Waking Up Is Knowing Who You Really Are

The young man leaned back in the chair he was sitting in, legs outstretched in front of him with his feet resting on the window sill. It was amazing how long his legs were compared to how short they used to be. Being taller was one pro to being older, that was for sure. So was the fact that he was old enough to marry his beloved Ella.

He smiled at the thought of her. He had come up here for a while for, well, now that he thought about it, no apparent reason at all, but even so, it was really rather lonely. The thought of her made him happy, and he couldn't wait to marry her. He really was so lucky, even if she didn't believe that she was worth it.

Sabriel closed his dark golden eyes after a while, deciding to just sit back and enjoy the quiet, alone time for a while. It couldn't hurt, right?

"Sabriel..."

Upon hearing her voice, Sabriel's eyes opened and he smiled. However, the tone of her voice worried him, and her turned in the chair slightly to look at her. Seeing how much paler she was than usual scared him more than anything, and then he noticed her eyes. The young man immediately bolted out of his chair and ran to her.

"I...somethings wrong..."

He looked at her and nodded. That was obvious, but he didn't say that, and absolute worry and concern showed for her on his face. "Ella, what happened?" he asked her softly, unsure if she would know or not but deciding it would be necessary to ask.

Sabriel blinked when she took a few steps back from him and stopped his pace. He looked at her, blinking, wondering what she was so scared of. Alright, changing like that all of a sudden was slightly scary, but even so...

"I think...when Quigi changed us...I turned...into a vampire..."

A vampire? He smiled somewhat. It wasn't that bad! A tiny bit frightening at how quickly she had changed and everything, but he didn't mind it at all. She was still the same Ella he knew and loved, and no matter what she was, that would never change. "Ella — " Before he could finish, she had started to walk away from him.

No, come on, don't go... he thought to himself, following her. She shouldn't have to go through the change alone, and besides, if she needed blood... then she could have his. He would willingly give it to her if it was what she needed.

"Ella, wait," he said quietly, hoping she would do so. "It's ok. It doesn't change anything, and everything will be alright."

"Is there something you need?"

Sabriel frowned somewhat. She was upset, he could tell. Then again, vampire's had to kill to live, so he couldn't really blame her. She wasn't the type to really be happy about killing... at least, as far as he knew.

"I just want you to be...safe..."

The boy blinked. "Ella, it's alright. I'll be safe; don't worry about me. Are you alright? Do you need..." he paused, wondering if what he was going to ask would be taken as an insult or as just his common concern. He had already asked half of the question, so he supposed he had to finish it. "... Blood?" The look on his face showed that if she needed it, she could have his. He didn't care.

"I...killed...and I'll probably kill again..."

"But you have to, hon; you have a good excuse," he told her, trying to comfort her. Needing to drink blood to live was probably the only good reason there was for murder, and even though he didn't like violence and killing, there was no way he could ever possibly hate her.

"I always worry about you Sabe..."

Sabriel smiled. He hadn't expected that sort of an answer for this situation, but he supposed he should have. "And I you," he told her. "But you don't have to worry about my safety if you think you're going to end up hurting me." He had lived the last time she had done so, hadn't he? Sure, he had almost died in the process, but he had lived all the same.

"I do...and I know you're willing, my love, but still...I don't want to hurt you."

He frowned slightly. It was hurting him to see her acting so stressed out and the like. "I won't feel it, you know," he told her. He doubted that would convince her, but, hopefully it would slightly. "I don't like seeing you like this. Ella, please... you need it... and if not from me, then who? Some random person on the street who isn't willing?"

"Nobody has an excuse for murdering!"

She was right, and the young man knew it. He was just trying to make her feel better, though. "You can't fight nature though, Ella," he told her. "You have to do it to live, and it's not like you can just stop...." He doubted he was making anything better, but then again, he had never expected Ella to wind up being a vampire. This wasn't something he had prepared for, so how could he have possibly known how to help?

"It's impossible for me to not worry."

Sabriel decided to just leave it at that. If it was impossible, then he wouldn't bother trying to change her mind. He worried about her as well, but for this situation, he wasn't really concerned about her accidentally harming him. He trusted her.

"I don't know the answer to your questions...but if you insist...."

The young man smiled softly as she nuzzled his neck and said that, glad that she was going to listen to him. He didn't like seeing her this way at all, and hopefully by drinking his blood she wouldn't be in blood lust anymore. He didn't care if she was a vampire, and if he needed to give her his blood on more occasions, then so be it. He didn't mind it at all.

As she sunk her fangs into his neck, the cat-eared male just stood there, allowing her to take his blood. There was no pain, and he barely felt anything at all. Eyelids closed half way as he waited for her to take as much as she wanted. If she started taking too much, though, he would have to stop her, since he obviously didn't want to die just yet. His death would mean too much guilt for the both of them.

Sabriel did nothing as she sucked his blood. He merely stood there, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. It was weird, being this silent around her, and it was slightly awkward to him, but what was he supposed to say? Besides, she was drinking, so it wasn't like she could respond or anything. So far he felt fine, so he wasn't worrying at all yet.

"Are you okay?"

He smiled at her concern and nodded. "Yeah," he told her honestly. As of now, he was beginning to feel just the tinniest bit lightheaded, but he was sure it was nothing to worry about. There was no way he had lost a lot of blood yet... right? Besides, he didn't think Ella was done yet, so he wouldn't stop her until she was either finished or until the dizziness got worse.

Sabriel was silent once again as she began to drink. The dizziness was increasing, but he didn't really have the heart to tell her to stop. I'll live... he kept repeating to himself, and strangely enough, the more she drank, the more he trusted her to stop before she drank too much. Even if she wanted blood, she was still Ella, and he trusted her to have enough control to stop before any major damage happened. As her arms wrapped around him, he returned the hug, a smile on his face that was barely noticeable.

"I'll stop if you want me to!"

The young man was fighting to stay conscious by the time she had stopped drinking. He smiled, though, and trusted her tons more now — if that was even possible, since he had trusted her with all his heart before this. He let go of her and fell on the floor, leaning against the wall as he sat there and blinking. Everything he saw was slightly blurry, and he felt really dizzy. Even so, he didn't regret this at all.

"Sorry if I went to far."

Sabriel shook his head. "It's alright," he said, his voice weak. He wanted to close his eyes, but didn't, since he didn't want to go unconscious and worry her.

"Are you okay!?"

Sabriel looked at her as she said that and shook his shoulders. "I'm fine, hon... just... dizzy..." he answered, covering his mouth with his arm and coughing into it. Shaking his shoulders really wasn't making him better, but he wasn't going to tell her that. It would probably come out ruder than he would intend it to be, and he didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"I promise you...I'll never do this to you again!"

He shook his head. "It's fine. You needed it... I just really didn't have the heart to stop you." It wasn't really her fault that she had taken so much. He should have stopped her when he was starting to feel dizzy, but he hadn't. He had also made her drink from him when she didn't want to, so most of the blame laid upon himself. At least, it did the way he saw it. The eighteen year old smiled as she gave him a hug and weakly lifted his arms to return it. Hopefully hugging her would prove that he was strong enough and that he was alright.

"No."

He would have shrunk back if he had the strength, so instead he just sat there and looked at her, even if his vision was foggy. He didn't bother protesting, since her mind seemed made up, and he didn't want to challenge her while he was in this position. A woman's wrath wasn't exactly something he wanted to know, though he would probably find it out eventually. He leaned his head against hers as she rubbed the side of it, still struggling to keep his eyes open.

"It's not alright.... Don't lie to me."

"I'm not... lying..." he said, finally protesting. "It's alright. Not your fault. I'll be fine in... a little bit. Like I said... I'm just really dizzy..."

And fighting to keep conscious, he added in his head, but didn't dare say it out loud. He didn't want to scare her.

"Fine? Hon?"

Sabriel swallowed nervously. He had never seen her this angry, and if he had been in a better condition, he would have run away in fear of her wrath. Well, it looked like he was going to discover what happened when he made a woman angry. He hadn't meant to infuriate her, though; that had never been his intention.

"No, thats not fine! You being dizzy could mean something!"

He gulped, wondering if he should say what he was about to. "The worst that could happen is I'll fall unconscious," he told her. "But I won't, so I'm fine." He blinked his eyes a couple of times to try and regain focus, but it was really no use. He sighed inwardly at that, hoping his sight would get better soon.

"In situations like this, Sabe, love means nothing. The feelings of the heart have to be ignored, and we have to listen to our heads."

The young man looked down. He hadn't meant to upset her... he just thought that her getting enough blood would be better for her instead of him making her stop. If he could have changed it, he would have, but he couldn't. Besides, he almost always listened to his heart; it had been kind of hard to actually listen to his head.

"Sorry," he muttered pathetically, knowing an apology wasn't enough but hoping it would help a bit anyway. "I just thought... I mean..." He paused, sighing. "I didn't mean to make you this angry."

"It's my fault, so stop saying that..."

Her tone of voice definitely scared him. Sabriel just had to get his point across, though. "I was the one who told you to drink from me," he told her. "I was the one that didn't stop you. Besides, you became a vampire when we got older — that wasn't your fault, either." And with that, he went silent, still looking down. Sabriel was too ashamed to look at her... not like he really would have been able to see her clearly, though.