Private Finished Beginning of Something Awful

As soon as Zach got out of the community centre, he pretty much started running. He would've sprinted if it wasn't for Ama also being there. He hadn't been this angry since he was a child, stubbornly throwing a tantrum due to something petty. But he wasn't a brat throwing a tantrum now. Back then, he would've only been able to pick up something moderately heavy. Now he could become a demon who could lift 3 tonnes.

No, he wasn't scared. He'd dry retch than be scared of Broen. No he was angry. Furious. His form changed to that of armour and red cloth. His demon form. He couldn't stop himself shifting, but he had to stop what could come after. Right now, he was a demon who could lift 400kg. If he couldn't stop himself, he would rapidly become an out of control demon who could lift just over 3 tonnes. A very dangerous demon who could hurt Ama... and he didn't want that.

He had picked up his speed, and he realised he went into exactly what he didn't want when his speed went up to the extreme. He probably outran Ama quite a while ago, seeing how he was currently running at 40 miles an hour... He finally slid to a stop, conveniently but a decently sized rock. Not a boulder, but a big rock. He just punched it. It split right into half, and Zach stood there panting with his arm out. He stood stiff, almost statue like.

@Lucidity

Zach started pacing back and forth. His hands clenched tightly, he could barely feel the pain in his fingers. That was the downside of being in this form... this frenzy. His body didn’t restrict itself, so his own strength harmed him. This was no different.

He picked up the larger half of the rock he just shattered. He continued pacing as he held it with complete ease. How he paced, with his eyes casted to the ground, he looked like some caged predator.

He made a noise of frustration and he threw the rock into the ground. It definitely went down an inch and a half, with various parts of it breaking off. He slapped his foot down, crushing it once and for all. He immediately sat down, cross legged as he stared downwards.

@Lucidity

His hands remained clenched, but he did look at Ama’s hand. He would never admit it but it did help. Even it was a fraction, it helped him ease the grip on his own hands and let his body relax. He wasn’t surrounded by people, or... those two. He was alone with Ama, and he truly appreciated that it was her.

He wouldn’t have been able to stand Jay seeing him like this. He knew he was linked with her from her reaction. He hoped she went home instead of searching for him. Mostly because he knew she would ask him why he didn’t come home the previous evening. He doesn’t plan on ever explaining that.

He slowly reached his hand to hers and took it in his own. Pain in various parts of his body emerged, and places where it already existed intensified. But he breathed a sigh of relief for what it meant. He was pulled out from frenzy. He wouldn’t hurt Ama, or himself anymore than he had.

@Lucidity

Although Zach held Ama’s hand, he held it loosely. Tight enough that he was holding it but... loose enough that his hand was almost limp. Partly because he afraid of himself. All it took was for him to squeeze too hard and he’d crush her hand. Even if she could heal, he didn’t exactly want to hurt her. Although still a bit limp, his hand did tighten its grip a little.

This form meant his face couldn’t be seen. His eyes were the only thing not blatantly covered, but even then the hood made it difficult to see them. Add in the fact he was intentionally not looking at Ama’s face... He wasn’t giving any emotion away. He just sat there and listened to Ama.

His mothers said it was alright for him to feel angry. For a while, he felt that he was fine to feel anger. He really planned to tell Broen to piss off, but he didn’t have that energy anymore after the past couple of days. Zach felt in the wrong. His mothers overreacted, he shouldn’t be angry. He did the wrong thing, no one else did. He deserved to be told that. Deserved all the insults. He wouldn’t say that to Ama’s face, especially after how she reacted when he said about what happened at first. He lifted his head to look at Ama for the first time and slowly nodded. “Yeah... okay.” He held a neutral tone like he always had, not giving what he truly believed. He couldn’t upset her because of his own weakness. He wouldn’t bring anyone down.

@Lucidity

Zach’s eyes widened in surprise when he saw her. Having Jay as a younger sister, he was pretty good at spotting when someone was upset. But he was taken completely off guard when he saw that with Ama. He felt deep rooted guilt when she spoke. The part of him that made him feel this was his fault wanted to say no, but the rest of him did want her help.

He used his free arm to pull down the hood and bandaging, letting Ama see his face properly. He tightened his grip on Ama’s hand, not caring if it was Vox Somni or human right now. It was hard to explain what he wanted right now. Yes, he wanted help. So very bad. He wanted someone to tell him he was justified to feel this way, to comfort him, to listen. But he also wanted to be left alone, to wallow in his thoughts. Even then there was the part that wanted to scream and destroy.

For a while, Zach opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but would close it again. He finally inhaled and squeezed Ama’s hand. “Ama... I’m sorry...” He didn’t look completely to the ground, but his eyes did lower a bit. “I...” He had to come to a decision for what he would say. Due to his nature, he knew he would stick by it no matter what. Because he was talking to Ama, he wanted to doubly do so. He finally opened his mouth to speak again. “I do want help... it’s just it’s hard to explain what I want. I’m angry, yeah. But I also feel it’s my fault, that they’re right.” Not even a part of his nature, but just him as a person, Zach never really opened up to people like this. Usually it was only his family, and very few close friends who he lost touch with a while ago. But here he was in the park, doing just that.

@Lucidity