A Peculiar Boy...

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I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
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Carefully, Brendon avoided Mr. Ardel’s gaze completely. His cheeks were still
slightly stained with pink from his earlier embarrassment. He took his mother’s
outstretched hand and stood by her side, feeling inwardly happy that all of the
shopping here was finally over. The owner’s scent was still so powerful, clinging
to him everywhere… and right now it felt as though it would linger for hours.



It should have bothered him more than it did…



Brendon wrapped his arm around his mother’s and stood close to her side as
he looked up to her and asked in a shy voice: “Are we leaving now?” He was
excited at the prospect, happy to… t-to not have to be in danger of… of being
kissed…!



His mother kissed him affectionately against his forehead and told him that they
would be taking their leave now. And Brendon couldn’t help but to steal another
glance toward the owner… his eyes narrowing somewhat as he gave him a
soured, childish, look.

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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
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The moment he laid eyes on Mr. Ardel, Brendon’s breath caught in his throat.
His soured, childish expression, quickly gave way to one of shock and embarrassment…
as he saw the raw, dark, anger brewing behind the man’s piercing gaze.



Brendon’s eyes widened and he instantly jerked his gaze away, his cheeks dark
and his heart pounding harshly. W-Why was he looking at him like that…!? H-He
made him feel like… l-like he had done something terribly wrong…!



“I, I didn’t—,” He began but quickly cut himself off, becoming more embarrassed
and mortified as he realized he had spoken out loud. His mother’s attention
lowered to him once more, but Brendon quickly buried his face against her robes
to hide away.

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I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
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His mother was confused by his actions, by the words that had escaped his mouth,
and she gave him a soft pat on the head and held him back in return. As Mr. Ardel
spoke up, her gaze lifted to him and then to all of the books she had purchased.



She was frowning, slightly, wondering what had gotten into her Brendon and why
he was acting this way. He had been rude to the man before her, he had been
jumpy, and had even pleaded that they leave the store because he had gotten ‘ill’.



Her frown remained as she began to walk to the front of the store with Mr. Ardel,
her boy still clinging to her and hiding away at her side. She shouldn’t stand for
this behavior. But, the behavior was very unexpected. Her boy never misbehaved
so openly.



“Mr. Ardel, would you mind delivering the books at a later time today?” She spoke
up to ask the man, slowing her advance toward the exit. “I’m afraid I still have
more shopping to be done this morning.”

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I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
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Brendon clung to his mother’s side, his heart going wild and his cheeks on fire.
He breathed out, softly, as he heard his mother’s words and then the man’s
before they were all walking back to the cash register. Brendon’s eyes widened
and his hold on his mother tightened as he realized that… t-that things were finally
going his way.



His… His mother was going to have the owner drop off the books later…! T-They
were going to leave the shop now…! Brendon trembled with his barely concealed
anxiousness at the thought of b-being able to leave…!



Why was he cowering against his mother as though he had done something wrong?
T…That’s right. They were leaving now, a-and there… there was definitely
nothing to be afraid of. Humph, Brendon thought and… and despite his
thoughts he was still shaky as he released his hold on his mother to finally stand
on his own once more.



He watched her as she began to write down their address on the paper that had
been provided. Her writing was very pretty, he silently complimented her. He
was still nervous, his fingers curling into his robes at his sides, bunching them up
as he clutched at them tightly.



J-Just a little bit longer… and then he was free…! T-The thought was making him
antsy! He just wanted his mom to hurry up so he could run out of the store. Why
did it take so long to write their address…!



Finally, his mother straightened and slid the paper back toward Mr. Ardel.



“Thank you, Mr. Ardel. Anytime after, let’s say, one will be fine.”

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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ●
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Mr. Ardel moved passed them and Brendon hesitantly glanced toward the man.
As his mother turned with him to follow the owner to the front, Brendon found
himself looking at Mr. Ardel from behind. He’s a bad man, he reminded
himself with haughtiness and lifted his chin a little higher as he moved his
attention away from him. A bad, bad, man.



That’s right. He didn’t like him. He didn’t like bad people. Especially bad
people who tried kissing you—t-those were the worst types of bad people ever…!
That’s right…!



Brendon unconsciously took in a long, deep, breath. His nerves were frazzled,
and he felt as though his hair wasn’t properly brushed. He found himself lifting
one of his hands to self-consciously pat at his head and send mean glares Mr.
Ardel’s way, since he could get away with it right now while his mother talked to
him.



“Thank you again, Mr. Ardel,” She was telling him while Brendon scowled and
made faces at the man. Purposeful mean faces and even stuck his tongue out
and thought about pressing his nose up to make a pig face he had seen other
juvenile children do.



B-But then, the moment his mother started to glance in his direction… he quickly
stiffened and smiled to her. He nodded his head shyly after she asked if he was
ready to go.

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