Waking Up Is Knowing Who You Really Are

"And how would you know that?! You could go out anytime!"

"But that would worry you," Sabriel told her. "And besides, I've been able to keep myself awake this long. I'll be fine." Even with them arguing right now, he didn't regret his actions. He was glad she had drank from him and not from someone else. So he hadn't told her to stop when he should have... he didn't regret that either. This argument he did, though; he never wanted to argue with her. They were going to be married, though, so of course disagreements would come along every now and then. It was just something Sabriel would have to get used to.

At her silence, the young man blinked. "Is my apology not accepted?" he asked, his tone quiet and still just a tiny bit pathetic. He really was sorry for causing her anger and for making them argue.

"Ah. Well, people don't mean to do alot of things...like abuse their children, lie to loved ones, or murder. It's uncontrollable, I suppose."

That described her perfectly. He finally looked at her, unsure of what he could say. So, he just muttered a simple 'yeah' in agreement with a small nod, since nothing else had come to mind.

"Stop...saying that.... You know...I'm right...I love you, Sabe..."

It was time to end the argument. "Fine, you're right," he said quietly, though his mind obviously wasn't changed. He would never really blame something like this on her. "And I love you too. And I'm sorry. Discussion over?"

Sabriel just looked at her as she said 'okay'. He couldn't tell how she was feeling, but if he did, he would have tried his best to make her feel better. He would have felt worse, too, because in a way, that feeling of being worthless had been caused by him. He had argued with her, after all... he probably shouldn't have done that.

"No need to apoligize."

He was, again, about to protest, but stopped himself. No more arguing, Sabe. Just do what she says, he told himself, then nodded. "Alright," he said quietly.

The young man wrapped his arms around her to comfort her crying. He kissed the top of her head and rested his head on hers. He rubbed her back gently, trying to ease her crying. "Shh," he soothed softly, trying to make her feel better about all that had just happened. "Shh..." He didn't want to say 'don't cry', since that might be insensitive, and she did have a right to cry over this. Sabriel was tempted to close his eyes, but didn't do so for fear he would black out or the like. He was getting a headache, but he would live, so he didn't say anything about it.

"I...I feel so worthless..."

Sabriel shook his head. "Don't," he said softly. "You're not worthless." He continued to hug her, hoping she would feel better soon. He hated to see her cry, he really did. All he ever wanted was for Ella to actually be happy.

"Sabe...?"

He nodded. "Yeah?" he asked quietly, unsure if she wanted to know if it was him or if she wanted something. He noticed her try to return the hug but was unable to do so, but didn't really care. All he cared about right now was making sure that she stopped crying.

"I...can't hug you..."

"It's alright," he told her, smiling slightly upon hearing her laugh. It hadn't been loud, but he had heard it all the same.

"I'm...sorry...and don't say it's not my fault. I'm done fighting."

Sabriel nodded. "There's no need to apologize," he told her, since she had told the same to him. He would have said he was sorry as well, but that might come across as himself taking some of the blame as well. While he was partly to blame, she had said not to say it wasn't her fault, and that might be saying it wasn't. "And I'm don't fighting as well."

The silence bothered him. The young man wasn't going to break it, though. Even if it bothered him that she hadn't said anything yet, it was slightly good not to have any noise.

"Sabe...I'm listening to my heart right now...I love you..."

"I love you too," Sabriel told her, his voice quiet as well. "More than anything, Ella."

As Ella let go of him, Sabriel let go as well, and watched as she stood up. He took the offered hand and pulled himself up, though leaning against the wall for support. He felt a little dizzy standing up, and rubbed his head, taking a few deep breaths until it completely disappeared. His vision wasn't perfect yet, but it good enough so that he could walk without bumping into anything or the like. When told that they were going to get dinner, Sabriel nodded. "That sounds good," he said to her. Food would probably help him get his strength back after that. "Do you want to go out somewhere or just stay here?"

"I love you more than life itself.... And...life is perfect, right now."

The young man nodded in agreement. "Indeed," he said. "Life couldn't get any better right now, honestly." As long as he was with her, he had everything he would ever want and need. Ella was everything to him, absolutely everything. Without her, life would just be meaningless.

"How about just go to the cafeteria."

Sabriel nodded; that was fine with him. "Alright," he said, smiling as she kissed his cheek and kissing hers in return. The male headed out of the room, carefully climbing down the stairs. The last thing he wanted was to fall down and break his neck... that wouldn't really be pleasant.

"When we get married, I'm sure it'll be a million times better.... If thats possible."

He laughed. "I don't know if that's possible," he said. Everything seemed perfect already... he just didn't know if could really get better. "Though if it is, that'd be wonderful." He was silent for a while as he continued to walk, just thinking. He couldn't wait to marry her... and hopefully they could get married as soon as possible. He hoped the wedding would go well, even though it turned out that they had to invite Mery's mother and the psychiatrist uncle. He really was dreading having to see those two again.

"I think it is possible. Our life together will be...perfect."

"Indeed," Sabriel said, not noticing her almost hesitate when she said 'perfect'. If he had, he would have wondered why, since they loved each other, and once they were married everything would be great. Besides, everything now was perfect, of course with the exception of Quigi and the Organization.

~

"Spaghetti or salad?"

"Uhh..." the young man paused, then continued, "spaghetti." Sabriel got himself a plate and a fork and got his food. He really didn't feel like eating a lot, but he figured he had to so he could regain his strength. He started walking toward a table at a slow pace, obviously waiting for Ella.

"Looks delcious."

He smiled as she caught up to him and nodded his head. "Yeah. I don't usually trust cafeteria food, but this looks safe," Sabriel said. He remembered that, back when his parents were alive, the school he had gone to didn't really have the best food. That had caused his probably life-long fear of cafeteria food, but for now, he figured it looked fine to eat.

The young man sat down across from her at the table and was about to start eating when he noticed her praying. Oh, crap. What do I do? he thought to himself. He didn't pray at all, and, well, this had suddenly become a slightly awkward situation for him. The eighteen-year-old's family had never been religious in the slightest.

So, he decided to just wait until she started eating to do so himself. He twirled the spaghetti around his fork and started eating, not saying anything.