onlookers to your campaign? Do you want me to take you on in a dramatic manner? I'd just like an idea of what exactly you're thinking."

After Vince successfully squirmed away (cheating with the monster arm, of course). Milo just crossed his arms, watching Vince collect posters from the floor and air. He groaned. "I meant that you could help me with things, and we could spend time together through it, be a team. You're brilliantly smart, Vince, it would've been lovely to have some non-malicious assistance from you. I didn't suggest running because you showed zero interest, and…" He gestured vaguely, referring to the shenanigans occurring now. "But I would've talked to you more about it if you'd told me."

He made a face next, looking unimpressed. "Vincenzo. I don't have posters. It'd be impossible for you to mess with mine even if you'd wanted to, because they simply don't exist, therefore your not taking them doesn't tell me much here."

Milo took a deep breath, and gave Vince a look, hands on his hips. "Didn't we just discuss how democracy works and doesn't work, Vince? Didn't we just do that? If you're going to fuck with me, I'd prefer it be in the other way."

"I'm not lecturing you! I'm talking. We're talking. This is how we talk, half of the time, it's not strange or intended to be overly insulting. I'm matching all the snippiness and arguments you've gave me first, y'know." Milo took more breaths. "I don't… I don't care if people vote for you or anything, Vince. I'd be fine with you helping me, but we seem to have some different ideas here. Competing against me fair and square is fine too, I don't have a problem with it. And I refuse to not stick my nose in my fiance's campaign."

Milo blinked and turned as Vince went around him. No, what, they couldn't leave things like this, he didn't like that. Vince could throw fits all he wanted, but not with a bunch of misinterpretations and negativity towards Milo, who loved and adored him despite his antics and difficulties- even secretly for them sometimes, as terrible as that was. Listen, he was… charming with it.

"Vince, wait up! Where are you going?" Milo called, picking up his own pace to go after him, mild distress catching in his chest. "Fuck, c'mon, you know I didn't mean it like that! Love!"