What's this shit?

@"Thoth"

Ulrich's stoic face broke for a bare moment, a slightly mischievous smile spreading across his lips as he tilted his head back to look at the still standing Nicolas. "Then show me your human cooking, and I'll show you a Panthalassian's basic desires." There were plenty and, despite having been indirectly responsible for the loss of Nicolas' arm, he'd be more than willing to make up for it.

He'd make good on that offer.

Though mildly irritating, he didn't take too much offense to Nicolas calling him and his kind monsters. For generations, since the dawn of humans, they've always whispered and huddled in fear of what lived in the deep. Even with their modern technology, they often mistook his body as the sea bed. The beasts of the water were quick, and they generally stayed out of view no matter how deeply humans probed.

But now he was wondering something else, and it might have been applicable. "How do humans deal with your offspring?"

@"Thoth"

Ah, so Nicolas was one of those prudent humans, then? What a pity. Would that stop Ulrich from poking and prodding every once in a while? Absolutely not. Panthalassian culture was a whole lot more open when it came to sex and that wasn't going to be driven out of him so readily.

Not to mention that his reaction was obviously amusing, too. He reached back casually, hooking a finger under the hem of Nicolas' pants and giving it a light, playful tug as if trying to pull him closer.

"Then how am I supposed to propose sex? Or is it one of those things that must be done in private?" Now he was asking just to see how red Nicolas would go. Red as his hair, perhaps.

Human age guides were a little odd to him, but he figured he'd learn it eventually. It sounded like they were kicking their children away from them while they were infants, but apparently twenty years old was quite mature for humans.

"So are humans raised by both parents on a regular basis? And what would happen if they were raised by only one?" It had become an unfortunately regular occurrence among Panthalassians; the wars had killed many and broken up what would be considered family 'units'. There wasn't as much of an emphasis on keeping together as humans apparently did.

@"Thoth"

Perhaps he'd just found a new hobby. Nicolas was amusing when he became flustered, or maybe Ulrich just liked to see that stern demeanor crack open.

"How about you, hm? You're already part of the drama, so to speak." He let his hand be brushed away, turning so he could rest his chin on his arms on the wood. Nicolas was currently firmly in the "I'm not looking for a relationship, but I'd fuck you if you asked" category. Why did humans have to make it so complicated? It was easy!

As for the parents thing, he made a pensive 'hm' sound, eyes focused on nothing in particular. "Raising a child seems quite difficult on land." Panthalassians took a much looser approach to rearing their young... Unless it was the case of the heir.

@"Thoth"

Whether Ulrich consciously decided or not, his mind was basically made up; he'd have Nicolas, one way or another. Probably not soon because he seemed like such an uptight sort of human, but eventually.

But for the time being, he'd leave it. There were some important matters to attend first, before he went about bending his bodyguards over desks.

Ulrich made an exasperated sound. "You make us sound so crude, you know." Panthalassians were older than humans; they had a semblance of a 'civilized society', as humans liked to put it. Hell, to them, humans were quite archaic in some ways. Why hadn't they learned how to change their forms yet?

"We care for our children, but not quite in the same way. We don't coddle them quite as much as you humans do."

@"Thoth"

Panthalassian babies came in a whole variety of shapes, though they were admittedly bigger than human babies, certainly. When they were born, they weren't completely helpless and some were actually pretty ready to snap at the nearest fin or finger. Panthalassians were born with genetic memory, something that came in handy when fighting family feuds.

"I haven't seen too many, no." Perhaps one in what was a single book about a hundred years ago. It wasn't as if human babies populated parties, nor did they dive to the bottom of the sea. His mental picture of a human baby was akin to what humans thought of when one said 'alien', without the green skin.

"Nor do I really want to, actually. Children in on themselves are usually irritating no matter the species." Except he had one, and that was why he was here.