Private Finished Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found

Boop · Apr 21, 2020

It was dark tonight in the woods, though the glimpses of sky were clear and still, stars shining bright. Soon the sun would be peeking over the horizon, a dangerous proposition since Ishvi was too stressed to shift out of his easily burnt nightmare form. But it wouldn't happen just yet, he had time to clear his head. If he could.

He'd avoided the beach tonight. Traveled a different path through the woods. Memories were still suffocating him. Ishvi was so lost in thought on his walk that he almost ran right into the gazebo before he saw it. And then he noticed the altar. The half-angel hesitated. The gods on this island weren't his god, he knew, and yet... Maybe prayer would help.

Thinking back, Ishvi didn't think he'd ever really prayed to the God the outpost had fought for. And now it was too late. "I don't know what to do." A simple prayer but heartfelt. "What do I do if there's no way back?"

@ArcanaFate

ArcanaFate · Apr 22, 2020

Wynnestri felt it.

The call. Someone had actually gone to his shrine to pray. And wanted advice. He could hear the question resonating in his skull. The voice sounded morose and Wynne couldn't help but feel his heart drop in his stomach as the guest lamented not knowing what to do. They wanted to go back somewhere but couldn't? He'd have to hear more details. Feeling that a god's proper attire would be more fitting versus the casual pajamas he was clad in, Wynne quickly shifted his outfit to his formal armor. It was a plain off-gold breastplate with a sleeveless white robe underneath that descended to just below his knees. With a deep breath, he closed his eyes and imagined himself at the shrine.

A faint off-white shimmer would resonate from the alter and Wynnestri would appear after a brief flash of light. He looked to the dark winged entity with an awkward smile and dropped down from the alter and stood to face his guest properly. "Uh... hello! I'm Wynnestri! I'm the... god of the shrine. I heard your prayer so... I'm here. Do you want to just... talk? Or would you prefer I just listen?"

Boop · Apr 22, 2020

Wynnestri was younger looking than Ishvi had expected, but it didn't put him off. Gods were gods and most didn't age much anyway. Still for a moment he was at a loss for words. The prayer, such as it was, had taken effort to get out. If this god had been one he recognized, he didn't think he would've been able to do it.

Ashamed to be seen like this in front of anyone, Ishvi flapped his wings, wrapping them around himself. "I, I don't know. I need..." he trailed off, not exactly wanting to talk about it, though that had been the point of praying. "The other angel said.... And I know you're not, not exactly my God. But He.. I...." He struggled to finish the sentences, to take a breath. One-on-one like this, it was almost as bad as taking to an angel. Did he really want more confirmation that there was no hope?

"I just... what do I do? If there's no way to fix it?"

ArcanaFate · Apr 23, 2020

Wynne gave a small smile, trying to be reassuring for this apparently lost soul. He still wasn't quite sure of what to expect from the... man? Woman? He couldn't really tell exactly who or what this person was but he'd be as accommodating as possible. If someone came to pray at his shrine, the least the godling could do was listen and provide some sort of guidance. But first, he had to understand exactly what the problem was.

"Hey, friend. It's alright. I'm not your god, no. I'm not even a god from this dimension!" Wynne gave a quiet chuckle, scratching the back of his head. "But it's alright. I'm going to do my best to help guide you through this problem you're having. I'm not going to say that I have all of the answers or can magically fix your issue, but I'm going to be here to help you however you want. So... let's start easy."

He held out his hand, giving the purple figure a proper smile. "My name is Wynnestri and I'm a god. What's your name, friend?"

Boop · Apr 23, 2020

"Oh.. I'm Ishvi. I didn't mean to be rude. I just... thought it wouldn't matter. My name I mean, I..." Ishvi shook Wynnestri's offered hand and sighed. He really wasn't thinking straight tonight, assuming a lot. It felt like his troubles were painted on his skin. Maybe it was only angels who knew what he'd become.

And now he'd have to explain. He looked at his feet, burning with shame, choked out, "I'm an ang- a half-angel. And I'm, I fell. "

Silence fell for a moment until Ishvi forced himself to continue, "I can't talk to my own god and I ran into your shrine and I thought maybe it'd be okay to pray. I know I'm tainted and I failed to.. deal with the problem. But I'm alive and I don't know... I had the foolish hope I could cure this somehow, but I was told... If there's no way to unfall then what? What do I do to remove the stain and not infect anyone else?"

ArcanaFate · Apr 30, 2020

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Isvhi. And you weren't being rude at all!"

Wynne tried to push a smile but Ishvi's explanation began to sting a bit. Unable to hear the voice of his god must be a terrible fate to behold. Although Wynne had found himself in a similar situation upon his arrival to Manta Carlos, he at least held the belief that it was due to being in an alternate dimension versus being in his own. Ishvi had also fallen, which explained the odd distorted appearance he currently held. Possibly. He was unsure of how angels appeared in this world but after meeting a very small, very rude angel, he had a strong suspicion Ishvi's appearance was related to his fall.

"It... it's okay." Wynne finally got out, offering a hand in case Ishvi needed something to hold. "I suspect that this island may have the answer you're looking for. The area is diverse and holds many opportunities for change if that's what you seek. Although, I've seen plenty of demons and dragons and other 'evil' entities who seem to live wholesome, fulfilling lives here without giving into villainous deeds."

"Tell me, do you plan on doing dark things? Committing crimes and damning all of those around you?"

Boop · Apr 30, 2020

"This island - this island is, it's not home. I fell here." Ishvi's mouth twisted and he didn't see the offered hand, gaze still fixed firmly on his feet. Even the air felt suffocating. "Almost literally. It started in these woods. I could feel it happening and... I tried... and nothing stopped it."

Ishvi looked up at Wynnestri then, though he couldn't meet his eyes. "None of what I did was a crime. Angels are supposed to be pure and I failed at all of it. I didn't, I never intended for any of this to happen. And when it started..." He trailed off with a hopeless shrug, wings still wrapped around himself, but palms up in a pleading gesture with scars visible.

"Demons... I fell because of my own actions. I am a halfbreed who was given a chance to be good and I failed. And maybe I even killed the angel in me and now I'm just- a thing that shouldn't be. Other angels..." Wincing, he cut himself off again, letting his arms fall. Ishvi was exhausted. He struggled to get the words out. "I don't know what to do now. I just don't want to make things worse again. I fell trying to.. fix everything."

ArcanaFate · May 3, 2020

Wynne gave a solemn look as Ishvi spoke, shifting to lean against the alter. He wasn't quite sure exactly what to say in response to the fallen angel's confession. He honestly hadn't been expecting such a large challenge right away, but he had to do something for the guy. He needed comfort and support in a time where he seemed to be very much alone.

"I'm... sorry. I cannot imagine what it must feel like to experience what you've gone through." He said, reaching over and gently patting the angel on the shoulder. "I cannot say for certain on the actions that led you to this point. You seem remorseful and repentant of whatever crimes you committed, which I believe is the first step to redemption. Regardless of what others say, you are not bad. You are not flawed. You are simply another being of the world and you need to let your actions decide who you are meant to be instead of simply accepting your status."

"Wallowing in pity will not change your position." Wynne said with a firm voice. "Here's what I suggest. Do something. Sitting idly does not benefit you in the slightest. You're a good person, Ishvi. Don't torture yourself for what has happened; try to think of what you're going to do next. For an example, I'm not from this world, either. I... made errors of my own and arrived here instead of doing what I needed. It's unfortunate but it hasn't stopped me from doing what I need to do and help the people who need it. I even had an angel tell me I was flawed because of my beliefs and my choices, and I'm a god."

He paused. "Well, a demi-god."

Boop · May 4, 2020

Ishvi tensed at the other's touch on his shoulder. He was unaccustomed to anyone comforting him that way, especially in his current form. He thought he might break into pieces from kindness. "I.. don't know either, not really. I know it was a mistake to leave home, but falling was one thing after another..." Gulping in some quick breaths, Ishvi was glad he could not cry right now, even if he was probably showing off his weakness anyway.

"I was supposed to be a weapon. I was trained to fight. We all were, but.. other angels are more. And because I I was here I didn't die in a real angel's place like I was supposed to. And now I'm going to school. I'm living my life. I'm alive... I'm alive... I'm not even punished. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do - or if being alive is my biggest failure."

Ishvi shook his head. "This island is not good for angels. So many gods and other things. It takes some getting used to. Praying to a different god is... I have nowhere else to go."

ArcanaFate · May 5, 2020

Wynne gave a small nod, remaining quiet. It was hard to really give the best advice possible for this type of situation. This wasn't settling a simple dispute; this was a battle for Ishvi's very conscience. He was an unused blade, destined for battle but left to do nothing and he felt shame for not being utilized like how he should. He hesitates for a few minutes, letting silence fill the air before finally opening his mouth to speak.

"...Being alive isn't a failure, Ishvi. If you were meant to die on the battlefield, that's where you were meant to be. But you're not. You're here. The fates clearly have something in store for you, even if you can't see it yet." He smiles, hand still resting on the fallen angel's shoulder. "It sounds like you're expecting some sort of punishment from the heavens for something that wasn't your fault to begin with. I'd even argue that this crisis of faith is a punishment in and of itself. And I know this sounds so easy for me to say but you have to just... let it go, Ishvi. You're not bad, you're lost. If you really think you've done something so horrible, then let's find a way for you to 'repent' for the past."

He takes another breath and gives a smile to the angel. "Maybe you can volunteer somewhere, help those who need it. Do good deeds without expecting payment in return. Simply step up and be the person the fates gave you the chance to be. Who you are now is up to you to decide, my friend."

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Private Finished Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found

Boop

Little Bo Peep

ArcanaFate

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Boop

Little Bo Peep

ArcanaFate

aRCANE lORE mASTER

Boop

Little Bo Peep

ArcanaFate

aRCANE lORE mASTER

Boop

Little Bo Peep

ArcanaFate

aRCANE lORE mASTER

Boop

Little Bo Peep

ArcanaFate

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