Become Mine Only, With Three Simple Words

"Love is, really hard yeah." He chuckled, feeling the cold getting to him. It was damn cold when he wasn't snuggled up to his love. "I've, it's scary to have these feelings for someone, you know? I never have. Took me a good month to even wrap my head around it all, so sorry if I've seemed distant." He looked away for a moment before composing himself a bit more. Oh how he just wanted to stay there and hold his love in his arms forever. That would result in them being very cold though. He sighed as Jericho continued on, almost feeling guilty for his own actions. It was a bit selfish, wasn't it?

"I... You don't need to try to convince me of that, Jericho. I know it hurts you, maybe even just a bit inside. I know that it pains me, too but. I... I can't just change that part of me." He rested his head on the other man's forehead, taking a shaky breath before continuing on his little monologue. "For you, for us. I wish that, I wasn't like this, that i was better for you. I know that you think the world of me and I just, I wish that I could give you that back." If Jericho were to notice, there were tears coming out of his eyes, accenting his finely tuned face, complimenting it.

"I'll tell you everything. You are a part of me now." Cairo tried to wipe his tears off into the winged man's hair, but they seemed to keep coming. He chuckled as they moved away, knowing that he needed to compose himself again. The tears were already cold when he wiped them off, not wanting to get them on the puppy or his clothing. Weak, this was his weakness.

"Shit I-I'm..." He looked away and covered his face with his hand, not wanting anyone else to see this shameful act. "That's all I've ever wanted in life. S-Someone to, share it with completely." He knew he was running to conclusions but the man had an idea of what he wanted. "I want to marry you, and grow old with you and have children and have them be just as weird and silly as us. I want to spend my nights with you, eating pizza and watching weird b movies." He didn't try to stop the tears now. "But I love other people too, in all that mix. I can't guarantee that I won't marry someone else but, I want it to be special with you. You're my love, my first love. You're my life right now, okay? A-And maybe I'm not so good at expressing how much you mean to me, with puppies and fancy rings and affection but..." He grabbed onto Jericho, sobbing. "Just, don't leave me."

The silence that Jericho had scared him immensely, like he was going to just end up leaving him there to cry with the puppy on his chest. The little girl was warm at least, licking the tears that fell down enough for her. It was sweet to say the least. Cairo was shaky, like some fragile little doll that needed to be wanted, touched. He felt like he needed that every second of the day, so maybe that was why he latched onto destructive things like sex and money and people. Was that all that he was good for? Some little lap dog for others to look at pet?

He had heard for his entire life that his beauty was universal. He had older, young, girl, guys and everything in between. The feeling he got when being close to anyone was something that he seemed to be addicted to it. A whore was what he was. He was a dick that used people. Yes, he held onto a few people; but were they really his to hold onto? Was it right for him to even love Jericho? The amount of pain and loneliness he had caused him seemed like too much.

It seemed as if he would break someone so beautiful with a single touch, corruption. He didn't deserve that, didn't deserve someone as gross as Cairo Kaiylla. When he felt the other man's smooth hands on his face and his wings encircle him; it was hard to look at his love. For a good while, all he did was stand there and listen to his response back, before slowly wrapping his own arms around his neck. He looked at him finally, recognizing how gentle his first love was. Cairo gulped, not caring about the wetness on his eyes and face. This was the first time he had let someone see him cry, ever. It hurt him to be this vulnerable for sure. "It's nothing to do with you and how you are. You're a gem." Cairo gave a cold chuckle, before giving Jericho a gentle, almost angelic kiss on his lips.

"I'm marrying you first, so shut up about that." He wasn't angry but there were some things that still immensely hurt him. "I-I know that, the thought of living with anyone else kind of scares me so um-" he stopped, not wanting to give Jericho a heart attack of emotions. "We should think about moving in together. The three of us. I don't- you don't have to promise me anything. Just, I want you to love m-me." His gaze went to the right, as a deep shiver ran through him. "I love you so much a-and I... I'm just scared. Scared of myself."

When he looked back Cairo nuzzled his lover's fave with his own. "What can I do to make you feel like you're better than everyone else I'll ever look at? Is there a way to make you happier?" He supposed that it was the cold in him talking, as a fee seconds later the man let all his weight fall onto his partner. Exhausted emotionally, he was sweating up a storm and had a high fever. He panted, half clutching onto him, half conscious. Why was he so weak?

After Cairo become weaker, he didn't remember much of what happened afterwards. How stupid he was, to allow himself to get so overly exhausted to the point of passing out on his boyfriend. His mind wandered, thinking back to the times where he knew that he wouldn't have someone like Jericho to lean on. He had been so flawed, so self centered and unaware of the hurt he caused to everyone else. Now, he had someone to lean on, someone to fully grasp all he could offer. He remembered the cooling breeze of the winter night, before feeling enveloped in a warmth, a softness.

He slept for a bit, feeling his body heat up before ever so slowly cooling off. After a while of stirring in and out of a bad dream, he woke up with a shaky cough. Cairo's eyes fluttered open, as if they were butterfly wings. "Jeri....?" His voice was weak, feeling a pounding in his head. Despite all of that, he forced himself to sit up in the bed. There was a loud grunt as exerted himself to do just that. His head banged on the wall, before the man panted. "W-What.... happened?"

He chuckled a bit when Jericho came rushing to his side, like he always had. It was something that he really shouldn't have been taking for granted, but it as hard not to. Having someone as close like Jericho was to him was uncommon, weird. He bent to the side in between movements and picked up the puppy, placing her on his frail lap. "S-Sorry... I guess I overworked myself a bit." He didn't want to say why at that moment, not until his love asked that question. If Cairo could, he'd ignore it at all costs. His head shook, indicating that he was okay. With Jericho's presence and his touch, Cairo would always be okay. "I'm fine, you've done enough just getting my stupid ass here, really."

The next statement surely made him anxious. He jumped immediately as Jericho asked him the true question of that night. With a sigh, he slumped his head and patted the place beside him. "Come here, hun." He wanted to hold into his cute little boyfriend when he explained everything; as if his embrace would lighten the load a bit. When he got up beside him, he would wrap an arm around him, pulling him close to his body. "It is too much but- not for the reasons you are thinking." He cleared his throat, trying to grasp onto more air for what he was about to say. His body shook. "My past was shit, Jericho. I slept around at a young age with people I shouldn't have. I made myself feel used, to feel like I mattered. It never truly did though, of course, because I would dump people on the side; I'd make sure that their existence didn't matter to me. Even if they were rich, attractive or longing for me for months- I didn't." He had to look away, not wanting to see if Jericho was crying or upset.

"I never wanted someone like me to love, to even care about anyone. For me, people were just something to be used and discarded like some trash." He paused. "The reason why I'm hurting is you but- because I never imagined myself here. I'm hurting because the amount of love that I denied myself and others is in you now, all of it. For every person I wanted to care for, that I wanted to get attached to... All of that affection is for you, now." He chuckled, feeling his head spinning again. "I don't know if you can comprehend that but, I fucking gave you the biggest part of me. I gave you all my insecurities, all my doubts. My goals and dreams; all that when I said I love you." He brushed his hair back with his hand. "It was fucking exhausting. Having to let go of such a big part of who I thought I needed to be. I was about ready to just break your heart and continue on my ways. I stopped because I couldn't do that to you. I just fucking couldn't." With a sigh of relief, he purposely slammed his head against the wall, wanting to bash it in. "SO yeah, I'm fucking in pain." Cairo didn't want to be pissed off, but he couldn't help it; he was completely out of his element now.

He hated how his boyfriend was so quiet. It didn't seem fair to him that he could spill out all his feelings, while Jericho just sat there in pain too. This needed to be equal, but he didn't know how to do that. When his significant other finally spoke, he could tell that he was a bit shaken up. If he was being honest with himself; Jericho sounded about ready to punch him and cry. He wanted to intervene, to tell him the reasons why he wanted to keep him, but he fell silent as he continued on. Cairo'd wait until the right moment. When there was another pause, Cairo couldn't help but feel a small humming as some of the appliances in his place shook.

The man looked at his lover, his eyes wide to how much he was truly upset. Cairo couldn't help himself, he wanted Jericho in that moment. He moved the puppy to the foot of the bed, being happy at the soft barks she gave him. Cairo half turned, smiling weakly as he leaned in and pushed Jericho's head against the wall, roughly kissing him. He knew he needed to talk, but at the same time his feelings were already so strained. He parted Jericho's legs with a hand, lifting him up and placing him on his own lap. His face was red, but not with lust. "You care so much, you know that?" He pulled himself close to the wall again, still being a bit too weak to prop both of them up alone.

"I chose you because of that. I couldn't let someone that... That needed someone and cared so much for someone they barely knew. You were what I needed, as weird as that may sound." His eyes batted weakly, as he tried to fight his sense of tiredness. "But you're not killing me, silly. That's something I'll have to figure out on my own. That's my own unsureness coming through." To the next unanswered questions, Cairo smirked and looked away. "I want to be together too. I want us to fix each other." He took a breath, enlacing two of their hands together. "So, do you want to move in with me?"