I wish I cared Less, but I'm Afraid I Don't [Kait]

ReD · Jul 29, 2015

He caved.

With his one good hand, Lochlann punched Chloe's number into his phone. He didn't think she'd be up and he wasn't expecting an answer, but at least if he called Chloe, Lochlann could say he tried to do something right.

God, did he fuck up.

He was lying on the beach wearing only a pair of sweatpants and a silver necklace. He didn't even have time to grab shoes. He was completely drenched in blood; there was a massive gash over his heart that was still dripping blood, several shallow cuts across his throat, and his right hand had a hole right between the tendons that he'd attempted to sew shut himself.

The storm that had passed by earlier had turned the ocean into a mess of rippling grey waves, but the sky was clear now. There was no one around he was in danger of hurting, but Lochlann wasn't sure he could ever sleep again without dreaming of her.

"Chloe," Lochlann's voice was a rasp on her voicemail. "I'm sorry I'm calling so late. If you're awake, I was wondering if you could come do me. I'm on the beach, where we met before. If you're asleep and checking this the next day, pretend this phone call never happened. I made a mistake."

He hadn't killed something, oh no. Lochlann had done something much, much worse.

@"Kait"

Kait · Sep 29, 2015

bzzzz

Chloe awoke to the sound of her phone vibrating on her bedside table. The time was half past "why the hell are you awake"-o-clock, and as soon as she realized why her phone was ringing, her slowly awakening mind was filled with anger. She was trying to sleep, like all other sane people on this island at the time, and now some enormous asshat was trying to call her.

She tried to ignore it, but that only made it worse. Eventually, she told herself, it would stop, and she would be able to sleep.

The buzzing stopped, but sleep didn't come. After the phone gave up on ringing, there was silence, and Chloe assumed that would be the end of it. But after a long pause, it buzzed again: she had gotten a voice mail.

Sleep became impossible. Was it actually something important? Why was someone giving her an important call this late at night? Her mind swimmed with wild possibilities and worst case scenarios. Soon, she was too curious, too excited, too worried to go back to sleep.

She tossed. She turned. Finally Chloe gave in, sat up, and listened to the message.

It was worse than she thought.

Soon she was dressed up and out the door. Chloe tied her hair back in a lazy ponytail that frizzed quickly in the island air. Her decency was covered with running shorts that almost weren't visible under the too-large t-shirt she had been sleeping in. When she reached Lochlann, she was sweating and panting from the run over there.

The first words out of her mouth were "Jesus Christ." If she wasn't so shaken by all of that blood she might have made a comment about how ironic that word choice was.

"Why didn't..." he call 911? She was about to ask, before realizing that she knew damn well why he wasn't going to call an emergency number about something like this. Her thoughts scattered, buzzed, coming through like a radio tuned between stations. Scraps of coherent thought floating along through a stream of static. She muttered something useless, trailing off into tense silence.

Chloe didn't know if there was anything she could do or say to fix this. She didn't even know if she was safe around Lochlann right now.

ReD · Sep 29, 2015

Even though he'd called her, Lochlann was still surprised to hear footsteps on the sand and see Chloe's shape hovering over him. He gave her a tired smile when he saw her, gratitude evident on his face even when she cursed.

"You look cute," he told her. He'd wondered what she slept in for a long time.

He ran his good hand through his hair, mussing the dark curls and smearing blood across his forehead. He didn't seem to notice, because his eyes were glued to Chloe's face.

"I'm sorry I called you," he said. "But I didn't know who else to call. I can't sleep."

Everytime he closed his eyes, he kept seeing her face.

"Could you do me? Right here?" he asked her. "Just for a little. just to take the edge off. Please?"

There was a sliver of panic in that, a slight tremble that he disguised by closing his eyes and holding them shut with his palms. He was so, so hungry.

Kait · Oct 1, 2015

Lochlann said he couldn't sleep.

Chloe felt like there were bigger problems for him right now than his inability to sleep. For example, there was a hole in his chest that looked like a stab wound. He was bleeding out from a stab wound, and he was trying to act like everything was normal.

"...I, uh, I guess I could do that. You look like you could use fewer edges in your life right now." She knelt down next to him on the sand and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to avoid getting any blood on herself.

She didn't start yet. She just sat there, hand resting on his shoulder, wide-eyed, looking at him, worried.

"So... Before I do that. Can you tell me how you ended up like this?"

ReD · Oct 1, 2015

When she touched him, Lochlann flinched.

He hadn't meant to, but the movement, even though it'd been deliberate and he'd asked her to do it, caught him off guard. Lochlann closed his eyes and swallowed, an action that made his throat hurt.

"Thank you," he said, and he gave something like a smile or a grimace at her joke. He opened his eyes to look up at her and the curtain of stars that surrounded her face.

He wanted to show her what those stars looked like from beneath the waves, but the thought made him dizzy now.

"I got my necklace back," he said, as though that was answer enough.

He didn't know if he should explain further.

He didn't know if he wanted to explain further.

Her hand felt like ice on his burning skin.

"I slept with Guinevere Haze....or, rather, she slept with me."

Kait · Oct 2, 2015

He got his necklace back.

Guinevere had the necklace, last she knew.

Chloe started to look at Loch's wounds differently. They weren't self-defense stab wounds from some poor girl Lochlann had eaten. They were from Guinevere Haze.

"I slept with Guinevere Haze....or, rather, she slept with me."

It took Chloe a second to process that. Her stomach dropped. She took a deep breath. She had a feeling that Guinevere was bad news; she had an instinctive hatred of her before now. But she didn't know that Guin would do anything so completely fucked up.

"...She raped you."

This was a boy who desperately needed something to make him feel better. Chloe didn't delay another moment in draining him. Hell, she needed to feel better now too, after having that kind of info dropped on her.

"Did you drown her?"

Kait · Oct 2, 2015

He got his necklace back.

Guinevere had the necklace, last she knew.

Chloe started to look at Loch's wounds differently. They weren't self-defense stab wounds from some poor girl Lochlann had eaten. They were from Guinevere Haze.

"I slept with Guinevere Haze....or, rather, she slept with me."

It took Chloe a second to process that. Her stomach dropped. She took a deep breath.

"...She raped you."

This was a boy who desperately needed something to make him feel better. Chloe didn't delay another moment in draining him.

"You probably should have called the police on her."

ReD · Oct 2, 2015

What Chloe said was ridiculous.

He might have given a different reaction, but she'd started to work her magic on him, and Lochlann crumpled beneath her touch like a piece of paper ready for the trash. Relief flooded him.

"Thank you," he whispered. He realized he was shaking, but Lochlann wasn't cold. Christ, he needed a drink or something. His head was swimming.

"She didn't rape me," he told her. "I mean, that's pretty impossible, and, uh, I...I sort of slept with her back."

He rubbed his face with his hand and ultimately smeared more blood across from it. He considered her question and then looking at Chloe with his dark eyes. She looked pretty in the night, and she came all the way out here because he'd called. Why did she do that? He knew the half-demon had a surprisingly strange sense of moral obligation for keeping people alive, and he'd called her right after a rainstorm, so it was easy to draw the conclusion that he'd killed someone. He'd wanted to, after all, and that's why he called her now. But...what made her come? This wasn't her responsibility. He didn't know what to do with this gratitude.

"I wanted to, Chloe," he said. "It would have been so easy. She was just there, sleeping in my bed, and when the rained started there was nothing to stop me."

He swallowed again. Lochlann rolled onto his side until he was half-curled in the sand next to her.

"I don't know why I didn't kill her. I think...I think I should have."

He looked at her, and the question he asked wasn't the question that burned in his eyes.

"Do you think I should have killed her?"

Kait · Oct 12, 2015

...Wait, so there was literal sleeping with him in his bed involved? Chloe thought that was just a euphemism. Unless sex happened too. But whether they had sex or not, she stabbed him, and also slept in the same bed as him and cuddled or something. So...

Chloe was beginning to realize that she had absolutely no clue what was going on between Guinevere and Lochlann. And now she had to answer Lochlann's question. She would have spent a bit more time thinking about it, if not for the warm haze of her own power making her a bit more talkative.

"...Maybe? I mean... uh, if she had had sex with you at knifepoint even though you didn't want it, which is definitely rape and definitely a thing she could do, then, well, it would have been... closer to being okay to kill her? Especially if she's gonna keep doing stuff like this to you. But it would still be pretty bad on principle, because, uh... killing." She was just babbling now, nervous and overwhelmed by the situation. Without giving him a chance to respond, she went on: "I don't actually know what she did to you though. I'm just here being drugs. So, like, tell me what happened. From the beginning."

His head was next to her knees. She kept the hand on his shoulder, looking down athim with wide-eyed worry.

ReD · Oct 12, 2015

Lochlann felt like he was adrift in the storm, and the only thing anchoring him in place was the feel of Chloe's hand on his shoulder and the warm feeling of her draining him.

Lochlann laughed when she said she was here being drugs. He would not mind overdosing on her, he realized. It was a strange thought, and Lochlann realized he'd never told her about his accident, either. When did he start keeping things from Chloe?

It took him a while to find words.

"I told her to meet me," he said. "I couldn't take it anymore, Chloe, I wanted it to end. She came to my room. She had a knife, she--"

He hesitated, replaying the events in his mind, and Lochlann flinched when a distant wave crashed against the shore like he expected to be cut again. Could he have left, in that moment when Guinevere came for him? He'd certainly had enough time to roll her over and fuck her, but could he have escaped?

Lochlann didn't think so. She'd have killed him before he made it to the door.

He swallowed.

Lochlann sat up so fast that the sand hadn't even fallen from his back before he'd leaned in close to Chloe's face. He struck like a cobra grabbing an unsuspecting mouse, but Lochlann's movements weren't smooth. They were jerky, wild, and scared.

He pressed his lips to hers.

He pretended he wasn't bleeding and shaking on the beach. He pretended that they were back in his room--no, never back in his room, never again--that they were back in the ballroom the night he summoned her here.

He whispered something and it might have been I'm sorry or maybe it was I can't, but Lochlann moved to press his lips to hers again.

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