All across the island, love birds are flying through the windows of classes, shops, and homes to deliver Valentines! Some are discretely slid under dorm room doors, others are posted on the wall, but the good cheer is being spread all throughout this cheerful day.
TO: Carl Bateman
MESSAGE:
*Attached to a mahogany box*
Greetings, Allow me to jump straight to the point. I have heard of your recent engagement with a certain wish granter. I believe that congratulations are in order.
Perhaps now you will refrain from committing such horrendously obvious acts of maleficence upon the student body in the future. Time will only tell if marriage will be able to instill some sense into you on this regard.
I have sent you a relic that is surely not as ancient as yourself but certainly older than your wife to be so at least she may be able to take away some enjoyment from it. It is the tiara of a French duchess, long since thought to have been lost. For the sake of propriety, I have refrained from having it cursed, nor was it cursed before it entered my possession.
It is in fact genuine, my word upon it, whatever that may mean to you. Do with it as you wish.
May our paths never cross again, should the heavens will it.
This meaning, of course, that it shall doubtlessly occur, much to the misfortune of all parties involved.
FROM: You are well enough aware.