won't you take a breath and dive in deep?

TORY

TORY

{ Lurker in Training }
Inactive
Nov 11, 2016
418
Southern California, USA
Pronouns
She/Her

S c o t t
{{ MOOD; Frustrated. | WEARING | ENERGY: 84% | WITH: Auden. | @Claire | No Notes. }}​

"Welcome to the club." Scott replied to the eye comment, mainly out of instinct.

Scott's hands removed themselves from both of Auden's, settling on his hips. Gently tugging him closer, there was a brief moment of second thoughts. Would this kiss really solve anything? Would it actually make him figure out if this was worth the effort or not? Oh gods. Scott doesn't know.

Leaning forward, Scott pressed his lips against Auden's. For a brief moment, Scott's grip tightened on Auden's hips, the pads of his fingers holding his partner in place. He could not help but feel a warmth in his chest and his shoulders lower as he relaxed. Maybe it was Scott's own hesitance or maybe his suspicions of himself were right.

Pulling away, Scott's arms just gently wrapped around Auden's waist. His head buried himself in his companions shoulders, fingers gripping at the fabric of the raven mockers shirt. The movement his back and the mildly frustrated noise, Scott still hadn't received his answer.​
 
Claire

Claire

Spicy Bean Water
Inactive
Nov 10, 2013
3,735
Canada
Pronouns
She, Her, Hers
Auden liked how his hands felt on his hips. They felt strong and demanding, as if Auden wouldn't be able to escape if he tried. Auden placed his hands on his shoulders once they were free, tilting his head slightly to the side as they kissed. His entire body lit up like a firework. His eyes closed as he melted into him. It felt great, like some magical spell was put on him and made him want more and more. When they pulled away, Auden just gently patted his back, as if it was a hassle to kiss him. "So? You seemed pretty, unsure of yourself." It was super cute how he was cuddling up to him. "If you don't know then... I'll take that as a no."
 
TORY

TORY

{ Lurker in Training }
Inactive
Nov 11, 2016
418
Southern California, USA
Pronouns
She/Her

S c o t t
{{ MOOD; Frustrated. | WEARING | ENERGY: 84% | WITH: Auden. | @Claire | No Notes. }}​

There was just silence. Scott said nothing and made no moves as Auden just gently rubbed his back. He had to admit that Auden being there, just sitting in his lap with his hands gently rubbing circles into the tense muscles of his shoulders, was comforting. But that frusration still boiled in his chest. Why couldn't he figure this out? He felt that warmth, that feeling. But was any of it real? Scott had been able to fake emotions so well that he sometimes he felt like they were real when he was just doing it to spread the sin of envy.

That was why Scott was second guessing himself.

Why he pulled away.

Scott wanted his feelings to be genuine but if they were just going to feel fake he wasn't going to hurt Auden for it. But Scott was almost beginning to blame Auden for this. He wouldn't have all this trouble if he hadn't fallen for that flirty dork who loved to hold his hand and then beat up some guys for kicks.

"This is all your fault." Scott hissed, pulling away. Glaring at the raven mocker, he suddenly pushed the male forward. Their position shifted as Scott got on top of Auden, glaring down at the red eyed student. Their leg's hadn't shifted, so technically Scott was still between Auden's legs while his hands gripping Auden's smaller wrists just enough to slowly start cutting off blood. "This is all. Your. Fucking. Fault." There was anger in his eyes, but the layer over them suggested he might start crying.​
 
Claire

Claire

Spicy Bean Water
Inactive
Nov 10, 2013
3,735
Canada
Pronouns
She, Her, Hers
He waited patiently. Auden didn't want to upset Scott in any way, not any more than he already had. Auden was a mess too, since he wasn't the best with his emotions. Though even with that, he hadn't expected him to snap like this. With a worried gasp, he was thrusters backwards. It was strange, but he knew all of this was genuine. His face relaxed a bit, hearing that it was all his fault, that all these feelings that Scott was getting mixed up were all this fault. It was almost the same old story, wasn't it? Blame others rather than yourself. It hurt nonetheless, that Scott thought so little of him. "Yes. I'm the big bad guy that's fucking with your emotions." He gave a weak smile before he got a bit teary eyed. "So kiss me." He leaned, knowing that kissing him again was the only thing he could do- other than kicking him in between the legs.
 
TORY

TORY

{ Lurker in Training }
Inactive
Nov 11, 2016
418
Southern California, USA
Pronouns
She/Her

S c o t t
{{ MOOD; Frustrated. | WEARING | ENERGY: 84% | WITH: Auden. | @Claire | Rewritten. }}
​
The frustration had turned to anger, and Auden was right - that was how Scott was dealing with this for right now. Scott was going to blame Auden for all of this. It was Auden who actually made him feel like he needed to act cool. Auden who made Scott have a weird butterfly feeling in his chest when the male first scampered out to help him find the Academy. Who made him swallow his own blush after giving him that peck and a paper with his phone number. Who made him feel flustered when he found Auden beat the shit out of people on campus.

"Making out with you isn't going to solve anything! It's not going to fix this." Scott glared at the other, his nails digging into his partners flesh. "It's just gonna make it worse, you ass! You're demanding I love you whole heartedly - you demand that my feelings are genuine - What if I'm not giving you an answer because I don't know?! You used your stupid little trick to get an answer out of me and you're not happy with that either!"​
 
Claire

Claire

Spicy Bean Water
Inactive
Nov 10, 2013
3,735
Canada
Pronouns
She, Her, Hers
"Then beat me up, abuse me- I don't care anymore." He closed his eyes, feeling his body jolt as a wetness came from his eyes. He wasn't a crier, but all of this was just confusing him even more. "I just like you... I-I um..." he tried to tear his hands away in order to shield his face. "Do you want me to say that I hate you? Will that make you happy?" He snarled and snapped his teeth, as the pain at his wrists got more intense.

"Will that fucking change anything for you? Or are you just ignoring your body's feelings?" He grunted a bit, wrapping his leg around Scott's before pushing his weight to the side. Now, he was on top. "It's a part of my powers, not some stupid trickery. Why'd you think that I wear glasses?" He tried to rub his eyes with his shoulder, but the tears just patted onto Scott's face. "I'm trying here! I don't know how to help you, what to do. I'm not just going to disappear because you're not sure!" He sniffed a bit, his red eyes looking even redder now. "I want to be with you so... If you want me to wait for you to feel something then just fucking say it. You fuck." He bit his lip before slowly falling on Scott's chest as his emotions got the best of him. "I just don't understand. I-I want to figure it out." His heart went crazy whenever Scott even noticed him. He had fallen hard for him already, but saying that now would just scare him away.
 
TORY

TORY

{ Lurker in Training }
Inactive
Nov 11, 2016
418
Southern California, USA
Pronouns
She/Her

S c o t t
{{ MOOD; Frustrated. | WEARING | ENERGY: 84% | WITH: Auden. | @Claire | Rewritten. }}​
He wanted to say he was taken back by this.

Scott almost wanted to feel surprised. He lay there, flat on his back as the two just snarled and snapped at each other without really any making a move to hurt the other. They did not actually want to fight, both of them knew it - they were doing this more out of frustration with other than with genuine anger. Scott could only really watch as his companions tears traced his cheekbones before deciding to trace Scott's. He could feel the lump form in his throat as he watched the other begin to cry over something he had no control over. The son of Envy did know that this was his fault, but he was too proud to do so.

There was only an almost hysterical laugh as Auden flopped on his chest. The weight knocked Scott's air out of his lungs and yet he seemed to recover fast enough to give that almost empty laugh. "That's it, Auden." The first time Scott actually used his name, not any sweet nickname.. "I don't know if I feel sometimes. I'm not going to make you wait for something that might not come. I don't understand either." Scott reached up and covered his eyes with his arm. The angle he was laying at got the setting sun in his eyes.

"If you want the truth, you can have it. I'm not sure you'll want it or like it though."​
 
Claire

Claire

Spicy Bean Water
Inactive
Nov 10, 2013
3,735
Canada
Pronouns
She, Her, Hers
Auden huffed an unhappy sigh out. He traced his hands on the side of Scott, wanting him to release his hands already. "I'm not a baby Scott. If you don't like me- if you don't even like guys... I'll just leave you alone." He nuzzled his face up to his shoulder and bit it protectively. "I'm okay with... maybe you just don't get romantic feelings." He had a friend like that. "That's okay too. Don't force yourself to like me or want to feel attached. It's not worth it if you have to try so hard you dislike me at the end." He rubbed his face on his shirt to wipe the tears. "Tell me."
 
TORY

TORY

{ Lurker in Training }
Inactive
Nov 11, 2016
418
Southern California, USA
Pronouns
She/Her

S c o t t
{{ MOOD; Frustrated. | WEARING | ENERGY: 84% | WITH: Auden. | @Claire | Rewritten. }}​

Scott dropped both of their hands, his arm laying off to the side and one of his arms over his eyes. He didn't feel himself flinch at the bite but instead it was almost like he leaned into it. He struggled to find where to begin. What did he start with? What would he leave out or actually say to him?

There were a lot of things he wanted to just shout at Auden to answer all the questions but he knew that would cause more arguments and more commotion than he needed. For now, he just said it all from the beginning.

"I'm a demon of envy. I was put here to spread my father's sin across the world so we can have more souls in hell - it's my purpose. I've had a million faces and a million names.." Scott began, letting his arm drop to his side. "You grow tired of being other people, ya know? I mean. I came to this place for a lot of reasons. Mainly because maybe here I could stop using my ability too often and I could remember what my own face looked like."

Scott closed his eyes as he took a breath, his chest shaky as he explained it. "I've had a million relationships.... If you can even call them that. They helped me fit in, helped me spread the sin. The more networks I had the more I could spread it out. The more souls corrupted." Scott ran his tongue across his own fangs for a minute as he tried to get himself to speak with that even tone as he did with everything out. "I got so good at it that people genuinely thought it was real. I thought it was real."

Scott opened his eyes, salty drops tracing his eyes before falling onto his blue colored hair. "So when you came along and started your flirting and stuff. I wasn't sure if it's just my body reacting like it did with the rest of them. If it was real. A reason I came to Manta Carlos was because I wanted to stop pretending." He admitted, giving a laugh as if he thought it was hopeless. "I didn't want to waste your time because I couldn't figure out if it was real. To be entirely honest, I'm not sure if I actually feel or if it's all just apart of a persona that I can't get rid of anymore."

"There it is. There's the dirty truth. My life's story. Take it as you will."​
 
Claire

Claire

Spicy Bean Water
Inactive
Nov 10, 2013
3,735
Canada
Pronouns
She, Her, Hers
Auden listened. He didn't even move his chest to breath properly, as if that would disturb his story. It was hard to hear all this, to know that someone had been through so much. If he was honest with himself, Auden just wanted to hug him gently and keep him safe. The poor hing had been through a lot- too much for someone that just wanted to truly fit into a life that was meant for him. Finally, he spoke; but not with what Scott was hoping for. "My parents were drug dealers." He started, grabbing onto Scott's hand ever so gently, as if to play with it as he talked. "I lived on the streets. Never really went to school or learned much; my parents were also pretty hard into their product too. I was mistreated, my sister and I really." It was hard to tell anyone this.

"So for my entire childhood up to when I was around 12 or 13, the streets were all I knew. I- We struggled a lot to get food a lot, and of course the only toys we got were stolen." His eyes closed, tapping his fingers on the back of his hand, mimicking him. "My parents died because of a deal gone south. I tried to continue their business to keep my sister and I alive, as most people just looked the other way. I suppose we could have tried an foster home, but there was no guarantee that they would be good people. I got captured and tortured because of my lack of drug selling skills. When I... Fought my way out, I found my sister-" he wasn't going to go into detail, it was too much. "I came here for a start over, for a chance at an education, friends my age; everything I never got." If he was honest, he still longed for a mother and father to give him everything he didn't have. Love; he craved it.

"I don't care if you care about my past, as yours was... I'm sorry." He pushed himself up a bit, looking into his eyes sincerely. "I know you have a painful past- that you're not sure if you can ever know if your feelings are genuine with anyone-" he cut himself off, lifting to kiss his hand. "Life is short, so I'd like to spend the rest of mine trying to get your real feelings out. Even if I end up an old wrinkly man a thousand years from now, I will be happy that I tried so hard." He squeezed their hands together. "I care about you, Scott. I want to be able to love you wholeheartedly. However that may affect you, or even if my feelings are perfectly truthful, I want you to be with me. My feelings... they aren't to- they are what they are. No facade, okay?"