misery loves company

Poppy

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Mar 18, 2015
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@"Critical"


[ #81056444890 ]

Thorn was glad to be out of there.

She wasn't exactly the biggest fan of crowds. They made her bristly, like an angry cat all curled defensively in a corner, and it was especially worse during school events. It was almost like she could sense people just knowing how grotesque her body was underneath the clothing she wore.

Thorn felt more comfortable out here, under the heavy dark night with nothing but the school's lamps illuminating the two of them. Jacob was — well, beyond the part where she desperately wanted to get in his pants, she considered him a friend, or something close to that at least. She felt comfortable around him. Unlike her, he was safe. Harmless. For the most part, at least. On the rawest, most physical sense, he could hurt her, but he wouldn't because he was that type of guy.

She stopped right in front of the pond and pulled out a black lighter with a purple rose drawn on the front and a carton of cigarettes from her skirt, tapping the bottom of the carton until a stick poked out. She offered him one.

"Come on. One stick's not going to hurt anyone."
 

Critical

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The edge of the moonlit pond was a drastic change of scenery from the ballroom. Where there was once light and sound everywhere, assaulting all the senses in a chaotic maelstrom, now there was quiet and the muted colors of the night. In the relative silence Jacob became aware of the mild ringing in his ears from listening to the DJ blast music and, in the time it took him to walk with Thorn to the pond, his eyes took some time to adjust. Everything considered, he also found the change of scenery a refreshing one.

Beyond Thorn and himself, there was no one out around the pond. The dance party had sucked in everyone else. They were alone together. Without the bustle of the crowd, Jacob felt like he could relax and breathe.

Thorn's cigarettes reminded Jacob of how Lenn used to smoke, and still did. She was trying to wean herself off the "cloves", as she called them, for his sake. So at least Jacob was no stranger to them. When offered one, however, he was hesitant. His hand hung in the air, about to take one.

"Erm... Geez... I... I guess one after a few decades is fine..."

He relented and took one.

"I haven't had one of these since I was... God. Like twenty or something. I think I stopped when I found alcohol to be more fun. Not that I smoked a lot anyway."

Using movements that his hands and armed remembered, even if his head did not, he put the stick between his lips and offered it for Thorn to light.
 

Poppy

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Thorn chuckled. "Live a little, teach. What's one stick gonna hurt?"

That was, sadly, the excuse she used when she's had enough tranquilizers to kill a cow and wanted even more right after.

She wasn't short by any means, but she got on her tiptoes to meet the end of her stick with Jacob's and lit it. She took a good inhale and pocketed her lighter, leaning against a tree. Man, this place was perfect, like a well-decorated void they had all to themselves. Whatever laws or deities looking at the earth wouldn't catch sight of them.

Whatever commitments either of them promised, theoretically, were inapplicable in this place, she thought idly.

"You know, I've been wondering what you teach. Do they require you to take your shirt off?"
 

Critical

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It was a strange moment of intimacy when Thorn leaned up to light Jacob's cigarette at the same time as her own, while it was still between her own lips. Meeting the tips of their cigarettes had all the movements of a schoolgirl stealing a kiss from her crush, but stopped short about six inches or so. He met her eyes for a split second during, and he felt his face turn slightly red.

Only when she pulled away did Jacob realize that he had leaned down slightly to meet her. He had to look away as he stood back up straight. Any concerns he had about the closeness that was seeping into their situation were cast away as he took his first draw of a cigarette in over two decades. He experienced a short, shallow coughing fit but seemed otherwise fine.

"Yup. Just like I remember it being."

Thorn's question brought those concerns back to the forefront. As he held the cigarette between his fingers, he looked at the burning tip and considered his answer. He was no fool. He sensed some of Thorn's motives. But he also knew Thorn to be a good woman, one who just had rougher edges. Lenn was a similar kind of woman too.

"Uh, well, not in class. I teach math. But when I'm coaching swim class or the swim team? Yeah. Shirt pretty much HAS to come off."

He looked over at Thorn with a playful smile.

"What about you? Does the shop make YOU take your shirt off?"
 

Poppy

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Thorn laughed as Jacob adjusted to cigarettes. Ah, the usual smoking coughing fit first timers got. Hers was five years ago. These days, smoke went down easy, but at the cost of her lungs being clogged to all hell and losing most sensation on her tongue.

"Math?" She grinned. "I never would've guessed."

Of course, her guess was swim suit modeling 101, but that didn't sound like a legitimate class.

"And you know, I never really got the swim club hype, but I'm definitely checking it out once in a while."

She winked, but it was a mostly teasing, playful wink. She took another huff of cigarette, feeling the wiry nervousness form earlier ebb away.

"It's discouraged, but I do it anyway. People tip bigger when they catch a glimpse of your tits." She chuckled. "I'm kidding, of course. Gosh, Solano, what kind of girl do you take me for~?"
 

Critical

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@"Poptart"

Thorn's reaction was not unexpected. Not a lot of people assumed that Jacob taught such a traditionally boring subject, even though he thought it was fascinating. People bought that he was a teacher. They could see that much in him and the way he dressed. But then they thought he taught subjects there were more... personal(?). Sociology and history were common guesses, and a not insignificant amount of people pegged him as an anatomy teacher. He found it difficult to discern if those people were joking or not.

"We usually schedule drills and practices in the afternoon if the weather permits. Spectators are welcome as long as you don't distract my swimmers. You should come by when you get the chance."

Jacob seemed to be avoiding taking frequent draws from his own cigarette, and when he did it was slow and short-lived. Whatever tolerance he had built up in his youth had been successfully worn away by the years, and he was basically back at square one with the stuff.

After having been on his feet for awhile back at the dance, and now that he was away from it in a relaxing area, Jacob felt the need to finally get off his feet. With a slight groan, he got down on the grass next to the pond and took a load off.

"Hehehe~ You already heard my opinion of you, Thorn. You're a good girl through and through. And I don't really take you as the type to just flash your chest on a whim. You seem better than that.

Don't you got a boyfriend you should be savin' them for?"
 

Poppy

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"I used to." It was an unhappy memory, but after the years spent crying and drowning her sorrows in substances, Henry's memory just felt distant now. If she was being honest, she could barely remember his face. She wondered if she could talk about it. She at least wanted to try. "Aw, what the hell. This seems like the place to have a heart to heart. Why not."

Thorn took out the cigarette between her lips... and decided to put it out. It just seemed disrespectful talking about Henry with a mouth full of smoke, somehow.

"I used to like a guy. Maybe it's kinda fucked up falling in love with a dude that was part of a team that experimented on you, but he was... different." Thorn kicked a rock idly. "He was kind and generous, and he would teach me things I've never even heard about — Mozart, Marx, Wilde, Nietzsche, Hesse. He inspired me to love a world beyond the cage I was put in. Gave me a reason to love life and all its possibilities.

"We broke out one night, and he took me to the surface. My first view of the world was a city skyline with a large moon presiding over it like a looming guardian." Thorn raised two fingers in a gun shape. "Bang, bang. One in the head. One in the heart. My soon groom-to-be was murdered by his colleagues, and I escaped by the skin of my teeth."

There was no sadness in her tone. It was just a numb, matter-of-fact re-telling of the most tragic event in her life. No big deal.

Time didn't exactly heal this wound. But some days, she liked to pretend it did. She shrugged. "So that's my sad story. The magical pot of gold I'm saving for my boyfriend? He's dead. Everyone who wants it can have it because love is dead, and I'm not into fucking corpses."
 

Critical

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Thorn was going to open up to Jacob, and he knew the tone her story was going to take before she even took the cigarette out of her mouth. After so much time working for the Academy, and getting to know the myriad of students that walked its halls, Jacob had developed a sense for when the kids had a past of a certain kind.

There were people who could have picked up on Thorn's history by just looking at her. All of her tattoos and her manner of dress, to some, spoke of troubled past. The inorganic bits that came off of her might as well have been additional set dressing. But Jacob picked up on more than appearance. He could read the way a student's eyes trailed off into the middle distance, and the way they held themselves when they began to recollect. For Thorn, he saw how she suddenly lost expression, and became very cold and emotionless. She was not letting herself feel, or fooling herself into thinking she could not feel anymore.

Jacob listened quietly and intently to Thorn's story. From down on the ground, he kept his eyes forward over the pond in order to give Thorn some "space" to let it all out. He did not nod, and only puffed at his own cigarette. As he listened, he took deeper breaths. The story was distracting him from his usual misgivings, and he was surprisingly done with it by the time she finished.

When she finished, Jacob sat in silence for a few moments, letting the tension ease from the air between them. He put his cigarette stub out and stood up.

"My heart goes out to you, Thorn. Really."

His words were short, but his eyes were tender. He knew that there was little he could say to make her feel "better". He could empathize with her, but not sympathize. Whatever life she lead was far removed from the one he lived, but he still wanted to be there for her.

"I'm not going to assume I know everything about you, even after what you just told me. But I'm still your friend... Not just your teacher, and I want to try and help."

Though he could nothing for her boyfriend or her lost love, he could still try to offer advice. Where he zeroed-in on, was the "pot of gold" she mentioned. Jacob had a guess as to what she meant by that, and it hurt him to think that way about Thorn.

"Let me just say, Thorn, that... *sigh* How do I say this? Don't give yourself away like that. Whatever happened, this is still you and this is still your body..."

He put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"... I mean, you can have your fun--God knows I can't preach against that without being a huge hypocrite--but don't let other people just have free reign over you. You're better than that. You can still choose who gets to partake of that, um, pot of gold..."
 

Poppy

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Maybe it was just her, but it was difficult to value your own body when you're well aware that you're just an experimental guinea pig that's not expected to live past twenty. ILLUSI-MOD hasn't been perfected yet, hence the "BETA". She didn't know what would happen if the ten-year trial runs out. She was halfway there. Most of her kind never even get 'halfway there'.

Five more years... then what?

She didn't want to look at him because she knew there was pity in his eyes. Man, why did she even tell that story? Maybe it was a desperate attempt to find someone that understood that whatever thorns she put out weren't her fault. Maybe she thought she needed someone to reaffirm that the things done to her were heinous instead of normal and expected so her bad feelings could be properly justified. Maybe... Maybe...

Whatever it was, she didn't like the end result. She wasn't a wounded animal. She was a bad fucking bitch that should be feared. He shouldn't — he shouldn't pity her like this.

She immediately clammed up emotionally, frowning. She lit up another cigarette and began smoking, forcing herself to relax so all the bad feelings wouldn't spill out like water being held behind a massive dam. She wasn't going to let him see her like that. She wasn't a crying little girl anymore.

"Must be nice, growing up thinking your life has value," she said, acid dripping from her tone. "How old are you, Jacob? Thirty? I bet you've made some mistakes in your life. You lived through them and they made you stronger, I'm guessing."

She grinned, but it was a nasty grin. "That's nice. See, that's the difference between you and me. From where I come from, talk out of turn, and the scientists take your head."

She rolled up her sleeve and tugged on the wires poking out of her arm. "Plus this shit is killing me. Sometimes my gears tick the wrong way and I feel it, my system and my entire body just barely scrambling to keep me alive. How long should I wait? I can die any fucking day now. Thanks for the reminder."
 

Critical

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If Jacob had not been prepared for them, he would have lost a finger or two when Thorn's walls went back up. As cold and clinical as it was to say, he had a suspicion that trying to getting closer to Thorn would not be easy, for her. It was a prediction he could make based off of his many other interactions with troubled students. But simply knowing that it was going to happen was only one thing. Knowing how to respond properly, without thickening those walls too much, was another.

He let her speak her part. He let her snap back at him and accuse of him being the perfect guy who never know what it was like to be her. He let her distance herself from him in an attempt to invalidate his words and feelings. However her words did not wound him.

When she stopped, he spoke softly and calmly. There was no sternness in his tone, and no loftiness to imply that he was talking down to her. Jacob sounded more like he was making an admission than anything else.

"I have made mistakes, Thorn. I'm once divorced because I couldn't stop being flirty with women, and that was when my daughter was thirteen. I barely see her now because she lives with her mother. She's turning eighteen soon and I'm running out of time to call her my little girl. My current girlfriend, while lovely, makes everyone think I'm an old pervert. And if that weren't enough, I almost lost her because I fucked another woman..."

His voice broke when he said the last part. Not only was the memory awful, but it was more awful than he was ever going to let on to Thorn. Thorn would never know that he had rage-hate-fucked her, and then killed her while he was still zipping up his pants.

"And there are a billion difference between you and I, between me and the rest of this island. I can barely relate to anyone. I'm just some guy. No powers, really. Just a man trying to better the lives of my students even if I can't relate to being a giant shark, or being tortured by scientists, or being a vampire, or whatever!"

Jacob's other hand came up to hold onto her shoulder as he stepped closer to her. There was honest conviction and compassion in his eyes as he tried to tell Thorn that he was doing his best, for her.

"I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes, but I can still care about you, Thorn. I can still worry about you. I can still want the best for you. Even if you don't think your life and body are worth nothing, I can believe otherwise. Who else am I gonna get a unique tattoo from? How else am I gonna see the end of your novel? I can promise you that, when you're gone, I'll remember you.

So please, Thorn... Just... Take care of yourself. If not for you, for me?"


@"Poptart"
 
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