"Well it doesn't seem like you know how relationships even work you know. Like, you just found it all out and now? Now you're just trying to copy me. I mean all of that drama earlier was just for nothing then?" He sat up, then stood up fully before giving him a sneer. "Whatever. It doesn't matter, I just, I don't know Hayden." He rubbed his temples violently. "If you want it, the sure. I just mean that you should think it out. It isn't just some game."
Give Me More Than What I Offered
- Thread starter Claire
- Start date
Relationships. "Relationships?" Hayden's voice gained a higher note and his teeth clenched. "Did that shit out there-" he motioned to the window, where the crowd had gathered "- with those people climbing on me, did it look like I could handle that and relationships?". Hayden stood as well, hating himself for being shorter than Cairo but staring angrily up at his regardless. "That 'drama' was as close as I could get to trying to have damn feelings after zero relationships. Load of crap it convinced you of, too" he said, not thinking straight because he had finally had some real emotions and now there were the more negative kind on the way. "Do you think if I thought it was some game I would have said any of the crap I did?"
"Fuck Hayden, I don't know." It all seemed fake to him. Why would such a perfect person want to be with him? He went through all that trouble to get him back, but he wanted to go out and shout things that would only confuse it all? He had such a mercurial attitude; it was just making him stick to his stomach. "Make. Up. Your. Mind." He backed away so clear his thoughts. This was all just too much drama. "I just didn't think that you would like me that much, that you were compensating for not getting any real love. If they both didn't shut up and cool off, this would become martial really quickly.
Hayden ran his hand through his hair and looked away. Compensating was the word that hurt, that shut him down. What the hell ever then, if Cairo though he didn't feel anything then maybe he didn't. "Fine. I've made up my damn mind. If you're not mature enough or too selfish to see what I've been trying to show you, then I'm wasting my time" he spat, turning to face Cairo again and staring him down with rage. Now he was being irrational and stupid, but he didn't care because it was just him and his emotions right then.
"You've well, you've shown me that you're quite the dramatic." He gave off a cold huff to his counterpart. The space between them was starting to polarize. What an awful way to have things go; but Cairo had a hunch that it would have. Hayden was not stable enough to know his own emotions. "You can't just win me over like you do your fans. I'm not like them. A-And yeah maybe I'm a bit of a slut and I like to be with more than one person but, I don't need to go off and do some huge act to show them that I care." He caught his breath. "Shit, I mean do you love me, or have a crush or just care? It's confusing and frankly I don't like it at all."
"How the hell am I supposed to know what this feeling means? What stupid label it falls under?" Hayden turned to face the window and glared. "All I know is that I have never, ever wanted to see another person ever again if I didn't have to, much less want to go find them. Or missed them" he said, rational thinking having still abandoned him and forced to speak what he was thinking, with no filter. Not like he had much of one regularly anyways. "I just... I don't know how to 'show I care' besides that effing mess back there" he added sullenly, refusing to look the other in the eyes or look anywhere but the window.
Cairo kind of felt like a child that wasn't getting his way. Yes, he thought that Hayden was acting the same way, but he at least seemed rather hurt by this all. Not to say that Cairo wasn't; he was just more so confused with it all. With a big sigh, he walked up behind Hayden and wrapped his arms around him, snuggling his head into his shoulder. "I'm a dick, sorry. You don't deserve any of this. You were just trying to show me, I get it now."
He stood there frozen for a second, thinking, then closed his eyes and leaned his head back on Cairo's shoulder. Silence. A huffed, soft breath and a weary semblance of a small chuckle. God, Hayden just wanted to delete his memory starting from that morning so badly. Oh, you know what does that? Alcohol. Yeah, he was going to go get properly smashed when he had an opportunity.
"You were just trying to understand my emotional bullshit that no one's bothered to check me on for years" he replied, shaking his head slowly then just enjoying standing there, with another person who didn't seem to mind his weirdness. Or tolerated it, at least. The only reason why anyone had tolerated him before was because they had wanted something from him, wanted to make him do something that benefited them in a sick way, a way that would hurt him or exploit him. Hayden Kemp had been a puppet his whole life and had just had his strings cut, so fumbling around like an idiot was bound to come with the territory. If only he could keep Cairo patient with him through this learning to be a proper human.
"You were just trying to understand my emotional bullshit that no one's bothered to check me on for years" he replied, shaking his head slowly then just enjoying standing there, with another person who didn't seem to mind his weirdness. Or tolerated it, at least. The only reason why anyone had tolerated him before was because they had wanted something from him, wanted to make him do something that benefited them in a sick way, a way that would hurt him or exploit him. Hayden Kemp had been a puppet his whole life and had just had his strings cut, so fumbling around like an idiot was bound to come with the territory. If only he could keep Cairo patient with him through this learning to be a proper human.
"I'm sorry, I'm just pissed because, I feel like you're treating this all like a joke." He kept a firm hold of him. "You just came in here and blew my mind, but you never listened to how I felt. And now you want to go and date around too? I mean that's fine but..." He paused and closed his eyes. "I just need some time to think about all of this. I don't think we should date right now, not until we both know for sure." With that, he gave Hayden a gentle kiss on the cheek, before gently rotating his own body so that their lips touched. "I like you, okay?" Cairo added on with a coy smile before he took a step away from his lover.