Private Accepting the Problem

Oh gods, he was going to be sick.

Gabe's hand shook, the text on his phone staring back at him with a look of pure disappointment and hatred. He had found the site as just another goofy website where people confess crazy things and it was nice to see that other people had stress, too. But that post... that post was way too specific. There was something about it that just called him out personally and he couldn't stop the small sob that escaped his lips. It started small, a few tears and the light gasps begging for air. Before long, his knees gave and he curled into himself on the floor. The beige carpet was plain and barely comfortable but he couldn't even feel it.

Thoughts remained, swirling and biting at his every mistake. He was still a monster, even after leaving Halcyon. A pathetic, pitiful child who could only do wrong. How dare he survive and escape when so many other heroes lost their lives when the world ended? Gabe had shifted in full blown sobs now, a low wail of anguish tearing itself from his throat. This was a pathetic attempt for pity even now, he couldn't help but think as he shrunk further into his ball of misery. He didn't deserve to feel bad, he should be hated for what he had done to that kid, and yet Hikaru pitied him? Because he cried? It wasn't fair or right, he should be punished for what he had done.

But he'd never go to the police and confess.

He had just gotten Yuki back from the facility and they had been enjoying their time together once again. He wouldn't dare disrupt their happiness. It wasn't fair, it wasn't okay. They had already been through so much and now it was coming around again to bite him in the ass once more? And it was his fault. Gabe wouldn't deny it; he knew he had messed it up. But, that didn't make him any less selfish for wanting it to all go away. He continued to weep, ignoring the buzzing of his phone as it shook on the coffee table. He couldn't look at it again.

@Hope the Bard

Gabe continued to weep, willing himself to sink further into the floor to make it all go away. He didn't want to think about about it anymore. It was so stupid! He didn't mean to go that far, to push like he had, but what other choice had there been at the time? Someone was stalking Yuki, stalking Gabe, stalking their friends. Leaving those messages, letting his boyfriend suffer in guilt and shame in some sort of attempt at isolation. Even after finding the culprit, it didn't make anything better.

He should have apologized to Hikaru right after. Found some way to make it up to him. Come clean with everything. But he couldn't do that now. If he even so much as looked at Hikaru again, the other boy had threatened to go straight to the police. That wasn't an option. Sgt. Angelo would no longer be a viable vouching of good character for Gabe. That was gone the moment he clashed with him over Yuki's interview. So there wasn't much else to do but just... try and forget about it. He was supposed to meet Yuki soon; they were going to have a lovely date. They were going to go for a nice scenic walk then pick up a late lunch and eat in the park.

But Gabe couldn't go like this. Having Yuki see him so pathetic and weak, afraid to face the music for what he had done. It was a joke. He had to cancel, reschedule. Maybe tell Yuki that he's sick? He reaches for his phone, ready to text an apology when he sees the text from his boyfriend. He blanches, and quickly attempts to type out a text to tell the white haired boy to stay home. But the ever familiar click of his lock echoes from the front door, and he knows that it's too late. He has to face the music now.