Private Finished Costumer Assistance [poppulchritude!!]

Hyper · Mar 24, 2015

==> Hal

The day was dull and slow and Hal was just about to fall asleep. In fact, he actually can with how slow business was in a video rental store. Hal didn't get why there was even an establishment like this in Manta Carlos. The internet was right there and downloading was just a click away. It was illegal in most countries, that much was true. But he doubts there was such a strict law governing this probably uncharted island in the pacific.

Can't this day go any faster??

Hal let out a heavy sigh. He could have been doing something more interesting with his time but no, he had to decide to find a part-time job. Something that was actually more productive. He could be practicing his ability or anything but he just had to be sitting in this deserted shop. At least he was getting paid. And he hasn't gotten laid off. Yet.

He'd decided to bring a few books to read while he had nothing. He'd learned from the past few days how boredom could drive him insane. But he wasn't in anyway too interested but It kept him busy at least. But it wouldn't hurt if someone walks in to check or something.

Poppy · Mar 24, 2015

Lei was probably the most loyal and possibly only customer of the local video rental shop. He had only been on the island for two years and he was largely unfamiliar with how most 'technology' worked, so he wasn't aware on how "downloads" worked. Recently, he discovered movies and he was addicted.

They were like books, except the adventures didn't typically drag on forever. He liked being able to see the characters, the setting and the explosions. He didn't know how they were made, but he had a hunch some of the characters in the magic discs were recycled because he kept seeing the same face over and over in some of the 'romantic comedy' genres. Modernity was a magical thing.

Last week, he rented six movies: City of Angels (cried for most of the movie), the Notebook (how could they do that to his heart), Bee Movie (why was this made), the Fox and the Hound (piece his heart together and stomp on it again), Bambi (what is a deer and why are they always hurting) and Jurassic Park.

Except the idiot shitfuck at the rental store gave him Jurassic Fuck instead.

He was furious.

He went into the video rental store with his tiny pile of movies and stormed to the counter. He slammed all the DVDs on the table and pointed at Jurassic Fuck angrily. "First of all, fucktruck, did someone put your ass where your brain should be because your head is full of shit. SECOND, when I asked for a wholesome movie about a bunch of a-holes getting eaten by dinosaurs, why did I get an hour of nothing but 12 inches of half-human half-dinosaur cock? I want my money back, asshole!"

Hyper · Apr 21, 2015

Hal had wanted some cheer and interest in his employment life, he had asked for a casual costumer look around the shelves and make small talk as they exchange money. Basically any casual exchange that should be encountered in a day to day basis of being employed in an establishment that requires him to sit behind a counter and count money.

What Hal didn't expect was encountering the rental shop's most loyal customer storming into the said shop in a fit of rage.

He could have simply ignored the chime of the doors, or the slamming of the door as it flung open but what pulled him out of his reading was the pile of DVDs slamming into the table in front of him. It took him a moment to transition is thoughts back into reality from his book.

"Okay, first of all," he began after finally processing what was the commotion about, "please do not shout profanities in this establishment because despite the absence of customers in this shop, there is a one in a million chance there is a child who can hear you. Second of all." He picked up the DVD cases laid on the table casually and saw nothing was seemed to fit his description, "I don't see any reason for you to fly into a fit of rage for a line up of movies made for chil--" As soon as he turned to look at the last case in the bottom of the file, he caught sight of something he did not want to see and quickly flung the case aside. But the image had burned into his eyes.

Hal turned back to the stranger with his face almost flushed, he probably already forgot what he was supposed to say aloud. "S-second of all: It's probably not anyone behind this counter's fault that some idiot walked out with some freaky porno because I'm pretty sure you're supposed to look at what you have before you go down and frolic into your shut-in lifestyle!"

Poppy · Apr 21, 2015

This attendant was, without a doubt, a piece of shit. Emphasis on the piece, because the attendant was SO SMALL he looked like he was cut off from a bigger, more complete man.

(Lei temporarily forgot that children were, in fact, a real thing that exist in real life.)

"OH," Lei yelled, to spite him, loudly and sarcastically, "so it's the CUSTOMER'S fault that your establishment is selling fucked up dinosaur porn in the VINTAGE ACTION section!? I paid two whole freaking bucks for the Vintage Action cinematic classic JURASSIC PARK. What else is next? Beauty and the Sex Beast? Attack of the Sexy Cherry Tomatoes? Indiana Jones' Wild Ride!?

"SECOND OF ALL, pipsqueak, I should sue this entire shop for letting a seventeen year old walk out of the shop with fetish porn! Do you know the kind of horrors I experienced watching this shit!? Do you have any idea how this shit will scar me later in life, how I will inevitably grow up and get a lawsuit against me for molesting some landlord's pet lizard because of latent sexual nightmares about this kinky shit parade?" Lei made a grab for the DVD case, attempting to break through the counter to access the TV and DVD player behind the counter. "LET ME SHOW YOU. I THINK IT'S ONLY FAIR."

Hyper · Apr 21, 2015

"Oh! I'm so soooorry that some idiotic co-worker of mine is blind enough to put garbage in that section!" Hal was quick enough to try and block out their "dear" patron from crossing over the counter because he knew that if he got his way, things weren't going to be pleasant. Or comfortable.

"Please also accept my sympathies because you apparently couldn't read that it wasn't the stupid dinosaur movie everyone talks about!" Hal's words dripped with irritation and sarcasm. The last thing he wanted was an unreasonable person to file complaints against clumsy co-workers for their own ignorance which unfortunately was what was happening at that exact moment.

"And second of all!!" Hal tried to keep the older boy on the other side of the counter so he wouldn't be able to get to the DVD player behind him, "I am not interested in your newly discovered fucked up kink! You can keep that gross bullcrap to yourself!!" Hal was already at the point he didn't care about anything but getting this trainwreck out of the shop and out of his sight. "And are you really that much of a dumbass to not think that you could have just stopped watching the fucking movie when the explicit scenes started?? Or I don't know! Maybe just not have watched it at all?? Because I'm pretty sure the case itself doesn't show its about man-eating dinosaurs??"

Poppy · Apr 21, 2015

Lei raised his finger, vibrating in anger. "FIRST OF ALL, you reject discount dollar store dildo, there should be fucking company POLICY protecting the customers from incompetent, brain dead store clerks who can't memorize their goddamn alphabet! Second of all, how the fuck was I supposed to know the cover wasn't an artistic rendition and the explicit parts necessary to the plot? By that definition, King Kong is a goddamn romance movie!"

Lei burst through the store counter and powered on the television and DVD player. He opened the disk slot and inserted the Jurassic Fuck disc into the Player. The calm, blue screen suddenly transitioned into the main menu.

The main menu was explicit. Already, there was a stock animation of a naked woman riding an obviously plastic green dong. "LO AND BEHOLD, ASSHOLE."

Hyper · Apr 21, 2015

"Oh my fucking god-- No, thanks!!" Hal wasn't able to do much about stopping the other boy from crossing through the counter and reaching the DVD player and exacting his will. Now Hal knew this wasn't going to end well.

"Okay, first of all, you aren't even allowed in this section of the store, fuckface!" Hal averted his eyes from the screen the moment the static blue color faded off from the screen. He didn't even want to look and at that moment, he had two goals: steal the remote from the rowdy costumer he had and get him out of the store as fast as possible before the owner returns from where ever he decided to wander off to that day.

"Secondly! No one here would even need a stupid policy like that if incompetent asses like you didn't waltz into barely decent establishments like these! And there's a thing called movie synopsis in those cases, you dumbass!" Hal tried to pry away the remote from the silver-haired boy's grasp while he attempted shoving him away from the player and out of the section. "I'll give you that stupid dinosaur movie already! I'm not even gonna charge you for the rent for all I care. My co-workers are all stupid so just get the fuck out of this store!" If the owner ever came back at any moment of this exchange, Hal was sure to lose his job for the nth time this month.

Poppy · Apr 22, 2015

It was too late.

The impromptu screening of the bestiality porno had begun. The sound of a woman in the throes of orgasm reverberated within the four walls of the video rental store, moaning inappropriate things like 'oh, tyrannosaurus sex, yes! yes! yes!' Hal was short and weak like other city bred sheep, so Lei simply had to raise his arm so he couldn't reach it. If one glanced at the TV, they would see an inhuman dinosaur-human woman coupling at the middle of what looked like a cheap rendition of a tropical forest.

"It's too late for that, asshole! A dinosaur movie isn't going to cure the trauma I got from that." Lei pointed at the movie playing on the TV. "I want a pile of movies on the house!"

Hyper · Apr 22, 2015

"For fuck's sake, make it stop!!" Hal screeched. He didn't want to hear the sound of whatever was on the screen. The audio itself was enough to make the entire situation feel horribly awkward for him and he hasn't even seen what was on the screen yet. His peripheral vision granted him only blurred glimpses and for a moment, he appreciated having horrible eyesight.

Hal was now desperate to get that remote, it was just at the tip of his fingers. But it was only literally at the tips because Lei's advantage in height kept him away from his goal. "I'm trying to keep a part-time job here, I'm not gonna pay for you, dickwad! It's not my fault you're stupid enough to watch this porno al the way!! Just give me the fucking remote!!"

Poppy · Apr 23, 2015

The torture session seemed to be ineffective at the moment. It was time to up the ante.

Lei grabbed the sides of Hal's face and forced him to look into the tits-and-dinosaur-ass void from which he had never recovered to. "I THOUGHT. IT WAS LIKE. KING KONG."

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Private Finished Costumer Assistance [poppulchritude!!]

Hyper

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