I Just Want To Be With You...

A young man sat on one of the wooden docks, his legs folded, his arms resting on his knees, hands hanging over the edge. He bit the inside of his lip, golden eyes just staring at the water. He was deep in thought, trying to sort out the risks of something. His skin was pale and cold, almost as if he had seen blood earlier. The male hadn't, though; he was just scared of being rejected.

But what's the worst that could happen, really? Just having her say she doesn't feel the same? he thought to himself. Nicolas shook his head, and looked up at the sky, sighing. It was somewhat cloudy, and it was most likely going to snow or the like soon. Well, when it started, he would most likely leave.

Until then, Nicolas just continued sitting there alone, still thinking about this to the point where he was unaware of anything else going on around him.

Nicolas didn't even hear Pooka until the dog was right beside him, yapping. He gasped, having not expecting the animal to come here, and actually almost fell into the water. He caught himself, however, and groaned inwardly when he noticed it was Mery's dog. That meant Mery would be there... just the person he had been thinking about.

"I'm really sorry."

He smiled when he heard her voice, he couldn't help but do so. He turned to look at her. "It's alright," he said, his voice quiet. "Hi, by the way." He wasn't sure if he should tell her how he felt about her while she was around, or to wait a while. He swallowed, completely unsure about how he could tell her.

Nicolas noticed her face reddened, but thought nothing of it. In fact, he was fighting not to blush either, and even though she couldn't see him, he liked to pretend she could. "Sure, go ahead," he told her. "So, how have you been?"

Nicolas slowly nodded his head as an answer. "I guess I've been... ok," he said, his voice still quiet. He looked away from her, unsure of what else he could say. He desperately wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he really didn't know how to go about doing so. He decided he might as well just spit it out, and took in a breath to do so. "Uh... um... Mery, I... actually, no, n-n-nevermind.... i-it isn't really important." He shook his head, getting the urge to smack himself. He had at least gotten the words 'Mery, I' out. But two words? That wasn't going to tell her how he felt.

"So... um... w-what have you b-been up t-to?" Oh, great. Now he was going to be stuttering until he actually told her. Nikki sighed, wishing he was braver; he couldn't even tell a girl how much he loved her.

It tore him a part to see Mery frown. He knew he had caused it, and really wished he didn't have these feelings. It would only complicate things; he didn't want to hurt her, he didn't want to be rejected, he didn't want her to feel like she had to feel the same way... oh, this was just so hard!

When she asked what he had been about to tell her, he gulped, shaking his head. He wanted to tell her so badly... but he didn't want either of them to get hurt in the process. The thought that she might actually feel the same way had never crossed his mind, since he had a habit of always looking on the down side of things. But he didn't want to lie to her... oh, why had he even bothered mentioning it? Why hadn't he just pretended all he wanted was to be friends with her? Why did he have to admit it to himself that he liked her as more than a friend? Why couldn't he have just ignored those feelings? Why?

He was a horrible liar though, and he figured she deserved to know this. He swallowed again, taking a few deep breaths, hoping his silence didn't bother her too much. "Mery... I... I-I don't know h-h-how to t-tell you..." he said, his voice becoming even quieter. "I mean... I g-g-guess it isn't t-that impor-important... but I... I mean, I care about you... a lot... and I... I just... I adore you... you're always so nice... and... you're beautiful... and... dang it, why is this so hard to say?" He paused, laughing at his rambling and stuttering. "I suppose... what I... what I'm trying to say... is that... I-I love you..." he said, and immediately looked away from her. Nicolas doubted with all of his heart that she would feel the same, and he didn't want to see the look on her face when she heard him say that.