But a snake will look you right in the eyes [DerLampman ] DISCONTINUED

@"DerLampman"

The man in front of him had barely finished his first sentence after the yawn-at which Sebastian had scoffed, for the man was not the only one who was meant to be at bed at this time, biting the inside of his cheek at the same time so as to stop himself from yawning as well-before Sebastian had his mouth opened again, ready to interrupt. The man however, didn't give him enough time to do that, as he continued to speak, and once again, Sebastian found himself biting on something inside his mouth-that being his tongue this time, for he guessed that the man would not take kindly to being truly interrupted. By the time the man had finished speaking though, he himself was not sure he wanted any more. Instead, he simply scoffed again.

He did not know the answer to the message of that story. He knew, theoretically, that there were people in the world who had it much worse than him in just about every way, but that knowledge for him was in the same rank as simply knowing that there were no diamonds in the sky, just giant balls of gas. It was something that was true, but did not affect his life in any way, and especially not in a way that would make his own problems seem smaller or bearable in any way. His hate was still his hate, and just as there, as well as every other emotion he had ever felt-or in some case didn't feel, and his powers were still completely and utterly out of control, which was also something he had come to accept as a fact of life-he did not even hope to learn how to control them any more, he merely wanted for everything to return to how it was before. And that, that was something he knew. Thus, after scoffing softly after the man's words, he raised his eyes towards him and said:

''My powers may be mine but they have not listened to me once in my life'' He had tried hard not to let his bitterness show in his words, but failed to succeed, his face showing slowly forming a frown full of distaste as he continued to speak. ''And this, this is no 'manifestation' of them or whatever, it is just the snake inside me going more out of control than ever'', he said, his face full of hate as he spat out the word 'snake'. ''That is all'', he whispered, clenching his fist against the backrest of the chair, his knuckled going white from the amount of pressure he put in doing so. He tried to add something else to his speech, something about the fact that hearing about others having it worse was not to make him feel better in anyway, but his mouth dried and his throat closed. What he had already said was more than he had meant to speak anyway.

''I am not whining!'', Sebastian said, gritting his teeth as he jumped to defend himself. Whatever angry insult he was about to spit out however, died while still on the tip of his tongue as he found himself distracted by his teacher's actions. ''What the hell are you doing?'', he asked, his anger winding down as he fell back to his seat, slightly confused as he watched the man in front of him stick his face in a bunch of roses he had just made appear on his desk out of nowhere. Sebastian found himself staring confusedly at the teacher for some time, fighting off the yawn set of by the teacher's own, before he finally found enough presence of mind in himself to shake his head somewhat angrily, frown and then go back to answering the man's questions...though he was not sure he entirely understood what the man was asking him, exactly.

''I am not a snake'', he snapped in the end, going over the man's words in his head and getting stuck on 'snake being by nature' each and every time. ''I...can just turn into one'', he finished, his frown deepening yet again. ''I don't know why. I just...can, and...'' He hated it. He didn't want it. He wanted to pretend that he couldn't do it, hide it and act as if he was not a shifter at all. He did not want to learn how to control it and he certainly did not want to talk about it. Somehow, though, it was becoming more and more clear to him that he won't exactly have a choice in the matter though.

''And it had gone out of control after..., he whispered, his voice much quieter now as he fought with himself to get every word out, his body literary fighting him every step of the way. Another scale appeared above his eyebrow, his brow spotting such a deep frown by now that it was starting to get a headache. Just what he needed at such an early time, at such an idiotic place.

After I fell apart while trying to talk to my boyfriend, he tried to say, and almost choke on the words. After I fell apart and build myself back up wrong, he tried again and instead of words he only managed to produce three more scales on his hands.

''Recently'', he finished in the end, growing frustrated and angry again, this time at himself. He didn't want to talk about it, any of it, but somehow the fact that he actually couldn't, that there seemed to be something stopping him, made him angry. He did not want for anything to have that much control over him, which was really why he hated the state he was in, as well as his powers, that much. This was him being out of control, his powers having control over him and he didn't want that, he wanted to be back in control, back where everything was sort of normal, no matter how feeble and weak that control was. Only...

Wasn't he in this state exactly because his control was so weak? Because he knew nothing, could do nothing, because everything about this was so much beyond him it was not even funny? He sighed, his head falling down and hitting the top of the chair's backrest. He was overwhelmed. He did not want to think about this, it was too hard, too big, too much. Couldn't he just wake up the day before everything had gone to hell and be grateful all of this was just a dream?

Apparently not, for one he had opened his eyes and raised his head, he was still in the strange botany room, the man who was supposed to teach him was still smelling roses, literary and he was still spotting his unwanted golden jewellery. Biting into his lips so hard he almost made it bleed, he sighed, than took a deep breath and spoke as best as he could, carefully wording his answers so that he didn't accidentally set himself off yet again.

''No, I have never talked to my powers'', he said somewhat snappishly. Just because he had decided he would talk did not mean he had to be mature about it. He was tired, and not just because he didn't get enough sleep last night and was up far too early in his opinion. He was tired from thinking about things and from wanting them to stop, and that unfortunately meant that he would, well, snappish while he talked.

''How do I talk to a tingling in my blood?'', he asked, thinking about how it felt to have Seduction flow through his veins, through his whole body before manifesting in his body. ''To...to a thing in the back of my mind, a place, something I can't even define but know that will trigger this'', he said waving his hand as if to indicated the deep, seductive tone of his voice, ''if I poke it strong and long enough? How do I talk to that? Or even about that? I can barely put it into words'', his knuckles were back to being white from the strength he was using to hold onto the backrest, but he couldn't put much thought into that right now. He was using all of his mental strength to continue speaking. ''And how do I talk to a part of myself which is not even human, but something else, a snake? Part of me that wants to spot scales every time I get a little angry or sad, part of me which enjoys sitting in the sun when it is almost hundred degrees outside and everybody else is melting into puddles on the side walk? A part of me that is just...different. How do I talk to that, tell me? Or about that? Who would even understand? And how would that help?''

His strength was beginning to wind down now as well, following the same path his anger took, only this time it was not because he was distracted, but simply because he couldn't go on any more. Not for not at least. Closing his eyes again he took a deep breath and tried to get back to that place in which he was a few minutes ago, from which the view was better and his determination to get through this strong enough to carry him through all of this talking. It would take him a while to find it, though, he knew. Hopefully, long enough for his supposed teacher to finish whatever that it was that he was doing with his roses. Ho wondered if the man had even heard a word of what he was saying, or would he be forced to go through all of that again. He didn't know if he had enough strength left for that hidden anywhere.

Sebastian's first reaction to the answer he had received was to get angry again, to once more raise his voice, still full of Seduction, and argue about pretty much everything the man in front of him had just said until his throat went raw, or the man finally believed him when he said that he was not a snake, that it was not under his control...that he did not care nor felt comforted by the stories of the man past...whichever came first. However, he had stopped himself before he could start, for not only did he have a strong suspicion that the former would happen much, much sooner than later, but also because he could see that it was not leading them anywhere. They each kept saying the same things in turn, over and over, as if they didn't even listen to one another, each chasing his own point as if he were a dog and it a tail. The would never convince each other of anything, he could see that. Not like this at least. He sighed, for that meant that there was only one other option left: he would have to listen.

Once again his first reaction was to argue, this time with himself. He was right and this man was wrong, he was not whining, his abilities really were out of control... However, he did not have the strength for that any more. He had spent it all on being as open as he could, and it seemed like it had gotten him nowhere. Maybe he should just give in. Hear what the man has to stay. Last until the scales were gone, or perhaps just until the end of the class. Something. Anything, for what he was doing right now wasn't working.

And when he thought about it again, what he was doing before wasn't really working either. Not properly, at least, not as it should, right? He didn't know any better though, at the beginning, was just working with what he was burdened with, and later, here...he didn't really care, because he had stopped caring about everything and every one, and was content to just let the world flow by him in thin, grey waves. He did care now however. He was sick and tired, and angry. He wanted the scales gone. He wanted better control. He had already decided that, before his surge of energy had died yet again. He was starting to work himself into another one right now, though. So what if the teacher didn't believe the word he had said? So what if he though he was just a whiny brat, who knew nothing, has not faced a real problem in his life? So what for everything else? He didn't care, though it was not the same kind of not caring as before. This time he did not care, but was not going to let everything go pass him any more. This time he did not care because he would just continue on doing what it was that he was doing, and believing, before. He had some minor corrections to do before he could do so though, so he would just use this man in front of him for now though.

''Fine'', he said, sighing as he gave in, though he was no longer as meek as he was a moment ago when he decided he would do so. ''What would you have me do then, oh great and wise plant maker?'', he asked, sarcastically, as he righted his body and looked the man in front of him right in the eyes. ''Whose name, by the way, I still don't know'', he also added after that, his voice strong and clear under the Seductioni, almost toying on the edge of being sarcastic and bitter.

@"Der Lampman"

As the man in front of him refused to introduce himself, saying he would to it later, and only to someone more than just bitter, Sebastian considered, for a short moment, telling him that he'll just keep calling him 'This Idiot Teacher' in his head for the rest of the class, for he truly had no intention of controling his bitterness in any way, shape or form. He had stopped himself however by reminding himself that he had decided he was going to listen not irritated his (for now) teacher even further, because it has been sufficiently proven, even for him, that that road lead only to nowhere and beyond.

Besides, the man had said 'made an effort'. He could make an effort. There, he was already making an effort not to intentionally provoke the man even though a part of him, the one that was still very much against listening and biting his tongue even when it was for his own good, still wanted to do it, very, very badly.

Thankfully for all the parties present, that part of himself was greatly outnumbered by all the other parts that knew better, wanted the scales gone and were actually smart and could control themselves.

Breaking himself into all these parts probably wasn't healthy, though, he thought as he bit his tongue yet again when the man told him to wait, and should probably be addressed at some point. That point however wasn't now, as the man was soon asking him to tell him more about his powers after the snake-like thing brought him back coffee of all things. Sebastian wondered if he could get a cup.

''I don't know about them being interrelated'', Sebastian said, eyeing the man's coffee with just a little bit of envy. ''I don't know much about my powers in general, really[/b]'', he said, giving a small sigh before he continued to speak, ''But yes, there is the snake thing, and well, this'', he said, waving his hands through he air in front of him in order to indicate his voice. ''I call it Seduction. It pretty much does what it says on the box'', he finished with a small shrug of his shoulders.

As the man in front of him nodded quietly before explaining that Sebastian's voice was actually irritating him rather than doing what it usually did-making people enamored with him and more than willing to listen to everything he said, at least for a while, the young man found himself slightly taken aback. It was a strange feeling, as he did not exactly have any warm feelings towards his power himself, at least not at that very moment, yet still there was something disconcerting about hearing other speak of it that way, especially in a context which clearly told him that it was not working on them.

''Usually, it just makes people want to kiss me'', he said, shrugging his shoulders, and ignoring the comment about his speech being entitled and arrogant, having decided that for now he would ignore every irritating comment that would came out of The Idiot Teacher's mouth in favor of trying to control himself and learning something useful concerning his scales.

''I already told you I do not know much'', Sebastian repeated, his voice getting slightly angry despite his decision. He did not like this, being accused of something simply because he did not know more about his powers. It was not like there was somebody in his family, or anyone, at all, who could have explained that to him! He told as much to the teacher.

''My parent's have no powers'', he said, explaining himself. ''And neither does any extended family. There was nobody who I could ask about more. There was nobody who could tell me more'', he said, gritting his teeth again. ''It is just me, randomly, for some reason'', he muttered, frowning at his own hands.

''So it would seem that will have to not appreciate whatever it is that you intend to do'', he said, not looking forward to it in the least.