Event Private Tree Lighting: First Date

Samuel wasn't ready. He didn't even know why he'd asked, and he definitely didn't know what he was thinking. He hadn't even told his mother, even though he'd visited her the day before. He'd meant to, but he'd found himself unable to explain just what he was thinking when it came down to it.

People dated. People his age dated. It was normal to date, and he didn't have anything to worry about, but once it came down to it, he'd found himself questioning everything about it. Did he really care that much about being normal?

Or did he actually like her?

In truth, he barely knew Sherry. They'd met twice, and twice was hardly enough time for them to really know each other. He was practically pacing a hole in the ground as he walked circles not far from the tree, wondering if she was even going to show up. Was it a mistake? It felt like a mistake, if his anxiety was any indication.

Samuel jumped when poked, spinning around abruptly. She seemed much more prepared for the weather--he was really just wearing a winter jacket, not a scarf and a hat and all the things he should be wearing--and he tried not to be self conscious about how unprepared he was. He should have brought gloves. He should have got a scarf.

"Hi - I mean, hello," Samuel blurted out, trying to make himself sound composed. "I wasn't waiting long," he added, worried that she was even half as self conscious as he was.

After a second he glanced up at the tree, deciding he'd do better if he didn't look directly at her, folding and unfolding his hands in front of him.

"This isn't the first time you've come, right? To the tree lighting," he said. He knew in a general sense that she'd been on the island longer than him, but that wasn't hard considering he'd only been there a short time.

She was... well, she was pretty for sure. Samuel was having a hard time looking right at her, because if he did, he'd probably blush, and if he blushed... well, nothing would happen, but he didn't want to anyway. So instead, he focused on staring a whole lot at the tree and trying very hard not to stare at the girl beside him.

"We never had a christmas tree," Samuel confessed after a moment. "But there was one in the park I liked to look at. I always really wanted to have a tree of my own, but it just didn't work out."

Not enough space, not enough money. Decorations were second to being able to put food on the table, and living at the school was the first time in his life Samuel hadn't had to worry about it.

"It's good that you - uh, that you have friends and family now," Sam said, giving her a quick glance before going right back to staring up at the tree. He didn't really get why she only had a family then, but he knew better then to ask.

He couldn't look, he reminded himself. If he looked he was going to stare and blush and embarrass himself, and he was trying his very best to be composed. To be an adult, and not some kid who couldn't keep a straight face to save his life.

He wasn't a kid. He was a teenager, and he was on a date, and didn't that count for something?

Only then she grabbed at his hand, and Samuel all but melted down right beside her. He squeezed back out of pure instinct, starting to worry that his hands were sweaty or something. He was just too nervous to function properly, let alone have a proper conversation, and when he opened his mouth it was to immediately put his foot in it.

"Did you not before? I mean - uh, I just -" So much for that. "I mean, like, I always had my mom, but..."

He wasn't doing it right at all.

Samuel was not getting better. If anything, he was getting worse. Every second that passed only served to make him more nervous, his anxiety increasing as she continued to hold his hand.

It was a bad idea. A very bad idea. It was a bad idea to ask, and it was a bad idea to go, and Samuel felt like he was going to burst into flames from embarrassment. Considering it was a magical island, those flames might not even be metaphorical.

"That's awful," he said, before realizing he'd just shoved his foot into his mouth. "I mean about your dad not accepting you - I mean, not your name. Your name is fine. Or was fine. Your old name," he spluttered, his face burning red in the dark.

There wasn't anything wrong with her story, beyond that Samuel felt increasingly nervous. He could barely even focus, couldn't move his brain past the fact that she was holding his hand.

And then he looked up, and her face was wet. She was crying. Maybe not even crying, but almost crying, and Samuel's anxiety spiked so hard it was lucky he didn't actually burst into flames.

"I - I actually need to go," he blurted out abruptly.

Why had he even said that?