A Heart-Shaped Treasure Map

“I don't mind sharing,” Eric said. Once they reached the cafe, it was a matter of figuring what they would both like to eat. Nerina didn't have a very big sweet tooth, and Eric quite liked seafood himself. “Salmon and tomato sounds great,” he added.

Indeed, Eric was uncomfortable. He didn't know if he should try to pursue her again, or if it was better to just make it clear they would not be getting back together. He doubted he could stay committed to her, no matter how much he promised. He also doubted that she didn't care, as much as she desperately wished she did not.

“Are you still singing?” Eric asked. Being banned from Club Gambit, he could no longer hear her perform. He did miss it dearly. “I'd love to hear you sing again.”

Maybe it was worth trying to rekindle something. Their food came, and Eric generously let Nerina take two or three bites before he finished one. He could get himself something later, so long as it meant helping her eat better.

“It's getting warmer. Summer is almost here,” Eric mentioned, “I will probably be at the beach more often, getting a tan and surfing and all...”

Everything she said felt like blows to Eric's gut. She mentioned Félix to start, and then not feeling up to singing at all. To make things worse, she implied she might move away from the summer to find better food. And that, even if she did stay she'd spend a lot of it deeper out.

And finally, she brought up girls. What a nightmare. Eric's expression did nothing to help either of their cause, and he could feel his appetite slipping away. Why did girls have to talk about other girls? Why couldn't they be more interested in themselves, like Eric was?

“...Yeah. A break from school means lots of time to spend with others. Especially girls,” he conceded. Of course, just who would he have for a girl this summer? Certainly not Bunny. Others were a bit... not quite summer material. Not like Nerina. Anyone would scramble to have a beauty like her out in the hot weather.

And here he was admitting he was a big jerk to her.

“Would uh, would you want to spend time with someone over the summer?” Eric tried to keep himself out of the talk, at least explicitly. But the implication was there, or at least he did not deny it.

Now Eric wished he could breathe underwater. He'd happily drive into the ocean and never come back to the surface if it meant getting out of this mess. Of course, Nerina could just chase him down, but maybe if they were the only ones in a ten mile radius he could sufficiently manage staying committed to her.

“Of course I liked you,” Eric stopped eating the salmon, wiping his mouth and focusing all his attention on Nerina. Eric was certainly upset over what she said, “I mean, I still like you. But... maybe we just want different things.”

“I don't want a committed relationship, Nerina. I don't... I don't know what I want. I like you and all, and I like you as a friend too, but I just don't feel like I can stay with one person like that.”

He eased off. It was a lot of emotion from a guy who tried his best to keep his tongue as slick as a politician's. Eric gulped down his glass of water, something to cool him off even more.

“I like doing things with you, and being intimate with you. But I just can't do anything more than that. It's scary...” Eric's voice trailed off at the end. His eyes unfocused from Nerina, staring down at her plate.

He focused on the watch on her wrist. Eric had given that to her. He wondered if Nerina would throw it away after today, now that she had nothing to wait for on land. He wondered where she would go, who she would meet and if she'd find happiness elsewhere.

“Were you happy with me?” Eric rubbed his face. “I was happy with you.”

They left their meal unfinished. Neither of them picked up their knives or forks from the plate. Eric tried to evaluate his life as a sixteen year old. It wasn't going so well, on the topic of whether he could picture spending the rest of his life with Nerina. Even as he tried to make a picture of it, his perspective was still far from complete. It was simply too hard to think about the future like that.

“Nerina,” Eric reached out to the watch on her wrist. He held her wrist gently, stroking the watch's face, “Was this meaningless? Was our time meaningless?”

He frowned. Could he really manage being with one person? Maybe... it was worth trying, at the very least? What more could he ask for a girl out of Nerina, anyway? She wasn't too smart, he supposed, but being around his siblings had Eric think that could be a breath of fresh air.

“Nerina, I want to give it another chance. I can come to the sea more often, it's almost summer break too. I don't know if it can last forever, I don't really know much about what will happen, but at least we can try?”

Wait, wait, wait. Eric had to put himself out there that he struggled to keep his feelings to one girl, but she was going to bring up his brother? Well, he supposed that was a justifiable punishment for his jerking her around. He tried not to think too much into it, but it was still painful to hear.

“You know Félix has a girlfriend right now. Maybe she's just taking up a lot of his time.”

Eric had never met Konishi. He only knew her name. Félix seemed really adamant about them not meeting, but Eric didn't really care. Who would possibly want to date- er, Nerina did. So Eric had to suppose Félix could get himself a hot girl if he wanted to.

No, that wasn't what he should be thinking about. “Félix is a jazz genius, but you need more than that for a good relationship,” or so he supposed. "It sounds like you love the idea of him more than himself."

It was painful to hear her push him away, and then have himself push Félix out of her mind. But it was for the best for both of them, he supposed. "I understand," Eric stirred his fork in his food for a moment, before letting the fork drop and getting up from the table.

He hugged Nerina, assuming she would let him. Either way, he'd offer her some advice, "I'd still like to be friends, though. I don't want there to be hard feelings between us any more."