Private Finished I need you to know I'm not through the night

"I will let you. I want you to."
Jacota said, still angry and sad but also happy now, because Ishvi seemed to understand at least to some degree how much Jacota wanted to help, how much he cared about Ishvi. And Ishvi cared about Jacota as well. That thought made Jacota's tail wag couple of times. There were a lot of cracks in both of them, Jacota knew that. But despite that, or perhaps because of that, he wanted to stand by Ishvi's side, and let him lean and hold on to him.

Jacota felt jittery about beinhmg touched. But he had been improving a lot, and he hadn't bitten anyone in a while. But usually the feeling of uncomfort was there, the urge to flinch and jump away or bite. But Jacota didn't have that urge now, when Ishvi was leaning on him. In fact, Jacota had never had that urge with Ishvi. Naturally he felt nervous, and Jacota's heart was beating fast and his face was hot. But he wanted to be here, and despite his trembling Ishvi wasn't pulling away either. Jacota, wanting to try to be even closer, let go of Ishvi's hand only to wrap his arm around his shoulders, slowly and carefully. He was hesitant, Jacota hadn't been this close to someone voluntarily since...
Jacota shook his head slightly and would let his arm rest on Ishvi's shoulders, if he allowed it, pulling the two of them even closer together. Jacota's tail was resting against behind Ishvi, and it thumped against the bench gently.

Jacota didn't know why, but when Ishvi pressed closer to him he was able to pull a bit closer as well. The two couldn't probably be any more attached to each other, and Jacota felt happiness and relief. He carefully leaned his head on Ishvi's, that the man had set on Jacota's shoulder. Jacota's tail's faint thumping could be heard in the silence as the two remained close in the night.

Jacota didn't see the tears, he could smell them, but he didn't look because he remembered Ishvi hadn't wanted him to see it earlier. Jacota could understand that, he merely squeezed Ishvi a bit and listened to his words as carefully as he could. They made Jacota blush a bit, and he answered as shyly as Ishvi.
"I...I want to do it again, too. I like this...very much."
Jacota's blush deepened and he turned his head a bit so he momentarily hid it in Ishvi's hair.

Ishvi's request made Jacota concerned, but he would happily oblige, he would do anything Ishvi asked for him if it was going to make the man feel better. But something that made Jacota smile? Ishvi made him smile, but would Ishvi want to hear about himself? Probably not...
"I found a small grove, near Forbidden forest. There are lots of edible plants there, and at night bunch of fireflies come out and they look like tiny stars. I like to chase them around, it feels like chasing shooting stars."
Jacota didn't smile a lot, and if he did he faked it, but thinking about his star grove made a small genuine smile on his face. And it widened even more, when he imagined Ishvi there with him.
"Whenever I go there I wish you were with me..."
Jacota muttered.

Jacota was a simple person. The way he thought was simple, his ideals were simple and so were his desires. Before Jacota had only wanted to eat, sleep, drink, and stay alive. He didn't need anything, or anyone, else, that had been enough. But now he wanted, needed, to be with Ishvi, protect him and make sure he didn't need to cry anymore. Jacota felt like Ishvi had become a part of who he was, and that was bit scary. But Jacota didn't let go, he kept his arm around Ishvi and his cheek against his hair, and he could smell Ishvi's calming scent, and how the smell of tears slowly faded away. Instinctively Jacota nuzzled his cheek against Ishvi's hair, only to get flustered and blush severely.

Jacota listened intently and quietly. He was aware of how Ishvi thought about himself, and even if Jacota couldn't understand why he could see, feel, how heavily and deeply it affected and hurt Ishvi. Jacota didn't really know what to say and for now just listened, and slowly rubbed Ishvi's arm with the hand he had around Ishvi.
"You're Ishvi, and you will always stay Ishvi. The one I care about."
Jacota said quietly and turned his head a bit, so he could nuzzle Ishvi's head a bit. Jacota knew Ishvi was battling with his nightmare side, knowing who he was, but when Jacota looked at Ishvi he saw neither an angel or a nightmare. Jacota just saw Ishvi for who he was, gentle and unsure and broken and perfect.

Jacota was surprised when Ishvi said he wanted to protect him. No one had ever said that to him, and it made Jacota feel strong and want to protect Ishvi even more. And the words Ishvi said afterwards backed it up. Jacota nodded against Ishvi's hair.
"I will protect you too. I will be strong for you when you want to rest. I will be here for you when you need me. Always."
Jacota said it with gentle determination, he felt strong and powerful and he wanted Ishvi to be able to feel like this too.
"I...I trust you. I'm....when I'm scared you...you make me feel strong again. If you're with me I'm...I feel safe as well."
It took great courage from Jacota to admit it. He was scared and unsure most of the time, but with Ishvi...he felt peace.

Jacota briefly looked up at the stars above, and smiled a bit. He soon returned his head down against Ishvi's, and his tail was wagging.
" I want to show it to you. It...it'd be even more beautiful...if you were there with me."
As expected, saying those words made Jacota extremely flustered and he hid his tomato red face in Ishvi's hair again.

Sitting next to Ishvi and hugging him made Jacota feel relaxed and safe, the feeling of the man's hair against his cheek was better than any pillow Jacota had ever had. He might've been a bit too comfortable, yawning, and Jacota curled his tail so he had it wrapped around Ishvi. When Ishvi spoke Jacota opened the eyes he had had closed and let out a content sigh. His tail wagged a tiny bit when Ishvi wrapped his arm around Jacota, he was so happy.
"I want to stay here, with you."
Jacota said quietly and nuzzled Ishvi's hair again. Jacota wasn't going to stop Ishvi from going to classes if he wanted to but at the moment he was too happy and comfortable to encourage him to go.

Jacota didn't miss Ishvi's words, and they confused him. What did Ishvi mean by dead? He couldn't mean literally dead, when people died they stayed dead. That was how Jacota thought it was, and Ishvi was still here, alive. Just the thought of him dead scared Jacota immensely and he pulled Ishvi as close as he could, as if making sure the man was really there and not dead.
"Please stay alive. Stay alive and here, with me."
Jacota didn't want to be alone anymore, ever again.

Jacota wanted to stay there forever, but he had to make do with staying there until one of them had to leave. And that was probably Ishvi, since Jacota could deal with hunger and even skip class, just so he could keep hugging Ishvi just a bit longer.