[Angels and Demons bar] Sleeping in

Draven couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter at that, finding the combination of the odd situation and Samael's embarrassment about it, all too humorous and even cute. Glancing down at Samael, he planted a kiss on the exposed skin of his forehead, stiffling his laughter as he did but he couldn't keep that smile off his face.

"Dun worry, the only person I'm sharing a bed with is ya, pretty boy." He assured, a bit of laughter still clinging to his voice as he used one of the many nicknames he's begun to use for Samael. 'Pretty boy' was a fairly used term of Draven's, usually it was demeaning, snarky and flirty but in this instance it was used in a lighter and more playful manner, obviously not to put Samael down.

"Really though..."He started toying with Samael's hair again as he spoke. "At most she got a good glance of my ass...and an ass in an ass, no matter who it belongs to, right?" He practically shrugged the ordeal off, not seeing much to be worried about. After all, Draven was brought up with the view that nudity wasn't something to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Seeing as his father had completely separated them from 'humans' and their way of life, they didn't hold that same view as most modern day households do. Nudity was natural and that's all it was to Draven. He'd never really understand why others were so estranged to seeing another person nude; only when you were laying nude in bed with another guy did it become a problem with his family. That's another story though and it was safe to say he felt completely comfortable as he was, only with the small factor that it made it more difficult for his mind not to wander to territories it shouldn't at the moment.

"Yer mom's not so bad really; I dun really mind the teasin'." He admitted. "Besides....yer cute when yer embarrassed." He smirked. To be honest, he really didn't mind Samael's parents. His mother was nice and he did find Samael's reactions to her teasing to be cute and entertaining. His father on the other hand, he still wasn't sure about but he didn't seem so bad. Not having been able to be open with the parent of a significant other in a homosexual relationship before, it was actually kind of nice and he'd much rather prefer Samae's mother's teasing and his father's grumpy stares over what he was used to before this.

Catching onto Samael's gesture, Draven sunk lower into the bed, pulling Samael with him to lay rather than sit. He shifted slightly, finding a more comfortable position while Samael talked. He didn't think about Samael's lack of sight when he said what he did and his response to it made him stop and think a moment. He'd never dated a blind guy, much less befriended one and although Samael could get around easily enough and had his own version of sight, he should probably give more attention to that. He did find the fact that he used no guide and that he didn't even catch on to the fact that he was blind until he was told, to be pretty amazing and it caused him to forget at times. It would just be something he'd need to get used to long with any other of Samael's quirks he figures out along the way. The thought made him smile; he was going to hold onto this relationship for as long as he could. Though as Samael continued to speak, that smile faltered a bit and he pulled him in closer and hugged onto him a bit more.

That’s exactly why he liked Samael’s mother; because he hasn’t been living with her for eighteen years or his own mother for that matter and he was rather jealous of that. He was close to his mother once upon a time, especially as a child and only even more so when his father began to lose it. She had been the one to find Rafi and himself the first time and though her reaction wasn’t quite the same as Samael’s mother; being that Draven’s mother was disappointed and even fearful for her son. She didn’t say anything demeaning about it, only warning him about his father, trying to persuade him to leave Rafi and though he didn't, she kept her knowledge of it concealed. That being said, she never hated Draven for it but feared for him because she knew her own husband. He missed her, as he did his siblings and watching Samael interact with his own family, as nice as it was, did make him miss them all the more.

Why couldn’t his family have been like this? What made Samael so much more privileged that he was able to have something like this, but Draven couldn’t? He’d never understood that; why others could grow up with so much comfort and he wasn’t allowed that. It was a rather deep-seated child-ish jealousy. He’s come to understand though, that he isn’t the only one and the world simply isn’t fair. As Samael continued to talk, he couldn’t help the jumbled nonsense of thought that flooded his mind and without thinking he opened his mouth and blurted out, “I wish mine would have freaked and just kicked me out.”

Immediately after he clamped his mouth shut and fell silent but didn’t move from his spot. That was sure to sound odd; who would want their own mother to kick them out? Though he was immediately regretting having said that and the fact that the more time he spent around Samael, the more difficult it became to hide his emotions from him. He didn’t regret meeting Samael at all or spending time with him but he wasn’t all that comfortable with the idea of opening up or having someone feel sorry for him. He wanted to open up to Samael, underneath the anxiety that came with becoming closer to someone, it was exactly what he wanted; he wanted understanding and closure but isn’t sure how to go about getting it or if he could allow himself to have that.

Draven sat in silence for a long moment, eyes searching Samael’s face as he came in closer, the look on his face sending a wave of guilt, anxiety and a small sense of relief through his chest. He was right, he wanted to tell him, to confide in him; he was already finding so much comfort just being in his company that he wanted to trust him and get these horrible pent up emotions off his chest. He couldn’t do this alone anymore; he didn’t want to do this alone anymore. Because that is what he has been for so long now and it didn’t have to be that way anymore, and Samael was showing him that.

“That night when I ran into ya…” He started out slowly. “I wasn’t mournin’ for Rafi ‘cause he got into a car accident or somethin’.” The words came easier than he thought they would, though his body was tense and that horrible guilty feeling was heavy on his tongue. “I was mournin’ for Rafi ‘cause he was killed…and it was my fault.” He confessed, toying with a bit of the back of Samael’s shirt in an anxious and uncomfortable manner. It was out in the open now...it was out in the open and he'd never spoken of this before and it both felt strange and uncomfortable but relieving somehow, all at once.

“When we first started datin’, my mother found out first…she didn’t…" He sighed. "she didn’t yell at me or nothin’ but she told me to leave him. She told me if I cared ‘bout him, I’d let him go and forget ‘bout him.” He paused for a long moment. “I wish she woulda just kicked me out, ‘cause I couldn’t do that….I couldn’t forget Rafi; I loved him.” And he did, still did somewhere deep down and somewhere deep down he was still crying out to him like he was that night, begging him to come back.

“I didn’t listen to her and kept seein’ Rafi, even after my father found out…even after he kicked Rafi out, beat me for it and threatened to…to kill him if he saw him again.” He didn’t know what it was about that human boy but that night he could have died right there with him, he wanted to. Now though, he didn’t wish that he had …because he wasn’t alone anymore and that was all thanks to the redhead in his arms and it was thanks to him that he felt safe enough to speak about something he’d never uttered a word about.

“We were careful after that…’till we…’till I made a mistake.” He bit at his lip and he found that he couldn’t look at Samael anymore and turned his gaze off to the side, though he didn’t move away from him at all.

“It was supposed to be a celebration…our anniversary; our...our first time….We had nowhere else to go so we snuck into my room late that night...” This time he paused for longer than before, searching for the right words as he gave one or two failed attempts to continue before getting the words out.

“…I woke up with my father’s hand around my neck, to him yellin’ and screamin’…to Rafi…to hearnin’ him in pain and he…” He faltered, shaking slightly with both anger and sadness, the memory of it all clear in his mind; from the slurs his father through around, to his screaming and begging, to the heartbreaking sound of Rafi dying. There was no way he could describe what had happened that night, the agony of having a loved one die in your arms and the on that dealt the blow being someone he once looked up to, someone he once went to for protection.

“He killed him….he killed Rafi like he threatened he would and I watched him die…I felt…” He reached up to cup a hand over one of Samael’s, his grip a bit shaky. “…I felt his hand go limp against my check…and I buried him.” His voice cracked a bit at the end and he took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily to compose himself.

“…’Cause I made a stupid decision…’cause I couldn’t let him go…” He ended in a shaky whisper, eyes now on Samael once more. There were no tears running down his cheeks, only those that stood in his eyes, and no wails of grief like that night, but his free hand wound tightly around a handful of the back of Samael’s shirt as he held him close. As agonizing as it was to live through it and to remember it, it wasn’t nearly as bad as he had always thought it would be, to tell someone. Though he blamed himself no less and terrible about it, he felt a bit lighter almost in a way…a bit freer to have it out in the open and in another way, closer to Samael.

He couldn't forgive himself for it; not for Rafi and not for his family either but he didn't want to feel bad about it anymore. He didn't want Samael to feel bad about it either. He sat there silently for a long moment, taking in what Samael said and wiping away at the tears on the other's face. No, what he wanted right now was to simply lay here and hold Samael close; to forget the pain of his past and feel nothing but the rise and fall of the other's chest against his. Why? Because he could do that now, because he wasn't alone anymore and he didn't have to hide from Samael. He didn't know the whole truth to it and they haven't even known each other for very long but hell he practically just spilled his guts all over the floor for Samael when he'd kept all of that hidden for the last three years. There was more to spill, much more and simply having Samael listen to this bit, having him know and hearing him say those words afterward, gave him both a sense of relief and a sense of trust that he found nowhere else.

'It is not your fault...not your fault' He wanted to believe that; Samael made him want to believe that but he couldn't, not just yet and he wasn't sure he ever could. What he was sure of however, was that Samael was worth at least trying, that he wanted to, for him.

He still didn't say anything in response and instead, leaned up a bit and drew Samael forward to pull him into a kiss. It was his way of saying 'thank you', thank you for simply being here and his way of saying he'd try to forgive himself...And he would, if only for Samael's sake. Because this boy, for whatever reason, had him falling for him, and fast. Maybe not in love per say, just yet but he was definitely falling somewhere and he somehow believed Samael would be there to catch him when he did.

Despite the situation and recent topic at hand, Draven found that he couldn't help but laugh a bit at that as well. Actually, he was glad for the laughter, it provided for a nice shift in mood from the previously dark one. Though that laughter came to an abrupt halt as an odd look crossed his face and practically drew in a sharp breath.

"nng...keep movin' round like ya are and unicorns aint gonna be the only horny thin' yer dreamin' 'bout." He commented under his breath as his hands moved from their current spot to gently move Samael over a bit. He'd already scolded him earlier for his mind wandering but he wasn't exactly making it easy for him to keep his other mind from doing so.