Private Finished Stand Face to Face with your God

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
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Lochlann was an immigrant.

He had never remembered a time before traveling. His brother, Lawrence, had fond memories of the lochs and rivers between Ireland, Scottland, and the Isle of Man. Lochlann was presumably born in one of these locations but what he remembered most was the traveling.

He remembered being on the bottom of the Atlantic in the darkness. He remembered seeing strange creatures he had never seen before, of feeling the currents drag and pull him along through the waves like the rest of the herd. He remembered breaching as the sun rose and turned the entire ocean the color of fire. He remembered his shoulders bumping with dolphins.

He remembered coming to America. He remembered the first girl he killed on American soil and how sweet her blood tasted. He remembered moving up and down the east coast because he could not be stopped.
His family had a home and stables now. They’d been there several years, mostly because Lochlann had been here, or he was supposed to have bene here curbing his addictions.

But Lochlann was never at home in Ireland, or Scottland, or even his mother’s country of Wales. He was not at home in the Atlantic or in Virginia or Michian. The closets he felt to feeling home was when the tsunami came and pulled him into the water and he closed his eyes and said take me and the waves said shhhh, shhhhhhh.

Now he was here.

Again.

Rather than emerging from the ocean, Lochlann was stepping off a boat. He was, surprisingly, a little taller than he left. He was still thin but now he was more lean than starving. His hair fell over his ears and down to the nape of his neck in an indication that he’d had a haircut sometime recently, but not too recently. He carried no luggage but wore an old leather jacket that was used to being worn by someone else, someone whose shoulders were broader and whose arms were not as long.

Lochlann fumbled for a cigarette in his pocket. He plucked out a cheap lighter, flicked it open, and lit the end of his cigarette without stopping his pace. There was a new scar over the fingers of his left hand. He tapped the cigarette on it and let the ashes fall to the ground.

He was back.

Because he was back, Lochlann wondered what he was going to tell her. He couldn’t exactly lie to her, but Lochlann wasn’t sure how he could explain. He took a drag off his cigarette.

Sometimes, when he was gone, he would wake up in a cheap motel with a deep need. The bottom of his heart was an empty well and he was constantly trying to draw up the bucket. He would reach across the bed looking for her. Sometimes he could hold a pillow against his chest and pretend he could breathe in her shampoo.

That scared him. It scared him enough that he through himself wholeheartedly into his mission.

He was still thinking about her shampoo instead of what he was going to stay to her when he saw her.

He felt a flicker of something ripple like a skipped stone through his gut.

He did not say what he always said when he saw her. He did not let the words It’s you come out of his lips. He exhaled the smoke from his cigarette and looked at her.

He said, ”Guin.”

For the first time in his life, Lochlann felt like he was home.
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
There was something about the way the light hit her light hair and the way the sea spray lingered in his mouth when he took a deep breath that reminded Lochlann of the first time they'd met.

He'd wanted to eat her then.

He tested the feeling he had now and it was much the same.

Lochlann would love to pull her under the waves that were only a few feet away. He'd love to feel her skin beneath his lips. He felt that need in him and Lochlann's left hand twitched and went towards his pocket for his flask.

His pocket was empty, but old habits die hard.

He took a drag from his cigarette to buy a moment to look at her. She was beautiful, but then again, most women were beautiful in some way. Guin had beautiful hair and soft skin, but what Lochlann liked about her was something beneath the surface.

She was like him.

His gaze wandered her face, over the lips he'd kissed and the eyes that held him captive. He exhaled the smoke.

"You look well," he said, but what he wanted to say was you look harder.

There was nothing of the soft woman who'd drank syrup from his cold kitchen apartment. There was nothing of the frail, broken thing he'd last seen in the hospital.

This looked like the Guin he first met.

The corner of his lip twisted. He couldn't help the way it twisted his mouth into a smirk.

He didn't tell her he missed her. He knew without being told that she wouldn't care so it didn't matter if she believed him or not.

Instead he said, "I think there's something wrong with my eyes because I can't take them off of you."

He dreamed he killed her last night.
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
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It was a fair question.

What was he doing here?

How the hell was he supposed to explain what he'd been doing? Or why he'd even left? If Lochlann had achieved any sort of success during the last year, maybe things would be different.

He decided to be honest with her.

"I don't know," he said.

He'd missed Yule this year. He received some mail when he was in rehab a few weeks ago. The most recent letter was from his father. Are you coming for Christmas? Are you bringing that girl, or did you kill her yet?

Even they didn't know where he went.

"Smoking. Talking to you. Standing."

He shrugged.

"Where are you living now?" he asked her.

Her last apartment hadn't been that far of a walk from the pier. He wondered if she went back after she was attacked.

Thinking about that twisted something in his gut. He took a deep breath and sighed.

There was only one thing he could do to remedy this situation. He had to do it quickly, before he lost his nerve.

Lochlann reached out to place his hand on her shoulder. It was deliberate, with no hesitation. His other hand was ready to grab her arm if she tried to stab him but he knew she was faster than he was. She could move out of his grasp in a second.

It was a test.
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
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"Oh," Lochlann said. "That's..good, I suppose."

He wasn't expecting her to answer him so directly. He'd been prepared for evasion.

He felt...something.

The feeling was puzzling. He'd felt rejection before. It was part of the hunt. Pick your target, get a girl that's interested. He'd never listened to logic with Guin, though.

Not being able to touch her made him feel....

Cold.

That's what this was. This was what it was like to be in the very darkest parts of a frozen lake, when it was so cold the ice not only covered the top but crept down several inches below the surface, taking away precious space until all he could do was cower against himself and brood and plot and wish.

Lochlann's lips again twitched into the ghost of a smile.

Did he need something?

"You," he said.

There was no inclination to his voice. He could have been describing something he needed from the store. Of course, Guin had never been an object to him. She'd never been a conquest. She'd been...

What had she been? What was she now?

"I need you."

He wasn't ashamed of the words. He wasn't ashamed that she didn't want him to touch her. He saw the warning not to touch her again and Lochlann heeded it, even though he was now crushed by the urge to kiss her. He realized his hand was starting to shake so he shoved it into his pocket, momentarily forgetting about the cigarette.

He regretted that when he burned the finger.

"I imagine you're still the best person to get information from on this island," he said."I need a woman with your skills."
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
Inactive
Aug 4, 2013
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His reflexes were better now. He was almost overwhelmed, sometimes, by all the things he could pick up on when he wasn't numb.

He could smell her. When she clenched her fists, Lochlann's shoulder's tensed. He expected her to hit him and he was determined to let her. But she didn't.

"I don't expect you to work for free," he said. He crushed the remainder of the cigarette in his pocket and then withdraw his hand, shaking it out. He'd burned the tip of his finger.

He said, "I have something I think you might want. You might already know what it is."

For the first time, Lochlann was not talking about what he had in his pants.
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
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Lochlann was distracted by the twitching of her eyebrow. It was....cute. She was still all hard lines and ridges, but that was cute, and something inside Lochlann relaxed.

Then, he caught the tail end of her words.

Lochlann's face flushed.

Since his complexion was that special shade of pale called Irish it was definitely noticeable.

He heard want to play games and spit.

"Here?" he asked her.

It was awfully public. Now Lochlann wondered if he should put the same sentence back at her. I don't work for free. He wasn't a prostitute.

He cleared his throat.

"I don't think so, Guin," he said. "I need something from you. You might want something from me. You won't know until you hear me out, but I'm not going to...spit on you...in public."
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
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Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
Lochlann tried to compose himself and mostly succeeded, but it took a moment for his blush to fade.

"Oh," he said. Then, he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Why?" he asked her. "Are you in a hurry to go somewhere?"

He took a step forward, closing the distance between them, and Lochlann looked down at her. If she would have let him touch her earlier, he would have tipped her chin up to look at him. He didn't touch her now, but instead tucked his hands back in his pocket.

"It's been a long time, Guin," he said. "I guess you've forgotten that I don't like to rush things. I don't like to do things in public, either."

He closed his eyes and tilted his chin upwards and took a deep breath. he wasn't smelling her, he wasn't really smelling her, but he was....okay, he was taking advantage of how close she was to catch that whiff of lilly of the valley and sea spray and the wooden pier beneath his feet.

He opened his eyes and looked back at her.

"Can we go somewhere?"
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
Inactive
Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
Your place or…” Lochlann said, and then he stopped. He chewed on the inside of his cheek. “I actually don’t know if I have a place. I was in it when the tsunami hit.”

He didn’t elaborate. He turned to look at her and he was curious.

“Do you think what we did before was a waste of time?” he asked her. There was genuine curiosity in his voice. His eyes, normally rather watery, were clear as he looked at her. He turned away and decided he didn’t want to hear her answer.

There’s a good bar around here but I’d rather not go there. Your place or we can go to the beach. You tell me. Then I’ll tell you what I know.”

He turned back to her for a second and searched her face. He wasn't sure what he was looking for.

"Why are you still here, Guin? On the island?"
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
Inactive
Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
Lochlann wondered if she knew how intimidating she looked when she crossed her arms. He was pretty adept at reading body language--he learned to look at it often growing up and to mimic it. Copying someone's motions--albeit in a way that looks natural and not forced--could help lower a potential target's defenses.

He did not cross his arms to mimic Guin.

She was probably used to looking closed off, he figured. He wondered why he didn't notice that in the past. There was something about the gesture that made him want to take both of her hands, lean down, and kiss her.

Damn, he really wanted to kiss her.

"I don't know why," Lochlann said. "Really, I don't. I had a lot of time to think about things, to think about you, and I realize I don't know why you're here."

He kept his hands in his pockets when he walked. He stayed at her side, some distance apart, which would give strangers the impression that he might have asked Guin for directions and she was just leading him where to go. He deferred to her.

"I thought you were a god, or at least a demigod, for a long time," he confessed. He was sure he'd told her that in the past, but then again, it was hard to remember what he did tell her and what he dreamed. "When I thought that, at least your being here made sense. But you're smart, Guin. You could go to any school in the world. I reckon you could have anything you really wanted outside of this island. I've seen what happens when you put your mind to something."

He stopped for a moment when they got out to the sand. It wasn't exactly the kind of day that welcomed laying on the beach without a shirt on, even with the sun in the sky and the ocean a murky blue before him. He took a deep breath of the ocean and looked at her.

"So I don't understand why you stayed, especially after."
 

ReD

Sex & Death Everywhere
Inactive
Aug 4, 2013
6,766
Bat Country
"You could ask me," Lochlann said. "But you didn't."

His voice was quiet, too. He was surprised by the softness in it.

He recovered by clearing his throat and reaching inside his jacket with one hand. It was a motion that probably looked an awful lot like he was drawing a gun, but Lochlann was not very fond of guns. Despite magical hospitals and healing spells, there were times his leg still pained him. He was just glad Guin hadn't shot him in the buttox; then she really would be a pain in the ass.

Instead of a gun, he drew out a small black book. He pulled out a black and white photo that looked as if it had been printed off security footage. It was night in the photo and the girl in the photo was petite. She was caught from a side angle, disguising the finer details of the face, but her hair was light and silvery and she was wearing a girl's uniform from the school.

She looked an awful lot like Guin and there was something about the posture of the girl in the photo that indicated that she was trying not to be seen.

"I need information," Lochlann said.
 
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