Candy, Snark and Punk Rock [Teddy]

Fish

Well-Known Member
Inactive
"Uuuugh!" Luna slammed her head against the wall of the stolen music room, bass in one hand, notepad in the other. She had spread fliers all around campus, and even gotten a morning announcement by blackmailing the student doing the announcements for the week.

So where were all of the groupies?

There should've been plenty by now, with her looks and amazing bass skills. Why was nothing happening? And worse, this stress was totally ruining her groove. It was almost impossible to play when her heart was tap dancing in her throat.

The clock read half past five. Thirty more minutes and she'd leave and move to plan B, which involved kidnapping and a lot of coffee, which made her stomach fill with disappointment.

"Come on!"
 

Der Lampman

Well-Known Member
Inactive
May 14, 2015
727
@"fish_with_a_pencil"

This was the right room, right? Teddy asked internally, his head pressed against the door. This didn't seem quite right. He scanned the flyer intently again, wondering if the details were all in order. They were, and as such the scene was even stranger.

What sort of band would be in a silent room..?

Curious, Teddy moved to the side and took off his jacket, as it would interfere with his neck. Now that he was only restricted by a a loose black shirt, he planted his face on the wall and pushed it through.

His body stayed on one side of the wall, while his face peeked at the other side. Simple observation told her that the girl waiting alone was irate, perhaps impatient. More watching would give him plenty more detail, but there would be time for that later and he drew back, putting his jacket back on.

He took a deep breath and readied his signature perpetually-smug grin. One leg rose up and he contemplated kicking the doors open, then figured it might end up being too problematic to repair, so he just pushed them open and broke into song.

"Hey now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get laaaid
"

Teddy slid into the room turned to the side, tilted to his right. Then he jumped, spun in midair, and without missing a beat broke into a different song, to the tune of an old song. To the slow rhythm he walked up to the girl.

"Strangers in the night
Two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up until the moment when we said our first hello
Little did we know
Love was just one a glance away


In that particular direction." Teddy abruptly cut his Sinatra solo to turn to the window and point a finger at an owl perched on a tree outside. Without breaking eye contact with the owl, he extended a hand toward the girl and introduced himself. "Aye. I'm Teddy and I'm going to sing for this band. Okay? Okay."
 

Fish

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Who was this asshole? Okay, sure, he sung pretty well, but Smash Mouth and Sinatra? She shuddered; bad music made her ears ring. He was probably another pretentious douche who wanted to get in with the Idol Club. But there was something off about this dude, something almost painted on with the way he claimed the role of lead singer all for himself.

"Pfffft!" Luna couldn't hold it back and started rolling with laughter. Who did this guy think he was? It was most certainly an act, she could see it now, which made it all the funnier. Some dork thought being a cool-kid at her audition was a good idea! Obviously, this guy had never heard about her.

After her fit of giggles ended, she sat back up, getting her breathing steady.

"Three things, Teddy, was it?" She stood up, stretching her arms high above her head. Her crop top rode up, not that she really cared, but it cooled her in the stagnant air of the music room.

"One," she snatched the flyer from his hands, "it reads girls only, 'kay--" where was the girls only? She could've sworn that she wrote it on all the flyers... "Dammit." She slammed her palm against her forehead. "Well, just because this flyer doesn't say it doesn't mean I'm gonna let up on the rule, punk."

"Two: where's your offering? It clearly says on the flyer that you need to bring candy in order to be considered. It's not that hard."

In an instant, Luna's upon the poor boy, glaring up at him with a snarl on her face. "Three. What kind of pretentious douche sings Smash Mouth and Sinatra?! Either one is enough to make me cry, but BOTH? Anyhow, this is a punk rock band, not a 'celebration of the world's worst songs' band. Buzz off."
 

Der Lampman

Well-Known Member
Inactive
May 14, 2015
727
@"fish_with_a_pencil"

Teddy huffed and turned his nose up at the "girls only" comment, whipping his messy hair disdainfully. In a racist, stereotypical French accent complete with a cigarette gesture, he replied, "Hmm. I am fabulous enough for an all girl group, non?"

As he turned his head, his eyes caught a briefly exposed sight of the girl's exposed waist, which made him smile and nod, not in the least bit concerned about being caught staring. After all, if something was nice, it was nice.

This lady had attitude. Enough attitude to prove a worthy opponent for Teddy's aloofness, though at the moment he still kept his eyes glued on her waist. While being attacked for not bringing candy, he launched into a counterargument. "Didn't you consider the possibility of, I don't know, foul play? I mean - oh screw it I'm going to illustrate."

For a brief moment he rummaged in his pockets and brought out two pieces of very strong mint candy, one in each hand. He revealed both, mixed them around, put one back inside his pants, and said, "I brought you your goddamned candy, woman - one of the two pieces is drugged. I don't know if it's this one, or the other one - but if it was someone else with worse motives it would be a hundred percent laced, not the fifty-fifty I'm putting up. You decide if you want to bet on those odds." Why he chose to do such a thing, he didn't know (though that applied to at least half everything he did), nor did he know why he didn't just give her the tiny packet in his back pocket. Or why he pretended he drugged any of the candy. Or why he put it into her hand.

That third issue made him flare up a bit though, and he put a finger to her face warningly. "You shut your ass. Mock Smash Mouth, that's fine by me - only ever listened to them because of Shrek anyway - but you do not mock anyone from the Rat Pack."

Teddy ended his short rant with a wide smile and continued on a different note. "Who the hell said I could only do two kinds of music? That's real damn insulting, you know. Really steams me. Really has me limp. It makes me weak at the knees, to be honest."

Suddenly, he slid back and began to headbang, segueing into a chorus of a Rise Against song.

"I just want to - let - you - know!
I'm falling on my knees right now
I'm covered in the mess I made
These colors used to wash right out
But now they are a part of me!
"

His face contorted into an expression of desperation and anger as he looked up at her from below. Though what he was singing technically was not punk rock, he still found that it would be more amusing to keep singing unrelated things.

"And I've been searching for a remedy
When all along it's been in front of me
I need you here
I need you noooooow
- okay that's enough of that."
 

Fish

Well-Known Member
Inactive
This guy put on airs so thick that he was practically stifled with a blanket of them, and she started laughing again. In a way, she kinda felt bad for him. It must suck to have such low self esteem that one had to hide behind crappy french accents. But more than feeling bad, she was cracking up. Because this shit was hilarious!

Drugged candy, huh? She looked at both of them, it looked sealed up enough, but just in case, she put the sweet down on her notepad and started scrawling out a poison detection spell, the one she used for months when she first came to the Academy.

Nothing. Not a single drop of drugs in it, unless he went through the effort of creating an advanced poison that she couldn't find. He didn't like he planned that far ahead. Without further thought, she popped the candy in her mouth. Kid was lucky that mint was her favorite.

"I hit a nerve, did I?" She asked, grinning as he yelled about how wonderful the Rat Pack was at that she should never mock them. The forties was a sad period of time for music, in her opinion, but she didn't particularly want to hash it out with the guy.

Shit shit shit--he could sing stuff from Rise Against? With extreme effort, she forced herself to stay still and not dance and sway. Girls only was a good rule, she thought, it would be striking to see an all girls punk-rock band. Of course the one and only person to pass through here all afternoon was this blue jerk with the perfect voice for singing her genre. Wonderful.

"Nice, another song that's not punk rock! You're on a role, bud." She had enough of his nonsense, no matter how nice his voice was. "Tell you what, if you can follow along by guessing the bass groove only, then I'll let you sing in my band. 'Kay?"

She did a quick little solo to throw him off and warm up her fingers, and then dove straight into Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy. An easy song, since she was a kind and benevolent judge.
 

Der Lampman

Well-Known Member
Inactive
May 14, 2015
727
@"fish_with_a_pencil"
With a smug grin and another racist Parisian's accent, he said, "Admit it. It was a good song, non?" He was feeling pretty good at the moment, but she suddenly gave a challenge. The idea of winning a challenge excited him, though considering she'd just dissed the Rat Pack, this girl's tastes were probably off. Salvageable, since she had enough sense to approve of a Rise Against song, but off.

"Aw. Really now?" Teddy asked exasperatedly with a look of bemusement on his face at the challenge issued. Unless it were some song like Roundabout or maybe a Red Hot Chili Peppers song, bass lines tended to be unremarkable.

Then she played a bass line which took him three seconds to recognize, and with more exasperation he asked, "Aw. Really? Fall Out Boy? You coulda played anything you wanted and you coulda played something good - you know what, I'm not even going to start."

Instead of arguing - arguing against Fall Out Boy fans often proved a hopeless endeavor - he just leaned forward and began to drum along on a table he beat he remembered. It was a bit sloppy, which he ignored as he was trying for lead singer, not percussion. "Hang on, I'm going to jump in in a bit."

Then he sang a Fall Out Boy song.

"One night, yeah and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even if they weren't so great
- fye, the right song this time. You coulda played that one but you chose freaking Dance Dance."

With a disappointed shrug Teddy kicked into the right song in time for the chorus. Although unnecessary he added a bit of flourish and emphasis to certain words and put highlight on the pauses. And his all too common impromptu lyric change.

"Dance dance
We're falling apart
To half time
Dance dance
Your bass is kinda
Little off-beat
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew
How misery loved me
"

Teddy shot upright and with a smug look said, "What now?"
 

Der Lampman

Well-Known Member
Inactive
May 14, 2015
727
@"fish_with_a_pencil"
With a smug grin and another racist Parisian's accent, he said, "Admit it. It was a good song, non?" He was feeling pretty good at the moment, but she suddenly gave a challenge. The idea of winning a challenge excited him, though considering she'd just dissed the Rat Pack, this girl's tastes were probably off. Salvageable, since she had enough sense to approve of a Rise Against song, but off.

"Aw. Really now?" Teddy asked exasperatedly with a look of bemusement on his face at the challenge issued. Unless it were some song like Roundabout or maybe a Red Hot Chili Peppers song, bass lines tended to be unremarkable.

Then she played a bass line which took him three seconds to recognize, and with more exasperation he asked, "Aw. Really? Fall Out Boy? You coulda played anything you wanted and you coulda played something good - you know what, I'm not even going to start."

Instead of arguing - arguing against Fall Out Boy fans often proved a hopeless endeavor - he just leaned forward and began to drum along on a table he beat he remembered. It was a bit sloppy, which he ignored as he was trying for lead singer, not percussion. "Hang on, I'm going to jump in in a bit."

Then he sang a Fall Out Boy song.

"One night, yeah and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even if they weren't so great
- fye, the right song this time. You coulda played that one but you chose freaking Dance Dance."

With a disappointed shrug Teddy kicked into the right song in time for the chorus. Although unnecessary he added a bit of flourish and emphasis to certain words and put highlight on the pauses. And his all too common impromptu lyric change.

"Dance dance
We're falling apart
To half time
Dance dance
Your bass is kinda
Little off-beat
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew
How misery loved me
"

Teddy shot upright and with a smug look said, "What now?"
 

Fish

Well-Known Member
Inactive
@"DerLampman"

Okay, fine, Dance Dance wasn't exactly iconic, but it had a good beat, and it was the first song she ever learned to play on the bass! No reason to be a dick about it...

"Yeah yeah, gripe all you want about Dance Dance, I was going easy on you. What else would you have me play? I can play all of Save Rock and Roll, the album, not the song, mind you. You name it, I'll do it." She set her bass down--she was tired of playing for this asshole.

Great, now he was officially part of her pathetic excuse for a band. Maybe she could back out of it by not looking for any other members--kill it before it began. That was her most promising idea since this loser waltzed through the door. Or maybe she could just piss him off.

"Listen, I don't know if you were expecting to find a room filled with doe-eyed girls and hoping to get laid or something, but it's obvious that you've got some serious issues, kid. What kind of loser acts cool just to fuck it up with a cheesy french accent? I get it, you don't feel like anyone would like you otherwise and all that jazz, but if you're laying it on this thick, nobody's gonna like you anyway."

The clock was finally winding to six, and Luna hurried to pack up her stuff and flee. No reason to stay longer than strictly necessary with this creep...

"Since you beat my challenge, you're in. Go celebrate with some beer or something. Practice is at four on Tuesdays and any other day I can force myself in here," she sighed, completely forlorn, "g'night."
 

Der Lampman

Well-Known Member
Inactive
May 14, 2015
727
@"fish_with_a_pencil"

"Whoa there. I think you're misunderstanding something." Teddy put one fist up, then extended his index finger. "Several things actually. One, I'm doing the voices and shit - man cursing does not fit me - because I like that stuff. I'd have gone to some sort of theater or acting thing but - too lazy to look for one, honestly. Also, I know I have issues, but they're more along the 'existential crisis' side of the spectrum." To illustrate, he mimed an overly-grandiose speech fitting of a Shakespearean setting.

In the middle of his little pantomime, Teddy abruptly stopped and turned to face Luna. His voice grew soft and gentle, and his smile became warm. "There is always more to heaven, to earth, and to man than what your eyes can see. Even if I'm not a man."

Now back to his normal speaking manner, his middle finger shot up next and he started to walk, positioning himself between the girl and the door. At the moment, any expression that was serious would probably have fit better than his perpetual smug grin, so he didn't change it. "Second, I'm underage, so nah, not here to get laid. Just getting paid and Gatorade maybe - and who goes joining a band for sex? ...wait, that's not a good argument. Damn."

Teddy shook his head in self-disappointment after making such a weak point. His head was turned away as he said, "Third, manners. If I should be singing to your bassline, then shouldn't I at least know who was responsible?"
 

Fish

Well-Known Member
Inactive
@"Der Lampman"

Holy shit—this guy wanted to make Luna rip out her hair like no one ever had before. Sure, he says that he's having fun, but for god's sake, he's acting like a total loser. As a rule of thumb, the more grandiose a person was, the more they pissed her off. She ignored his Shakespearean nonsense and kept heading for the door. She had had enough of this bull.

"Your first argument was crap too. Plenty of underage people have sex. Case closed." She slung her bass' case in front of her, just in case she had to use it to bludgeon her way out of the music room. "Get outta my way before I make you, kid."

Responsible? Responsible for what? Her brow pushed together and she glared at him—manners were for the weak, but she didn't understand what he was getting at. "What do you mean? Responsible for what?"
 
Forgot your password?